Ordained Praise

...out of the mouths of babes, Thou hast ordained praise...

I had a job once. For hours, I would pat babes, crying, screaming infants.
Alone in a room filled with cribs and babies, I would pat.
...out of the mouths of babes, Thou hast ordained praise...
This beautiful 'sword of the Spirit which is the Word of God' helped get me through and turned me into an instrument of praise.

Pat, pat, pat, they gave nothing back but cries and then finally sleep. Then another would need me. Pat, pat, pat, it was a noisy then silent, loud then quiet monastery for me.

The baby house on the kibbutz filled with creatures 6 weeks to a few months old, yet they had already been taught to praise.
Ordained praise.

Ah Lord,
You made me, as much as any flower.
I embody Praise.
My mind, my body, my soul-Spirit;
I embody Praise.
My frets and keys are crowned with glory and honor,
My life, Your stringed instrument silences darkness.
The moon, the stars, Your little daughter;
We are set in place by Your fingers.
The music rises
We embody Praise.

Psalm 8

1 O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth! 2 From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise because of your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger.
3 When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, 4 what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him? 5 You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor. 6 You made him ruler over the works of your hands; you put everything under his feet: 7 all flocks and herds, and the beasts of the field, 8 the birds of the air, and the fish of the sea, all that swim the paths of the seas. 9 O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!

Lamentations

Lamentations
3:20 My soul hath them still in remembrance, and is humbled in me.

21 This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. 22 It is of the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. 23 They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. 24 The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him. 25 The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him. 26 It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD. 27 It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth. 28 He sitteth alone and keepeth silence

Oh that quiet waiting, oh that sitteth-ing and keepeth-ing silence,

His Voice

'echoed in the walls of silence'

and our humbled souls find mercy and compassion.

I want to keep that with me all day, that place of silence, where I find Him first, before I jump to fix or decide or judge or

doubt...

Stop. Hear the sitar of His silence spelling out His constant faithfulness.

and then my tambourine will ring with hope in Him.

crumb

I found a crumb stuck between the pages in the binding of my library book,
oh in that tiny brushstroke,
I could be present in a Masterpiece bound together by Time...
flipping allowed by the fingers of my mind.
Past: did the eater enjoy that page and receive what I received from it?
Present: Joy and insight
Future: Would I leave it or remove this little crumb?
Or would I add crumbs of my own?

Harley ride

Awakened by a Harley's hum, purr of power...If you sleep on your roof deck these things happen!

It fills me, delights me and I jump out of my wool covers to lean over the balcony and there's Curtis corralling his baby into the garage.

Then my reality returns and
George Harrison's refrain 'Beware of Darkness' echos in my mind.

1 John 1:5 God is Light and there is no darkness in Him at all.

So I start fighting the darkness... images, words, looks, thoughts...

If I allow the darkness "the thoughts that often linger" to fill my mind, then I'm not seeing the
pervasive light of His constant Love.

Fighting darkness is not my job, only beware, be aware of it... then I will jump on the
leather seat of God's Love-Light Harley and hold on as the Purr of Power surrounds me
and fills me with Delight. Thank you my sweet Lord.

For you, Graduate (and me)

Ya know how I sit on my roof each morning waiting for dawn? Well, it means I get to hear one of my favorite sounds. The sound of a car door softy shutting in the silence of a new day.

That sound takes me back to early morning departures when all of us, kids (there are 5 of us, 7 including my parents) would pile in the white station wagon still half asleep and leave on an adventure.

We didn't always know where we were going or how long it would take to get there but we were nestled in together and once the sun rose there would be a beautiful view.

I guess I love that sound because it heralds Peace and Comfort in a journey to new places and adventures.

As we hear the car door of graduation closing softy this week, I wish for you the Peace and Comfort of knowing you are nestled into His Arms and He knows just where the road leads, and there will be a beautiful view.

I love you and I'm always ready to pile into the white station wagon with you or at least be waiting to hear all about the adventure!

Google Earth, me

Have you ever Google Earth searched? Oh man, it is fun! You can see your own house or house top or maybe, a friend's faraway. We love to search the houses of our past and the ones in our future.
I love to get lost on trails in the wilderness and Google Earth has given me a clear picture of where I was instead of where I thought I was!

Well, there is One who is constantly Google searching you and me. His Eyes can zoom in so tight that not only can He count the number of hairs on our heads but He knows the thoughts and intents of our hearts.

At the top of the list, His # 1 hit is Love. This One all seeing Searcher sees us, each individual one of us and LOVES us!

and that Love is so Abundant that He doesn't search us from afar but comes right into the Home of our hearts anytime we open the door. Rev. 3:20
Oh Lover of my Soul, search me out and see if there be any wrong intents of my heart and lead me in the way Everlasting.
Oh be my Home, past, present and future and be a Light to my path through every path and unknown wilderness.

My Youngest Son

I was thinking of keeping this post to myself but as I am listening to a video this beautiful son made as i write ...oh heck i think i just have show off his other side!

Oh what a night! A disappointment for a bunch of people, that felt like my fault, followed by an embarrassment, then a bit of bliss and expectation followed by more disappointment and even an angry exchange!
But I'm so glad it all happened...
My sweet son came to my rescue...he'd heard the angry exchange and amazingly in my home full of boys could see my side! A quiet knock on my bedroom door and in a moment, I was looking up into the eyes of my youngest son.
First, he wanted to listen to me...
listen to ME!
Then he had one little word of advice..."when I get angry at someone and I just want to get back at them, I think, they don't deserve that. It's not worth it and I just let it go."
Oh my sweet son, thank you.
Thank you for your softly knocking heart at the door of my mind.
I am so thankful for you.
Then we compared our heights in my mirror...yep, my 11 year old son's got 3 inches on me...
I was looking up into his eyes and listening to his heart and letting go and trusting in the Peaceful Poet who thought of such a beautiful Poem as my son.

Want some sugar?

Thanks so much for seeing me, Melvin.
Thank you for taking time in a bit of a crazy place to look at me and speak to my heart.
You recognized the Spirit that we share and encouraged, blessed, and promised me that
there's One with me through every circumstance....
then you thanked me for serving you and other homeless ones.
I see you, Melvin.
You see me, and
we are blessed.

2 Cor. 3:17 Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. 18 And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.

Deserve

I've heard that word a lot this week, like a reoccurring theme in my ears...'deserve.'

My heart has been pondering it, reaching out to touch the hem of it's garment.

Then today with my orange-chocolate frozen yogurt and my friend's heart reflecting mine, I saw it clearly.

