cindyred60

Ordained Praise

2009-09-14T07:08:00.000-07:00

...out of the mouths of babes, Thou hast ordained praise...

I had a job once. For hours, I would pat babes, crying, screaming infants.
Alone in a room filled with cribs and babies, I would pat.
...out of the mouths of babes, Thou hast ordained praise...
This beautiful 'sword of the Spirit which is the Word of God' helped get me through and turned me into an instrument of praise.

Pat, pat, pat, they gave nothing back but cries and then finally sleep. Then another would need me. Pat, pat, pat, it was a noisy then silent, loud then quiet monastery for me.

The baby house on the kibbutz filled with creatures 6 weeks to a few months old, yet they had already been taught to praise.
Ordained praise.

Ah Lord,
You made me, as much as any flower.
I embody Praise.
My mind, my body, my soul-Spirit;
I embody Praise.
My frets and keys are crowned with glory and honor,
My life, Your stringed instrument silences darkness.
The moon, the stars, Your little daughter;
We are set in place by Your fingers.
The music rises
We embody Praise.

Psalm 8

1 O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth! 2 From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise because of your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger.
3 When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, 4 what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him? 5 You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor. 6 You made him ruler over the works of your hands; you put everything under his feet: 7 all flocks and herds, and the beasts of the field, 8 the birds of the air, and the fish of the sea, all that swim the paths of the seas. 9 O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!

Lamentations

2009-08-25T05:16:00.000-07:00

Lamentations
3:20 My soul hath them still in remembrance, and is humbled in me.

21 This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. 22 It is of the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. 23 They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. 24 The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him. 25 The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him. 26 It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD. 27 It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth. 28 He sitteth alone and keepeth silence

Oh that quiet waiting, oh that sitteth-ing and keepeth-ing silence,

His Voice

'echoed in the walls of silence'

and our humbled souls find mercy and compassion.

I want to keep that with me all day, that place of silence, where I find Him first, before I jump to fix or decide or judge or

doubt...

Stop. Hear the sitar of His silence spelling out His constant faithfulness.

and then my tambourine will ring with hope in Him.

crumb

2009-07-21T18:09:00.000-07:00

I found a crumb stuck between the pages in the binding of my library book,
oh in that tiny brushstroke,
I could be present in a Masterpiece bound together by Time...
flipping allowed by the fingers of my mind.
Past: did the eater enjoy that page and receive what I received from it?
Present: Joy and insight
Future: Would I leave it or remove this little crumb?
Or would I add crumbs of my own?

Harley ride

2009-07-21T16:46:00.000-07:00

Awakened by a Harley's hum, purr of power...If you sleep on your roof deck these things happen!

It fills me, delights me and I jump out of my wool covers to lean over the balcony and there's Curtis corralling his baby into the garage.

Then my reality returns and
George Harrison's refrain 'Beware of Darkness' echos in my mind.

1 John 1:5 God is Light and there is no darkness in Him at all.

So I start fighting the darkness... images, words, looks, thoughts...

If I allow the darkness "the thoughts that often linger" to fill my mind, then I'm not seeing the
pervasive light of His constant Love.

Fighting darkness is not my job, only beware, be aware of it... then I will jump on the
leather seat of God's Love-Light Harley and hold on as the Purr of Power surrounds me
and fills me with Delight. Thank you my sweet Lord.

For you, Graduate (and me)

2009-06-06T14:44:00.000-07:00

Ya know how I sit on my roof each morning waiting for dawn? Well, it means I get to hear one of my favorite sounds. The sound of a car door softy shutting in the silence of a new day.

That sound takes me back to early morning departures when all of us, kids (there are 5 of us, 7 including my parents) would pile in the white station wagon still half asleep and leave on an adventure.

We didn't always know where we were going or how long it would take to get there but we were nestled in together and once the sun rose there would be a beautiful view.

I guess I love that sound because it heralds Peace and Comfort in a journey to new places and adventures.

As we hear the car door of graduation closing softy this week, I wish for you the Peace and Comfort of knowing you are nestled into His Arms and He knows just where the road leads, and there will be a beautiful view.

