Home

Near or far there u r...

& we r Home.

Distance & place cannot erase

Our heart beat of Home.

Bagels broiling,

Coffee boiling,

Laughter to share

with toil & care,

Anytime, Everywhere,

In U, i am Home.

The waves in the bay,

lap softly each day,,

and continue to say,,,

"We" is Home.

My Pen with the Little Cap for John G. and the Nightwatch

Oh, I have in my pocket a quill and parchment that will serve me in an instant.
This morning I am thinking of all the centuries of poets and artists who had no such servants.
Lost?
No, those poems and lines and paintings that filled their minds and hearts are not lost.
We will experience them,
dance to music sung once
at a sunset in ancient times
and heard by No One
but the artist and the Author of all sunsets.
Oh, we will dance to that song and gaze at that painting,
weep at those words never written down but not lost.
Heaven.

tea

My friend, Mat, woke up early and started to make himself some tea. But he didn't want to have tea alone. Who would be up this early on a Sunday? ....Cindy!...
I woke up early one Sunday and decided instead of watching the sunrise, I would work, not with a happy heart but with a sense of obligation and resentment.
Just as I began, there was a smiling face in my window, Matt and his 'magical tea pouch.'

Oh miracles happen everyday, just see them.

Sitting for hours, drinking tea from tiny cups (if you had a mug you could get up and walk away, Matt explained,) talking of the special minerals in the mud which comprised the tea pot. Trying to taste the earth, the 'adama' and leaves that were grown in it, in far-away China, where the stars were just coming out. Oh it was heaven on this earth of ours.

Matt explained how the tea effected the soil and the minerals in the soil effected the tea.

Oh I feel that... all these molecules I'm made of, all these bits of vibrating strings so connected such a part of Everything else.
We take a breathe it enters our lungs and blood and dreams. We taste a cookie and it has come from so many places and provides comfort and even a way to show love.
We share an idea or a thought and those become one with the hearer, our hearts touch.
Oh heaven, this beautiful home this One Universe....
in His tiny cup of tea...He never gets up and walks away, Creator sits sipping it with us and through us and in us.

The LORD our God, the LORD is one!" Moshe (Deuteronomy 6:4 )

I gotta ask Claire to make me some tiny cups :).

Less Disdain

'Less Disdain', treating others with less disdain. This has been a mantra for me the last couple of months. I want to have in my mind and heart a true respect when I speak to others about their ideas, opinions, and beliefs. I want to share mine the way Paul encourages us to:

Eph. 4:15 ....speaking the truth in love

and I want to listen in love as well.

Can people who have different ideas, and beliefs discuss and share these in love?
When I'm learning, growing, and seeking, the cool thing is, that the perfect situations arise and help will appear.

For example, I found by the 'truth in love' being spoken from a friend that sometimes I present my beliefs about cosmology and origins with some disdain.
Then a resource came into my life, an Intelligent Design organization whose stated goal is to
treat people who disagree with gentleness, respect, and love. They provide a forum where ID and evolution can be discussed in peace.

and I got to see how this works in a chat room a couple of days ago. I was writing about irreducible complexity and wanted the opposing viewpoint. I knew just where to go, a chat room where scientists hang out.
I soon had some great counter arguments to my ideas and had fun with people too.
At the end of our discussion, one scientiste said, "Hey, we both have our beliefs. Yours in a creator, ours in evolutionary theory. " Perfect! It was cool....truth in love.

Is there only One truth? Well, yeah, truth is true, but that doesn't mean our Omniscient and Omnipotent Creator can't bring ideas around in a beautiful design and paradox that you and I just can't see yet.
There's no swine only pearls, less disdain, that's the truth in love.

Letting Go

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hj4w2tJ6XYM

"Once they turn blue and pass out then they'll start to breathe again," I remembered reading that in my 'how to be a mommy' book.
There was Danny turning blue. I'd just taken a knife, held by the blade, from his 8 month old hands. He was so shocked at the lost of this shiny treasure that he held his breath until he passed out. I was ready to catch him. The tile floors in my Israeli flat were unforgiving.