Sitting in her car in the parking lot at Stretch's, I pictured a beautiful painting hanging on the cinder block wall. It was a masterpiece lovingly rendered by an expert artist. Then I imagined someone taking it down and tossing it into the dumpster. No, this painting didn't 'deserve' such treatment. It is a masterpiece, unique and priceless. No, not through any virtue of it's own but through the carefully placed strokes of the Master Artist.



I am that painting. I don't deserve to be shoved into the dustbin. I am His Workmanship, His poem and His work deserves beautiful treatment...

and you know what? You are too.

th tri-Universe and Friends I've never met...

Day unto day uttereth speech, and night unto night sheweth knowledge." Ps. 19:2



Feel them? The waves of Time, day by day, night by night.
Time carries so much. Like the vibrations through a pool of water, time bring us 'speech' and 'knowledge,' information and energy. Throughout our lives, these waves of time bring us information and energy from sources near and far...or as Ps. 19:1 says "the firmament sheweth His handiwork." This 'firmament, ' the space in which we 'live and move and have our being,' is continually being carried along by time and being moved by energy and information radiating to and from us in all directions....such a lovely Space, Time, Energy Universe we live in.



I woke up so late this morning that a mocking bird's song greeted me. Intricate sound vibrations entered my ears even through my light green ear plugs and carried me back through time to a place where my house was my backyard with a swing where I would sit and wonder at the mockingbird's song, trying to whistle it back.
The song hasn't changed much...those mocking bird great-great grandparents or something inside these little birds taught them that same song and I still can't quite whistle it. But the sound vibrations hit my ears calling me awake to heart-songs within.
Like waves of Light, my thoughts rejoiced in my friends, the friends I've never met.

I delighted in the friends I know and care for through the speech and knowledge of my closest friends...and ya know what? They know and care about me!
They love me and I love them through the heart knowledge of others. The vibrations of Love knowledge spreading out and connecting me to so many that I've never met.

Then I thought of all the writers and artists who touch my life, I know them intimately through their 'handiwork.' Oh beautiful 'firmament' that they are, their works traveling through time to show knowledge and truth.

That thought blossomed within me to people I know and who know me but I've never spoken to.

I like to go into art galleries and let the paintings speak to me until I find one that is calling. Then I take a little pad of paper and sketch. The last time I did this, that art museum guard, I've never spoken to, was ready. This gallery was a completely silent one, even the scratches of my pen seemed invasive in that place. He quietly walked up to me and handed me a much bigger sketch pad. This guardian of the art knew me. He'd seen me before and he blessed me without a word.
He could have watched me with an eye of mistrust and disdain..'Would she hurt my paintings with that pen?' But he chose to fill the space and time with energy waves of Love instead.

When I walk the beach and I see the back-hoe tractor approaching, instead of being annoyed by the distraction of sound and fumes, I watch the driver until he sees me, this friend of mine I've never met and we share a wave as we've done for years in perfect harmony and with a smile of recognition and Love.

Oh Creator, help us to be One with You today. May the firmament show forth your works
in me,
through me,
in you,
through you
and let us become One with Your beautiful
dance of Space, Time, and Energy!

Wait

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jP2nz6PG8KM

Here's the song that goes with the next post...
Homegirls and I were talking about how the dance we do to this song
is really off...during the 'wait' part we tap and gaze at our wrists as if we
were looking at our watches and wondering why Someone was so late.

It just doesn't fit with the definition of 'wait' that we discussed this morning...
Here's a quote from Tabitha, "Seems the Bible always ties waiting with Strength. We
might see waiting as weakness but God sees it as Strength!"

tzitzit

Isaiah 40:30 Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; 31 but those who wait upon the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

The fringe on a prayer shawl is bound together in a beautiful and complex way.
You know what's cool? The word used to describe this binding together of strings
to make a cord is 'quvah' and that same word means to 'wait.'

Oh the perfection and mystery wrapped up in His Word.

I see the tzitzit, the fringe reminding me of Creator's word that binds together and created all things. I see the tallit, the prayer shawl holding me close to Him and teaching me to 'wait' on Him. I feel His promise to those who 'wait' or 'bind together' with Him for 'renewed strength,' for 'wings like eagles, ' for the ability to smile and trust as life unfolds in ways we can't imagine.

Oh Lord, bind us together in You, even when it hurts and help us to trust that You are bringing us into Your heart's home.

fur lined nests

Bunny is shedding again. She has a train of white, furry, feathers following her frisky feet.
Oh those tufts of fluff are so lovely soft. I put them up in a basket by my window...Why?

Because His timing is Perfect...

Just at the time bunnies send fluffy clouds floating into the wind, birds are snatching them up as a lining for their nests. It's fun to watch little Santa bearded birdies winging from my basket.

Oh His timing is Perfect...

I once really disliked Ecc. 3... so decided so determined... maybe even predetermined...but now I find contentment and peace in these words.

Ecc. 3:1 Everything that happens in this world happens at the time God chooses. 2 He sets the time for birth and the time for death, the time for planting and the time for pulling up, 3 the time for killing and the time for healing, the time for tearing down and the time for building. 4 He sets the time for sorrow and the time for joy, the time for mourning and the time for dancing, 5 the time for making love and the time for not making love, the time for kissing and the time for not kissing. 6 He sets the time for finding and the time for losing, the time for saving and the time for throwing away, 7 the time for tearing and the time for mending, the time for silence and the time for talk. 8 He sets the time for love and the time for hate, the time for war and the time for peace.

Bunnies shed and birds line their nests and I observe and find pleasure in discovering yet another perfectly timed Everything in our big beautiful fur-lined nest.

Richard Feynman points this out in his book, The Pleasure of Finding Things Out. He remembers a lesson from his father, "We have been looking at how all these things grow; but for each bit of growth, there must be the same amount of decay, otherwise the materials would be consumed forever..."
What Feynman learned from these walks in the woods with his father was to look, to watch, and if you paid attention, you got a great reward from it, the reward of finding something out.

So notice what happens to the little tufts of fluff floating around you and you just may discover that His timing is Perfect...and see some happy birds and find contentment in trusting that Everything is Allright and time is unfolding in His Perfection.

You

You know Everything.
So I will wait for you.
And I will not be stingy with my affections,
And I will let You love through me.
I will be Your hallow bone,
Everywhere I go,
If You make me so.

1000 eyes

Oh for a thousand eyes to see...
I have a thousand eyes to see...

I had a dream where I, sort of, spread out, kind of like salt and pepper sprinkled
in a soupy world...that's when I got my extra eyes!

Like my brother saying, "Did you hear the tribble purring in the mining station in the movie?" I hadn't but I could now, "It was on the computer console!" Oh yes, there it was now and I texted another friend who was about to see the movie to watch for it. I gave him my eyes.