I love you and I'm always ready to pile into the white station wagon with you or at least be waiting to hear all about the adventure!

Google Earth, me

2009-06-03T07:02:00.000-07:00

Have you ever Google Earth searched? Oh man, it is fun! You can see your own house or house top or maybe, a friend's faraway. We love to search the houses of our past and the ones in our future.
I love to get lost on trails in the wilderness and Google Earth has given me a clear picture of where I was instead of where I thought I was!

Well, there is One who is constantly Google searching you and me. His Eyes can zoom in so tight that not only can He count the number of hairs on our heads but He knows the thoughts and intents of our hearts.

At the top of the list, His # 1 hit is Love. This One all seeing Searcher sees us, each individual one of us and LOVES us!

and that Love is so Abundant that He doesn't search us from afar but comes right into the Home of our hearts anytime we open the door. Rev. 3:20
Oh Lover of my Soul, search me out and see if there be any wrong intents of my heart and lead me in the way Everlasting.
Oh be my Home, past, present and future and be a Light to my path through every path and unknown wilderness.

My Youngest Son

2009-05-24T06:12:00.000-07:00

I was thinking of keeping this post to myself but as I am listening to a video this beautiful son made as i write ...oh heck i think i just have show off his other side!

Oh what a night! A disappointment for a bunch of people, that felt like my fault, followed by an embarrassment, then a bit of bliss and expectation followed by more disappointment and even an angry exchange!
But I'm so glad it all happened...
My sweet son came to my rescue...he'd heard the angry exchange and amazingly in my home full of boys could see my side! A quiet knock on my bedroom door and in a moment, I was looking up into the eyes of my youngest son.
First, he wanted to listen to me...
listen to ME!
Then he had one little word of advice..."when I get angry at someone and I just want to get back at them, I think, they don't deserve that. It's not worth it and I just let it go."
Oh my sweet son, thank you.
Thank you for your softly knocking heart at the door of my mind.
I am so thankful for you.
Then we compared our heights in my mirror...yep, my 11 year old son's got 3 inches on me...
I was looking up into his eyes and listening to his heart and letting go and trusting in the Peaceful Poet who thought of such a beautiful Poem as my son.

Want some sugar?

2009-05-18T17:10:00.000-07:00

Thanks so much for seeing me, Melvin.
Thank you for taking time in a bit of a crazy place to look at me and speak to my heart.
You recognized the Spirit that we share and encouraged, blessed, and promised me that
there's One with me through every circumstance....
then you thanked me for serving you and other homeless ones.
I see you, Melvin.
You see me, and
we are blessed.

2 Cor. 3:17 Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. 18 And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.

Deserve

2009-05-16T16:24:00.000-07:00

I've heard that word a lot this week, like a reoccurring theme in my ears...'deserve.'

My heart has been pondering it, reaching out to touch the hem of it's garment.

Then today with my orange-chocolate frozen yogurt and my friend's heart reflecting mine, I saw it clearly.

Sitting in her car in the parking lot at Stretch's, I pictured a beautiful painting hanging on the cinder block wall. It was a masterpiece lovingly rendered by an expert artist. Then I imagined someone taking it down and tossing it into the dumpster. No, this painting didn't 'deserve' such treatment. It is a masterpiece, unique and priceless. No, not through any virtue of it's own but through the carefully placed strokes of the Master Artist.

I am that painting. I don't deserve to be shoved into the dustbin. I am His Workmanship, His poem and His work deserves beautiful treatment...

and you know what? You are too.

th tri-Universe and Friends I've never met...

2009-05-16T14:47:00.000-07:00

Day unto day uttereth speech, and night unto night sheweth knowledge." Ps. 19:2

Feel them? The waves of Time, day by day, night by night.
Time carries so much. Like the vibrations through a pool of water, time bring us 'speech' and 'knowledge,' information and energy. Throughout our lives, these waves of time bring us information and energy from sources near and far...or as Ps. 19:1 says "the firmament sheweth His handiwork." This 'firmament, ' the space in which we 'live and move and have our being,' is continually being carried along by time and being moved by energy and information radiating to and from us in all directions....such a lovely Space, Time, Energy Universe we live in.