Sure enough, just like the book had said, he started breathing again.

This scene came flooding into my mind tonight as I listened to Denis speak of a better way. Maybe this 16 year old kid should have written the book.
"If you want to get something from a child, say your car keys or something, you offer him a toy or an apple or something better."
Brilliant. Why hadn't I thought of that? It would have saved me from prying a knife blade out of the determined hands of my Danny.
But Denis went on, "That's what God does for us. He offers us something better, Himself, to hold on to and not only that but He holds on to us."
John, the youth director, tried to throw him off. "Well, sometimes, I hold on to God with one hand and try to hold on the something else with my other hand."

But Tabitha came to the rescue, "The hand holding on to Jesus will find Him so beautiful and fulfilling that the other will release its grasp, the other thing will just fade away."

Phil. 3:12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.

Hold on, let go of those shiny blades and hold on, heart, to the One who never fails.

'indescribable Something'

"The sense that in the universe we are treated as strangers, the longing to be acknowledged, to meet with some response, to bridge some chasm that yawns between us and reality, is part of our inconsolable secret.”

Oh Jack, Clive Staples Lewis, I feel it. That constant pull to be 'taken into the dance,' to be One with the Creator and join in that indescribable Something. Maybe that's what drives the artist and the scientist.

I draw the sunset and join the colors and warmth, I bridge the chasm and make it part of me and me part of it. Or a sparrow's song brings inspiration for a song from my heart, and we are One.
I discover for myself which stars my friend in Uruguay can see. I think I hear a meteor make sounds and discover that some really do produce vibrations that my ear can detect and I join Creator in the dance.

Let's open ourselves these holy days to the Bridge, to the One who holds the key to the Secret and would joyfully console us and make us strangers no longer.

1 Cor. 2:7 No, we speak of God's secret wisdom, a wisdom that has been hidden and that God destined for our glory before time began. 8 None of the rulers of this age understood it, for if they had, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory. 9 However, as it is written: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him"-- 10 but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God.

by your side

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBBOxnnaW74

this song goes with the last post...

Birkat Hachamah surgery

Birkat Hachamah , The Blessing of the Sun,

it only comes once every 28 years and this time

it came on the morning before Passover...

and on the morning of my surgery.

Oh lovely, lovely, and I had not a prayer shawl but a prayer pillow.

"Can I take this little pillow with me? My son made it."

"Cute, how old is he?'

"19"

"Even cuter! Yes, bring it."

and as the sun rose I got to put myself into His Hands and trust in the One who knows me best of all.

and this Passover I get to rest and let people love me and take care of me and they too are a blessing from Him. Like my little prayer pillow, and the sun, a blessing from God who is always watching over me.

roof song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8EndRfdVoc

Here's the song, Claire picked for us to jam on the star deck. Oh girl's worship band is fun.
New girls show up each time. So many percussionists. and I taught them to play tamborine.
Oh such beautiful girls.

Just to know you and be loved is enough.

discovery

I've been watching two planets rise every morning this week. Like heralds they come and reflect the approaching sun. Then I see them fade away swallowed up in his glory.

Which planets are they? One must be Venus, but the other not sure yet. Maybe tomorrow I'll take up binoculars and see if there's rings, or moons, or red... Saturn or Jupiter or Mars. I'm thinking probably Jupiter because of where he always is in the summer, I think he should be a morning star now. Oh, tomorrow, I won't see him. I'll be in pre-op.

Yes, I could just google and find out. Oh but this is so much more fun and interesting and will stay with me. Discovery is like food for deep learning. It's saying, "Oh!" a lot.

Be open to discover today, find the 'Oh' place in your heart, surround yourself with the ones who want to do more than just teach you, who want to discover with you. They are the true treasure, the amazing blessing, the gift of the All-Knowing One. and He's one of them. He could just tell us it all, plant all understanding in our little brains... oh, but where's the fun in that?
He created us to question, to seek, to find.