Or my friend, Rachel saying, "Music is a gift. Listen to this song now!" My heart-eyes open to her words and I see.

My son, shares with me why Fable 2 is so amazing to play. "It's like part of me goes into that world, like a Horcrux." Now I can see his passion and we're using language that helps me see through the eyes of J.K. Rowling.

Another friend sees right through my words and shows me what I really mean.

Or my heart-eyes see a friend's heart and I ask about his mother on the very day she passed away 25 years ago...

Maybe I have more than 1000 eyes.. maybe my eyes are limitless as salt in the ocean.
Oh so many eyes, your eyes are mine and my eyes are yours.

Rev. 4:6 And before the throne there was a sea of glass like unto crystal: and in the midst of the throne, and round about the throne, were four beasts full of eyes before and behind.

Roses and Honey

Did you know that wild roses have more intense scent than domesticated ones? I don't know for sure why that is but maybe it's out of necessity. Domesticated roses will get pollinated by a Gardener, they don't need to attract any bees or insects. Wild roses don't have a choice. They need those bugsy suitors.
Maybe that's what made the Shulamite woman in the Song of Solomon so lovely. She wasn't a pampered lady of the tents. She was out in the fields working with her brothers and had darkly tanned skin to prove it.
Perhaps this necessity, this 'suffering' made her lovely inside as well as out. She had a beautiful disposition, a lovely scent of peace.
I want to be like that wild rose. I want to give off an intoxicating scent to my Beloved.
If that means He needs to mold and shape me through the field of suffering, He will help me to endure and flourish.
I will trust Him. I will trust that through His work in me a beautiful Bounty of Honey will be harvested.

Earthworms at Disneyland

i know Someone who talks to an earthworm everyday.
This little earthworm tries to listen and she can't yet understand
much but she picks up on what's important.
Wormy knows intimately that SomeOne loves her,
that Everything is an amazing miracle,
and that her life is a gift.

She knows that whenever she waits for SomeOne and trusts Him
that He will work Everything together for good.

Sometimes like a long line at Disneyland, Wormy has to wiggle around
in the hot sun or in the rain.
But SomeOne has taught her to bring friends along to wait with and
always be sure there's cookies in her pockets.
SomeOne taught her all these things by becoming an Earthworm Himself.
and while He wiggled in line with the other worms, you could hear the best
earthworm talks ever!
Now He speaks to Wormy through the letters those wormies wrote
and especially He talks to her in her heart when she seeks a quiet wormhole
away from the the lines and popcorn smells and finds Him waiting to sing her
a song by the wishing well on the Bridge to Fantasyland.

Don't forget to find your favorite spot in this Disneyland of ours,
my wormy friends
and spend some quiet time there listening to the music
that SomeOne will speak to your heart.

Home

Near or far there u r...

& we r Home.

Distance & place cannot erase

Our heart beat of Home.

Bagels broiling,

Coffee boiling,

Laughter to share

with toil & care,

Anytime, Everywhere,

In U, i am Home.

The waves in the bay,

lap softly each day,,

and continue to say,,,

"We" is Home.

My Pen with the Little Cap for John G. and the Nightwatch

Oh, I have in my pocket a quill and parchment that will serve me in an instant.
This morning I am thinking of all the centuries of poets and artists who had no such servants.
Lost?
No, those poems and lines and paintings that filled their minds and hearts are not lost.
We will experience them,
dance to music sung once
at a sunset in ancient times
and heard by No One
but the artist and the Author of all sunsets.
Oh, we will dance to that song and gaze at that painting,
weep at those words never written down but not lost.
Heaven.

tea

My friend, Mat, woke up early and started to make himself some tea. But he didn't want to have tea alone. Who would be up this early on a Sunday? ....Cindy!...
I woke up early one Sunday and decided instead of watching the sunrise, I would work, not with a happy heart but with a sense of obligation and resentment.
Just as I began, there was a smiling face in my window, Matt and his 'magical tea pouch.'

Oh miracles happen everyday, just see them.

Sitting for hours, drinking tea from tiny cups (if you had a mug you could get up and walk away, Matt explained,) talking of the special minerals in the mud which comprised the tea pot. Trying to taste the earth, the 'adama' and leaves that were grown in it, in far-away China, where the stars were just coming out. Oh it was heaven on this earth of ours.

Matt explained how the tea effected the soil and the minerals in the soil effected the tea.

Oh I feel that... all these molecules I'm made of, all these bits of vibrating strings so connected such a part of Everything else.
We take a breathe it enters our lungs and blood and dreams. We taste a cookie and it has come from so many places and provides comfort and even a way to show love.
We share an idea or a thought and those become one with the hearer, our hearts touch.
Oh heaven, this beautiful home this One Universe....
in His tiny cup of tea...He never gets up and walks away, Creator sits sipping it with us and through us and in us.

The LORD our God, the LORD is one!" Moshe (Deuteronomy 6:4 )

I gotta ask Claire to make me some tiny cups :).

Less Disdain

'Less Disdain', treating others with less disdain. This has been a mantra for me the last couple of months. I want to have in my mind and heart a true respect when I speak to others about their ideas, opinions, and beliefs. I want to share mine the way Paul encourages us to:

Eph. 4:15 ....speaking the truth in love

and I want to listen in love as well.

Can people who have different ideas, and beliefs discuss and share these in love?
When I'm learning, growing, and seeking, the cool thing is, that the perfect situations arise and help will appear.

For example, I found by the 'truth in love' being spoken from a friend that sometimes I present my beliefs about cosmology and origins with some disdain.
Then a resource came into my life, an Intelligent Design organization whose stated goal is to
treat people who disagree with gentleness, respect, and love. They provide a forum where ID and evolution can be discussed in peace.

and I got to see how this works in a chat room a couple of days ago. I was writing about irreducible complexity and wanted the opposing viewpoint. I knew just where to go, a chat room where scientists hang out.
I soon had some great counter arguments to my ideas and had fun with people too.
At the end of our discussion, one scientiste said, "Hey, we both have our beliefs. Yours in a creator, ours in evolutionary theory. " Perfect! It was cool....truth in love.

Is there only One truth? Well, yeah, truth is true, but that doesn't mean our Omniscient and Omnipotent Creator can't bring ideas around in a beautiful design and paradox that you and I just can't see yet.
There's no swine only pearls, less disdain, that's the truth in love.

Letting Go

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hj4w2tJ6XYM

"Once they turn blue and pass out then they'll start to breathe again," I remembered reading that in my 'how to be a mommy' book.
There was Danny turning blue. I'd just taken a knife, held by the blade, from his 8 month old hands. He was so shocked at the lost of this shiny treasure that he held his breath until he passed out. I was ready to catch him. The tile floors in my Israeli flat were unforgiving.

Sure enough, just like the book had said, he started breathing again.

This scene came flooding into my mind tonight as I listened to Denis speak of a better way. Maybe this 16 year old kid should have written the book.
"If you want to get something from a child, say your car keys or something, you offer him a toy or an apple or something better."
Brilliant. Why hadn't I thought of that? It would have saved me from prying a knife blade out of the determined hands of my Danny.
But Denis went on, "That's what God does for us. He offers us something better, Himself, to hold on to and not only that but He holds on to us."
John, the youth director, tried to throw him off. "Well, sometimes, I hold on to God with one hand and try to hold on the something else with my other hand."

But Tabitha came to the rescue, "The hand holding on to Jesus will find Him so beautiful and fulfilling that the other will release its grasp, the other thing will just fade away."

Phil. 3:12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.

Hold on, let go of those shiny blades and hold on, heart, to the One who never fails.

'indescribable Something'

"The sense that in the universe we are treated as strangers, the longing to be acknowledged, to meet with some response, to bridge some chasm that yawns between us and reality, is part of our inconsolable secret.”

Oh Jack, Clive Staples Lewis, I feel it. That constant pull to be 'taken into the dance,' to be One with the Creator and join in that indescribable Something. Maybe that's what drives the artist and the scientist.

I draw the sunset and join the colors and warmth, I bridge the chasm and make it part of me and me part of it. Or a sparrow's song brings inspiration for a song from my heart, and we are One.
I discover for myself which stars my friend in Uruguay can see. I think I hear a meteor make sounds and discover that some really do produce vibrations that my ear can detect and I join Creator in the dance.

Let's open ourselves these holy days to the Bridge, to the One who holds the key to the Secret and would joyfully console us and make us strangers no longer.

1 Cor. 2:7 No, we speak of God's secret wisdom, a wisdom that has been hidden and that God destined for our glory before time began. 8 None of the rulers of this age understood it, for if they had, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory. 9 However, as it is written: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him"-- 10 but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God.

by your side

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBBOxnnaW74

this song goes with the last post...

Birkat Hachamah surgery

Birkat Hachamah , The Blessing of the Sun,

it only comes once every 28 years and this time

it came on the morning before Passover...

and on the morning of my surgery.

Oh lovely, lovely, and I had not a prayer shawl but a prayer pillow.

"Can I take this little pillow with me? My son made it."

"Cute, how old is he?'

"19"

"Even cuter! Yes, bring it."

and as the sun rose I got to put myself into His Hands and trust in the One who knows me best of all.

and this Passover I get to rest and let people love me and take care of me and they too are a blessing from Him. Like my little prayer pillow, and the sun, a blessing from God who is always watching over me.

roof song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8EndRfdVoc

Here's the song, Claire picked for us to jam on the star deck. Oh girl's worship band is fun.
New girls show up each time. So many percussionists. and I taught them to play tamborine.
Oh such beautiful girls.

Just to know you and be loved is enough.

discovery

I've been watching two planets rise every morning this week. Like heralds they come and reflect the approaching sun. Then I see them fade away swallowed up in his glory.

Which planets are they? One must be Venus, but the other not sure yet. Maybe tomorrow I'll take up binoculars and see if there's rings, or moons, or red... Saturn or Jupiter or Mars. I'm thinking probably Jupiter because of where he always is in the summer, I think he should be a morning star now. Oh, tomorrow, I won't see him. I'll be in pre-op.

Yes, I could just google and find out. Oh but this is so much more fun and interesting and will stay with me. Discovery is like food for deep learning. It's saying, "Oh!" a lot.

Be open to discover today, find the 'Oh' place in your heart, surround yourself with the ones who want to do more than just teach you, who want to discover with you. They are the true treasure, the amazing blessing, the gift of the All-Knowing One. and He's one of them. He could just tell us it all, plant all understanding in our little brains... oh, but where's the fun in that?
He created us to question, to seek, to find.

The more I seek, the more I find that I can seek, and the more I trust Him completely. It will be good today, we will listen to the Counselor, and He will give us counselors and it will all be alright.

Thank you for reading, I need you so much; someone to hear my heart-words, someone who reflects back my discoveries, someone who reminds me that SomeOne is listening too.

why I'm proud of my son

I'm proud of my son...
He dropped a class today. He was disappointed but he realized that it would be better than failing the class and that he could concentrate more on his other classes and his passions.

He has a sane estimate of his capabilities.

I'm proud of my son..
because he's honest with me and asks my advice and he listens, really listens and then he makes his own decision.

I'm proud of my son...
because he values actions over accolades.
He sees that getting 'credit' for doing something isn't the reward, it's in the doing.

I'm proud of my son...
because he loves, really loves his friends, his family, the kids, he ministers to, his band members, even people he doesn't really know. He's a giving leader, he takes his commitments as commitments, and sees people as more important than grades or which college he goes to.
I love the way, he cares for his siblings and me and well, everyone.
He laughs a lot and shares his joy. He blesses my soul.

Thank you, God for my son. Let Him feel Your Love today, deep down and all around. Amen.

only the beginning....

After church, Danny said he was proud of me. Nice feeling, nice words.
Half way through his sermon, Pastor David said, "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of .....Cindy?" and he dramatically pointed at me. Oh he knew i knew, doesn't everyone know, I guess maybe not... Danny didn't.

"Wisdom," I answered not missing a beat. I think Pastor David likes having me there. I listen with everything I've got. I react, I answer, I invest myself in the moment. Once I stuck my hand out for the apple he was using as an illustration, I hadn't had time for dinner and I knew God meant it for me. I got it too.

That verse of Solomon's... the beginning of wisdom, the beginning, it's a place to start, I guess, fearing God. People try to say that doesn't really mean 'fear' but like 'awe' or 'respect' or something. Well, it feels the same to me. Wisdom begins with the realization of how amazing, powerful, pure and holy God is and I'm not. This is where the 'fear' word works. God is all those things and I am not. I am so far from any of those things. I have no hope of attaining any of those things without Him, there's no more room for pride in ourselves.
Pr 11:2
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.
Pr 15:33
The fear of the Lord teaches a man wisdom, and humility comes before honor.

The fear of God points out our need and God's perfection and our complete inability. Once that humble realization is reached we can go on with knowing God which is really what wisdom is all about.
So if fear is the beginning of wisdom where do we go from there?

One of the homegirls said today, "It's the difference of having to do something and wanting to do something. If I help my mom because I love her and want to, it's different and feels better than having to do it 'cause she's making me."