The more I seek, the more I find that I can seek, and the more I trust Him completely. It will be good today, we will listen to the Counselor, and He will give us counselors and it will all be alright.

Thank you for reading, I need you so much; someone to hear my heart-words, someone who reflects back my discoveries, someone who reminds me that SomeOne is listening too.

why I'm proud of my son

I'm proud of my son...
He dropped a class today. He was disappointed but he realized that it would be better than failing the class and that he could concentrate more on his other classes and his passions.

He has a sane estimate of his capabilities.

I'm proud of my son..
because he's honest with me and asks my advice and he listens, really listens and then he makes his own decision.

I'm proud of my son...
because he values actions over accolades.
He sees that getting 'credit' for doing something isn't the reward, it's in the doing.

I'm proud of my son...
because he loves, really loves his friends, his family, the kids, he ministers to, his band members, even people he doesn't really know. He's a giving leader, he takes his commitments as commitments, and sees people as more important than grades or which college he goes to.
I love the way, he cares for his siblings and me and well, everyone.
He laughs a lot and shares his joy. He blesses my soul.

Thank you, God for my son. Let Him feel Your Love today, deep down and all around. Amen.

only the beginning....

After church, Danny said he was proud of me. Nice feeling, nice words.
Half way through his sermon, Pastor David said, "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of .....Cindy?" and he dramatically pointed at me. Oh he knew i knew, doesn't everyone know, I guess maybe not... Danny didn't.

"Wisdom," I answered not missing a beat. I think Pastor David likes having me there. I listen with everything I've got. I react, I answer, I invest myself in the moment. Once I stuck my hand out for the apple he was using as an illustration, I hadn't had time for dinner and I knew God meant it for me. I got it too.

That verse of Solomon's... the beginning of wisdom, the beginning, it's a place to start, I guess, fearing God. People try to say that doesn't really mean 'fear' but like 'awe' or 'respect' or something. Well, it feels the same to me. Wisdom begins with the realization of how amazing, powerful, pure and holy God is and I'm not. This is where the 'fear' word works. God is all those things and I am not. I am so far from any of those things. I have no hope of attaining any of those things without Him, there's no more room for pride in ourselves.
Pr 11:2
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.
Pr 15:33
The fear of the Lord teaches a man wisdom, and humility comes before honor.

The fear of God points out our need and God's perfection and our complete inability. Once that humble realization is reached we can go on with knowing God which is really what wisdom is all about.
So if fear is the beginning of wisdom where do we go from there?

One of the homegirls said today, "It's the difference of having to do something and wanting to do something. If I help my mom because I love her and want to, it's different and feels better than having to do it 'cause she's making me."


Yeah, it is! Way different. The whole situation and relationship changes with the heart change.
Wisdom isn't really about 'fear'ing God! It's about being fearful enough of God to get humble enough that we see ourselves clearly in the light of His All-Encompassing Love. And then, oh and then, we can ask Him...just ask Him! Check it!!

James 1:5
If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.


Did you get that? If you really got that you should be choking up a little bit, which reminds me of the time, I just started weeping during P.Diddie's sermon (that's what Danny calls Pastor David:)
but don't call him that he hates it. Don't worry he never reads my blog.

Anyways, 'Without finding fault!' oh baby...God is so not out to get us. He's just waiting for us to let Him love us. Pride and self-satisfaction get in the way of Him giving us wisdom, love, anything, except for maybe physical blessings. I think fear of the Lord can help remove that wall to God's love and the wisdom of knowing Him intimately. But like the homey-g's say, 'it can't stop there at fear.' We need to keep on in our relationship with the Creator.
Here's Paul's take on it: Col.2:
2 My purpose is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ, 3 in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.

Our Messiah, Jesus the One who gave all for us, who holds all the treasure of wisdom, is just waiting for our hearts to be humble enough to seek after Him. Let's find our way to that next step beyond fear, beyond the 'have to's. Let's press on to know Him as Hosea says, 'Press on to know the Lord of heaven and earth, don't ya just 'want to?'