Yeah, it is! Way different. The whole situation and relationship changes with the heart change.
Wisdom isn't really about 'fear'ing God! It's about being fearful enough of God to get humble enough that we see ourselves clearly in the light of His All-Encompassing Love. And then, oh and then, we can ask Him...just ask Him! Check it!!

James 1:5
If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.


Did you get that? If you really got that you should be choking up a little bit, which reminds me of the time, I just started weeping during P.Diddie's sermon (that's what Danny calls Pastor David:)
but don't call him that he hates it. Don't worry he never reads my blog.

Anyways, 'Without finding fault!' oh baby...God is so not out to get us. He's just waiting for us to let Him love us. Pride and self-satisfaction get in the way of Him giving us wisdom, love, anything, except for maybe physical blessings. I think fear of the Lord can help remove that wall to God's love and the wisdom of knowing Him intimately. But like the homey-g's say, 'it can't stop there at fear.' We need to keep on in our relationship with the Creator.
Here's Paul's take on it: Col.2:
2 My purpose is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ, 3 in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.

Our Messiah, Jesus the One who gave all for us, who holds all the treasure of wisdom, is just waiting for our hearts to be humble enough to seek after Him. Let's find our way to that next step beyond fear, beyond the 'have to's. Let's press on to know Him as Hosea says, 'Press on to know the Lord of heaven and earth, don't ya just 'want to?'

Worship

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7z89G8nawyA
Notes for teaching...on Worship

I love where we ended last week...

Hebrews 11:21
By faith Jacob, when he was dying, blessed each of Joseph's sons, and worshiped as he leaned on the top of his staff.

I think this verse is perfect for a study on worship.

What is this thing we call 'worship?' We call our bands, 'Worship' bands... we call our gatherings, 'worship services'... and when we sing together we sing 'worship' songs!

but do we even know what worship is!?
Is it singing? dancing? making sacrifices? making music? Praying? Serving?

I think all of these encompass what 'worship' can look like. But actual worship goes deeper. It's about the heart. It's about what's going on inside the worshiper.

'By faith' this verse says about Jacob. Faith this gift of God given to our hearts. Belief in One unseen, unprovable by fleshly means, without which it is impossible to please God.
This faith is the first element needed in worship that comes from the heart.

and the next part of the verse gives us a hint as to where this faith comes from...
'when he was dying.' True worship comes not of ourselves, no, it comes from dying to ourselves and giving ourselves over to the Spirit.
It's getting our eyes, the eyes of our hearts, off ourselves and onto Spirit.

next Jacob blesses others... Worship is about seeking good for others. Once we have the trust and faith in God, once we have died to ourselves and gotten our eyes on and filled with Spirit; we are free to 'bless' others. Ours hearts can lift them up to this amazing One, who is utterly to be trusted and is so worthy of all praise and glory. Oh it's a beautiful thing!

The verse ends with 'and leaned on top of his staff.' True worship throws us into the arms of the One being worshipped. We trust, bless and give ourselves completely to worship of this Beloved, All Lovely One.

Oh I want to worship like that today! Alone or in the assembly, let's keep this verse about Jacob in our hearts as we seek His face!

Leaning

My notes for teaching last week:



Who are you leaning on?



Our friend and Patriarch, Jacob spend a long time leaning on and relying on himself.



Jacob had been given promises before his birth. I'm sure he heard them at his mother's knee,

'The younger will serve the older..' His twin, brother Esau undoubtedly heard them too.

But he was older therefore the birthright and blessings of his father, Issac would be his....



But Jacob had no problem tricking Esau. Esau was a hunter, hairy and tough while Jacob was a man who stuck 'close to the tents.' Esau came home from hunting famished and Jacob had some lovely stew a cookin... The smell seized this hairy man of the wilderness, 'Give me some lest I die!'

Let's talk for a minute about Jacob's name.( I asked our Jacob to answer and he did great:) Jacob means heel catcher or trickster, supplanter and this guy knew how to make a deal. Jacob was very good at leaning on his own strengths to make things happen. Instead of waitng to see how God would bring about the promise given to him before birth, he chose to trick his brother.



'Give me your birthright, I'll give you some stew.' He must have really been hungry because Esau took the deal. and Jacob made an enemy.



and he wasn't done yet. Now Jacob wanted the blessing and he wasn't willing to wait and see how God would bring it to him. Jacob had been promised this blessing, he could have chosen to lean on God to bring it about instead, he tricked both his father and his brother. Instead of trusting God, he put on a hairy coat, told his blind father that he was Esau and received Esau's blessing.

This time the strong hunter, Esau wanted one thing; to kill Jacob.

Jacob fled his father's tents. He self-reliance and lack of trust in God cost him everything.

Gen. 32:10 says he 'carried' with only his staff. (Here I held up a staff and kept kind of holding it up till the end, I figure then maybe someone will remember what I taught for a bit :) Did you get that? he 'carried' his staff.



Now Jacob was alone and he spent the night on a mountaintop with a rock for a pillow. I've been to this area of Israel and I'm just sure it was a cloudless night and Jacob fell asleep looking at the uncountable stars. It amazes me that Jacob thoughts didn't turn to God. He knew the prophecy given to his grandfather, Abraham that his descendants would outnumber the stars. God even gave him a dream that echoed this prophecy;



Gen. 28:14 Your descendants will be like the dust of the earth, and you will spread out to the west and to the east, to the north and to the south. All peoples on earth will be blessed through you and your offspring. 15 I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you."



Wow! Despite his lack of leaning on and relying on God, God promises to bless Jacob. "I am with you, I will not leave you, I will do what I have promised" says God to Jacob.



How do I know that Jacob fell asleep feeling far from God? Because what his response to God was:

Gen. 28:16 When Jacob awoke from his sleep, he thought, "Surely the Lord is in this place, and I was not aware of it."

But surely now he would trust God and lean on this amazing promise...nope!

Gen. 28:20 Then Jacob made a vow, saying, "If God will be with me and will watch over me on this journey I am taking and will give me food to eat and clothes to wear 21 so that I return safely to my father's house, then the Lord will be my God 22 and this stone that I have set up as a pillar will be God's house, and of all that you give me I will give you a tenth."



Oh Jacob, still 'carries' the staff, still relying on self, still the 'heel-catcher' who must make deals and make things happen. God had made a promise to Jacob and all God wanted was for Jacob to believe it. That's it. ....'If' Jacob says...oh Jacob 'if?'



Well, Jacob's about to meet his match in deal making. Years before his mother, Rebbecca had been given to Abraham's servant by her brother Laban. Laban had seen the faith and trust of his servant and had given his sister as a bride for Issac.

Gen.24:50 Laban and Bethuel answered, "This is from the Lord; we can say nothing to you one way or the other. 51 Here is Rebekah; take her and go,

Take her and go! That is some deal! Wow!

Jacob surely knew this story but he kept carrying that staff, kept leaning on not on God but on himself and his abilities.

Look at the crazy deal he makes with Laban for his daughter, Rachel...

Gen.29:18
Jacob was in love with Rachel and said, "I'll work for you seven years in return for your younger daughter Rachel."

Oh Ya'acob! Why not lean on God? He ends up being tricked by Laban and continues making deals with Laban until he leaves decades later with yet another deal!

Jacob decides to return to to his father's home and oh! he is so worried about Esau! Esau had promised to kill Jacob after their father's death and both of their parents were gone.

God sees his fear and tries once again to get Jacob to trust and lean on the Creator, the One who had promised so much without demanding anything, this Father of the stars who gave Jacob visions of descendant like the stars. Look what God does for this son of His who is still going 'his way!'

Gen. 32:1 Jacob also went on his way, and the angels of God met him.
Angels met him!
and what's Jacob's reaction: plans to pacify his brother, prayers to remind God of His promise.
No trust, no faith in God's action.
Hey, the prayer is a good idea. I think prayer is for us, to get in our heads that our hands are too small, we can't carry our own staff, we need to rely on the Father of Lights.
But Jacob's prayer doesn't have this result in Jacob's heart. (big surprise, not!)

Gen. 32:11 Save me, I pray, from the hand of my brother Esau, for I am afraid he will come and attack me, and also the mothers with their children. 12 But you have said, 'I will surely make you prosper and will make your descendants like the sand of the sea, which cannot be counted.'"

Jacob remembers God's promise but doesn't trust it...He immediately starts planning gifts to give to Esau... deals, deals, plans, and self-reliance...
Then like that night on the mountain top when all he carried was his staff, Jacob spends the night alone; and again he is not alone!

Gen. 32:24 So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak.

This time,God actually wrestles with his non-trusting child. This not just a 'man' Jacob is fighting against but God, Himself.
Now what about us? How many times does our self-leaning cause us to 'wrestle ' with God instead of trusting Him?
This scene of Jacob's struggle always makes me think of another child of God...a little woman who was probably in her late twenties but maybe not. She had been bleeding for 12 years, which made her a bit of an outcast in Israel. Unlike Jacob, she reaches out to God in faith, she doesn't wrestle with Him, no, she had one thing on her mind 'if I can just touch the edge of Jesus' cloak, I will be healed. '
Which one are we doing today? Reaching out to wrestle with God, relying on our own strengths or reaching out just to touch 'the edge of His cloak?'
Luke 8:48
Then he said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace."

Oh what a contrast to Jacob's struggle...

Gen32:25 When the man saw that he could not overpower him,

(God couldn't overpower Jacob? What is this talking about?)

(Garret, what's the strongest part or muscle in our bodies?) (I was right, he said thigh and gave a description:)
Well, God had to help Jacob, He had not yet 'overpowered' Jacob's self-leaning so...

Gen.32:25b He touched the socket of Jacob's hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man.

Jacob would have to lean upon his staff for the rest of his life but, oh my!..Jacob is still making deals!

26 Then the man said, "Let me go, for it is daybreak." But Jacob replied, "I will not let you go unless you bless me."
Oh Ya'acob!

Gen. 32: 28 Then the man said, "Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with men and have overcome." 29 Jacob said, "Please tell me your name." But he replied, "Why do you ask my name?" Then he blessed him there.
God blesses Jacob and Jacob realizes he has been wrestling with God!
30 So Jacob called the place Peniel, saying, "It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared."
Then at last, Jacob is no longer carrying his staff, he is leaning on it:
31 The sun rose above him as he passed Peniel, and he was limping because of his hip.

Well, Esau doesn't kill Jacob, in fact he doesn't even want Jacob's gifts, he only wanted to see his brother. Jacob has 12 sons who become the 12 tribes of (this new name of his) Israel...
and the prophecies concerning Jacob are fulfilled, not through Jacob struggling and self reliance but through the gift of God.

Paul has some amazing insight into what happens:
Paul is writing a letter to the Galatians. They are believers in the free gift of Life in Messiah, Jesus but they have fallen back to their own strength. They have started relying on keeping the Law for their salvation again.

Gal. 3:1 You foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you? Before your very eyes Jesus Christ was clearly portrayed as crucified. 2 I would like to learn just one thing from you: Did you receive the Spirit by observing the law, or by believing what you heard? 3 Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort? 4 Have you suffered so much for nothing--if it really was for nothing? 5 Does God give you his Spirit and work miracles among you because you observe the law, or because you believe what you heard?
6 Consider Abraham: "He believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness."

Ya gotta love Paul! He tells it like it is!
He reminds them that the promise given to Abraham was given before the Law was given! 430 years before! The promises of God do not depend on the keeping of the Law! He reminds them of that same promise given to Jacob under the stars on the mountain top:

Gal.3:16 The promises were spoken to Abraham and to his seed. The Scripture does not say "and to seeds," meaning many people, but "and to your seed," meaning one person, who is Christ.

Did you get that? The promise is because of this Seed of Abraham, this One Person who is the Messiah, who is the One we can lean on ...the One who like that little woman only requires us to reach out and 'touch the edge of His cloak'... oh just that little bit of faith.

Gal. 3:22 But the Scripture declares that the whole world is a prisoner of sin, so that what was promised, being given through faith in Jesus Christ, might be given to those who believe. 23 Before this faith came, we were held prisoners by the law, locked up until faith should be revealed. 24 So the law was put in charge to lead us to Christ that we might be justified by faith. 25 Now that faith has come, we are no longer under the supervision of the law. 26 You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, 27 for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. 28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. 29 If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham's seed, and heirs according to the promise.

Reach out like the woman or wrestle like Jacob but make Him the One you lean on!
and what happened to Jacob?
Oh the writer of Hebrews (probably Paul) reveals that to us...

Hebrews 11:21
By faith Jacob, when he was dying, blessed each of Joseph's sons, and worshiped as he leaned on the top of his staff.

Oh 'By Faith!' Oh 'worshiped as he leaned' oh i am so happy!

frustration

http://technorati.com/videos/youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DH3iSiij98VY

Here's some nice music about wheat that will calm us down if we are frustrated :). (Notice the pretty frets, but don't fret...I would show you a thing.)

Can you think of a time when Jesus was Frustrated? (yes, with a capital F.)
Okay picture it: Jesus is going on a nice boat ride with his 12 disciples, his main guys. He mentions to them,"Be on your guard against the the yeast of the Super Religious People."

It so happened on that nice boat ride day, the 12 guys had forgotten to bring bread and they thought Jesus was giving them a big hint about their mistake. They probably started blaming each other and being bummed.

Then Jesus figures out what they are discussing and gets majorly frustrated with them.

I kind of get why. Sometimes I get exasperated when I realize that people have no clue even about the simplest things of the Bible. And man, lots of people have a good reason not to know anything about the Biblical Holidays or the gospels or the things in Hebrews 6 (just read it).

But Jesus' disciples were being silly. They had just seen Jesus feed 5000 people with 5 loaves of bread. Guys! He's not worried about there not being any picnic lunch. Also these disciples grew up celebrating the Passover every year. I'm sure their moms diligently did their Passover cleaning to remove the house of all dust and dirt just in case it might have the tiniest bit of yeast in it. One of the main themes of Passover is removing the yeast which they had to have known is a symbol of sin. (Hey, Gabe knows it, I asked him today while he ate his pancakes.) (Micah found a long red hair in his and said they weren't cooked enough, frustration? no I'm laughing:).

Anyways, at the end of the story in Mat. 16:5-12, Jesus tells them, "Guys, I meant the teaching of the Super Religious People, which is really just a lot of dead works." (That's my translation.)

Those Super Religious People (Pharisees and Sadducees) taught, "Ya gotta be good. Ya gotta keep the Law. Ya gotta know everything about the Torah (that last one was for me:)"

Jesus was teaching something else. You can't be good, you can't keep the Law, you can't even know very much at all about the Word. He was teaching, "You, my friends, need Me."

So let's let all those little frustrations go. Whether they are with ourselves for dropping hair in the pancakes or with others for complaining about the way they are cooked. Let's keep on loving the way Jesus did and you know what? He will help us and love through us and everything will be alright.

Chapter on Passover coming soon so you can start your cleaning. :)

Unconditional Love

Is there any other kind?
I don't know but probably not.
Ever heard, "Love means never having to say you're sorry?"
I think that means that if you love someone, you still love them even if they don't say, "sorry."
Love really is amazing, love goes beyond the actions or inactions of the beloved one.
Love has to do with trust, utter and complete trust but not necessarily in the one loved but in the One who is Love.

From 1 Cor. 13 Living Translation
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

If you love someone, you will always expect the best from them, always stand your ground in defending them, you'll always believe in them. (That doesn't mean no mistakes will be made. Hey, we are people and guess what? we make mistakes...)

Love hopes all things, endures all things, believes all things.

One day all the special gifts from God will come to an end but these three will remain;
faith, hope, and love, and the greatest of these is love.

Did you get that last part? It's a gift from God. I don't think love, real love happens without God. So when someone loves you, when you love someone with that love, that's a gift from God, there's no stopping it. It doesn't end.
I heard Brain Green say once that there's some formula that holds the secret meaning of the Universe and he said maybe it's Love. Yep, Brian Greene said it and I betcha it's true.
All we need is Love, this all encompassing, ever enduring, completely trustworthy Love.

Aren't you married?

Prov.5:18 May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. 19 A loving doe, a graceful deer-- may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love.

Captivated? After 25 years of marriage and almost 50 years traveling around our beautiful star? Since I found my breast lump, I've discovered how many people take it for granted that being beautiful and captivating is not required of married people, especially older married people, especially happily married older people.
Even the surgeon today asked a surprised,"Aren't you married?" when I showed concern over how I would look. How big will the scar be? Will I look out of balance?
I don't get it. Why wouldn't I want to look awesome for the man I married no matter how many years ago it was? Not to mention for myself!
Okay so, can I tie this in to a Bible study? No problemos, baby...

Rev.2:4 Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love.
Return to your first Love.
Remember that feeling of falling in love, if you're anywhere from 11 to 111, I'll bet you do!
That's how it felt when we first fell in Love with the Creator of Love, when we first came to know and realize that He loves us and time spent with Him was the highlight of the day.
Have you let that time go for other things, do you prefer the light of your TV to the Light of Life?
Or maybe you've never really understood about God, never really fallen in love with Him.
Well, get this...He sees us as a spouse, as His beloved, as his true love...
Isa 61:10
I delight greatly in the Lord; my soul rejoices in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.
He is captivated with us! and you know what our response is? to be captivating to Him. I think God created marriage as a mirror of His Love for us. Our delight in our spouse and our desire to delight our spouse doesn't end because we've been at it for years! It's a beautiful song, a painting in real life of God's love for us.
So next time someone says to me, "But aren't you married?" I think I'll answer, "Yes, and I want to be captivating for my beloved!"

'The Infinite and Penitent begin to look like Home'

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g_Fj7wbc3Zc

As unlikely as a guitar that arrives perfectly in tune
or
looking up and seeing a jet stream cross, covering Everything
or
as friends that live steps away from each other but one didn't know it...
this is our Salvation.



There's nothing to add to this instrument of self-sacrifice and Love.
The music has been executed perfectly and we can do nothing but accept
this gift, rejoicing in the beauty and completeness.

His embrace crosses the heavens and fills us with overflowing Love.
Closer than can be imagined, He's there waiting, loving, utterly patient and kind,
Our Best Friend, our Perfect Song,
ready to include each of us in His dance across the Sky of Infinite Love.

Red Bird

I close my eyes and she flys and finds her place
A nest, built just so, among the pillars
Made of reeds, bruised and bent but never broken
and one Branch, rejected by the builders but perfect
For her nest, stained and full of almond blossoms,
Red Bird's nest built by Him among the pillars.

I Will Not Be Silent..David Crowder Band

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxL06UnPfDE

try this one out in the Throne Room :)

I will not be Silent

"If God is Omniscient and Omnipotent then He makes everything happen, we have no free choice, no free will therefore the concept of god doesn't make sense."
It was my eight grade English class I think they call it humanities now.
The the teacher went on, "Can anyone tell me why they would still believe in god?"
He was supposed to be teaching us about those words, omniscient and omnipotent but he was giving us more of a lesson than that.
Now I had a choice to make...
Do I speak up or stay quiet?
Did I even have an answer to this very confrontational guy's question?

That's what I want us to think about today. Do we speak up or do we remain silent?

There's a Jewish/biblical holiday that just past called Purim. It's great. We celebrate the bravery of a young beautiful girl who was probably not much older than you, guys.
She had a choice to make.
She was living in luxury in a palace in fact she was the queen ....
no one knew she was also a Jew and in a few days her people would be annihilated.
That's a good SAT word anyone know what it means?
Wiped out and done now...bye,bye!
She could speak up and go to the King and tell him that she too was a Jew and plead for her people or she could stay safe and sound and quiet.
Her uncle Mordecai (the only one who knew her heritage) gave her the choice
Es 4:14
For if thou altogether holdest thy peace at this time, then shall there enlargement and deliverance arise to the Jews from another place; but thou and thy father's house shall be destroyed: and who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this?
Es 4:14
For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?"

The problem was she hadn't even seen the King in over a month and to enter the throne room was dangerous for Esther. If the King raised his scepter to her, she would live, if not immediate death for little Esther.
What would she do? Speak or stay silent?
What's cool is that she had time, she got all her people to pray for her and with her and on the third day is went into the throne room and let's just say there was a happy ending but I guess you guys already know that 'cause if there wasn't and all the Jews had been wiped out we wouldn't have Jesus or an Bible and we wouldn't be sitting here right now!!!
Okay so, girlfriend, took time to pray and had other people pray too. Awesome.
Our next example is a young guy Bar Mitzvah age, he went to the temple with his family for Passover and he did a strange thing that on the surface looks wrong.
He ditched his 'rents!
They headed on home to Nazareth and this guy exactly your age stayed!
He hung out in the temple questioning and answering the questions of the elder's there!

Luke 2:46 After three days they found him in the temple courts, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. 47 Everyone who heard him was amazed at his understanding and his answers. 48 When his parents saw him, they were astonished. His mother said to him, "Son, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for you." 49 "Why were you searching for me?" he asked. "Didn't you know I had to be in my Father's house?" 50 But they did not understand what he was saying to them. 51 Then he went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them. But his mother treasured all these things in her heart. 52 And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.

After 3 days, his parents find Him and they are freaked! He made a choice like Esther to speak up. Why? He had to" be about my Father's business? " (King James version)
He had a purpose for life even at that young age of 12... God!
Did you notice that both happened after three days?

Let's look at another example:

Acts 23:12-35
12 The next morning the Jews formed a conspiracy and bound themselves with an oath not to eat or drink until they had killed Paul. 13 More than forty men were involved in this plot. 14 They went to the chief priests and elders and said, "We have taken a solemn oath not to eat anything until we have killed Paul. 15 Now then, you and the Sanhedrin petition the commander to bring him before you on the pretext of wanting more accurate information about his case. We are ready to kill him before he gets here." 16 But when the son of Paul's sister heard of this plot, he went into the barracks and told Paul. 17 Then Paul called one of the centurions and said, "Take this young man to the commander; he has something to tell him." 18 So he took him to the commander. The centurion said, "Paul, the prisoner, sent for me and asked me to bring this young man to you because he has something to tell you." 19 The commander took the young man by the hand, drew him aside and asked, "What is it you want to tell me?" 20 He said: "The Jews have agreed to ask you to bring Paul before the Sanhedrin tomorrow on the pretext of wanting more accurate information about him. 21 Don't give in to them, because more than forty of them are waiting in ambush for him. They have taken an oath not to eat or drink until they have killed him. They are ready now, waiting for your consent to their request." 22 The commander dismissed the young man and cautioned him, "Don't tell anyone that you have reported this to me." 23 Then he called two of his centurions and ordered them, "Get ready a detachment of two hundred soldiers, seventy horsemen and two hundred spearmen to go to Caesarea at nine tonight. 24 Provide mounts for Paul so that he may be taken safely to Governor Felix." 25 He wrote a letter as follows: 26 Claudius Lysias, 26 To His Excellency, Governor Felix: 26 Greetings. 27 This man was seized by the Jews and they were about to kill him, but I came with my troops and rescued him, for I had learned that he is a Roman citizen. 28 I wanted to know why they were accusing him, so I brought him to their Sanhedrin. 29 I found that the accusation had to do with questions about their law, but there was no charge against him that deserved death or imprisonment. 30 When I was informed of a plot to be carried out against the man, I sent him to you at once. I also ordered his accusers to present to you their case against him. 31 So the soldiers, carrying out their orders, took Paul with them during the night and brought him as far as Antipatris. 32 The next day they let the cavalry go on with him, while they returned to the barracks. 33 When the cavalry arrived in Caesarea, they delivered the letter to the governor and handed Paul over to him..

This young man had sort of a secret spy job to do. He bravely spoke up and then had to act like everything was normal and keep silent.

So sometimes we really got to know whether to speak or not and he did a smart thing, he asked his uncle Paul what to do (can you imagine having Paul be your uncle, whoa! that would be a trip). When a new governor finally arrived guess how many days it took for him to see Paul in the court?
Acts 25:1 Three days after arriving in the province, Festus went up from Caesarea to Jerusalem, 2 where the chief priests and Jewish leaders appeared before him and presented the charges against Paul. 3 They urgently requested Festus, as a favor to them, to have Paul transferred to Jerusalem, for they were preparing an ambush to kill him along the way.

How do we know what to do and when to do it?
Let's turn to Hebrews 4:15-16
15.For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are--yet was without sin.
4:16
Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

This is so cool, like Esther we can approach the throne room of our great King, God, and you know why? but without any fear...
Because of Jesus. He came and as we saw He had to make hard choices, you know what He did after his parents found him in the temple, he went back to Nazareth that little hick town and obeyed them. He could have stayed amazing elders in the center of the Jewish world, the temple, He could have really been the Super Cool Super smart guy, a rock star but he submitted to his parents and did what they said!
Let's read that verse 15 again:

hebrews 4:15
For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are--yet was without sin.

That's talking about Jesus who lived a perfectly sinless life here and he felt just like you feel sometimes but He never slipped up, He was without sin. He faced every temptation and He paid for out sins on the cross and on the third day, He arose, He resurrected, He came alive again.
Because of that we can verse 16

4:16 Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Like Esther we can walk into the courts of the King and our King is God himself and He really gets you! He had to obey his parents and live here on this earth and face the same kinds of challenges you have to face.
So what does that mean for us?
Like that song we were singing this morning by David Crowder Band..
"I will not be silent.."
We ask Him to help us, we ask others to pray for us and help us, we read and study and be ready when we are asked to answer a teacher or even a king and like Jesus said when he was just 12 years old we stay in our Father's house and be about His business!

Okay so what did I do that day in class?
I prayed a quick prayer and I did not keep silent.
I told that old teacher that
because God knows everything (omniscient)
and is all powerful (omnipotent) He can see the beginning and end and He can make sure Everything works out for good but He can also let us make our own choices.
and yes I still believe in God.
I don't know what happened but that guy stopped it. He didn't hit on that subject again.
He didn't argue with me. He just went on to something else and all those kids in that class got to hear a little something about God.
So remember spend time in the throne room with God! He's just waiting for you and He so 'gets' you! and who knows if you will be used like Uncle Mordacai said "for such a time as this!"