I woke up so late this morning that a mocking bird's song greeted me. Intricate sound vibrations entered my ears even through my light green ear plugs and carried me back through time to a place where my house was my backyard with a swing where I would sit and wonder at the mockingbird's song, trying to whistle it back.
The song hasn't changed much...those mocking bird great-great grandparents or something inside these little birds taught them that same song and I still can't quite whistle it. But the sound vibrations hit my ears calling me awake to heart-songs within.
Like waves of Light, my thoughts rejoiced in my friends, the friends I've never met.

I delighted in the friends I know and care for through the speech and knowledge of my closest friends...and ya know what? They know and care about me!
They love me and I love them through the heart knowledge of others. The vibrations of Love knowledge spreading out and connecting me to so many that I've never met.

Then I thought of all the writers and artists who touch my life, I know them intimately through their 'handiwork.' Oh beautiful 'firmament' that they are, their works traveling through time to show knowledge and truth.

That thought blossomed within me to people I know and who know me but I've never spoken to.

I like to go into art galleries and let the paintings speak to me until I find one that is calling. Then I take a little pad of paper and sketch. The last time I did this, that art museum guard, I've never spoken to, was ready. This gallery was a completely silent one, even the scratches of my pen seemed invasive in that place. He quietly walked up to me and handed me a much bigger sketch pad. This guardian of the art knew me. He'd seen me before and he blessed me without a word.
He could have watched me with an eye of mistrust and disdain..'Would she hurt my paintings with that pen?' But he chose to fill the space and time with energy waves of Love instead.

When I walk the beach and I see the back-hoe tractor approaching, instead of being annoyed by the distraction of sound and fumes, I watch the driver until he sees me, this friend of mine I've never met and we share a wave as we've done for years in perfect harmony and with a smile of recognition and Love.

Oh Creator, help us to be One with You today. May the firmament show forth your works
in me,
through me,
in you,
through you
and let us become One with Your beautiful
dance of Space, Time, and Energy!

Wait

2009-05-14T11:46:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jP2nz6PG8KM

Here's the song that goes with the next post...
Homegirls and I were talking about how the dance we do to this song
is really off...during the 'wait' part we tap and gaze at our wrists as if we
were looking at our watches and wondering why Someone was so late.

It just doesn't fit with the definition of 'wait' that we discussed this morning...
Here's a quote from Tabitha, "Seems the Bible always ties waiting with Strength. We
might see waiting as weakness but God sees it as Strength!"

tzitzit

2009-05-14T07:11:00.000-07:00

Isaiah 40:30 Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; 31 but those who wait upon the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

The fringe on a prayer shawl is bound together in a beautiful and complex way.
You know what's cool? The word used to describe this binding together of strings
to make a cord is 'quvah' and that same word means to 'wait.'

Oh the perfection and mystery wrapped up in His Word.

I see the tzitzit, the fringe reminding me of Creator's word that binds together and created all things. I see the tallit, the prayer shawl holding me close to Him and teaching me to 'wait' on Him. I feel His promise to those who 'wait' or 'bind together' with Him for 'renewed strength,' for 'wings like eagles, ' for the ability to smile and trust as life unfolds in ways we can't imagine.

Oh Lord, bind us together in You, even when it hurts and help us to trust that You are bringing us into Your heart's home.

fur lined nests

2009-05-11T16:13:00.000-07:00

Bunny is shedding again. She has a train of white, furry, feathers following her frisky feet.
Oh those tufts of fluff are so lovely soft. I put them up in a basket by my window...Why?

Because His timing is Perfect...

Just at the time bunnies send fluffy clouds floating into the wind, birds are snatching them up as a lining for their nests. It's fun to watch little Santa bearded birdies winging from my basket.

Oh His timing is Perfect...

I once really disliked Ecc. 3... so decided so determined... maybe even predetermined...but now I find contentment and peace in these words.

Ecc. 3:1 Everything that happens in this world happens at the time God chooses. 2 He sets the time for birth and the time for death, the time for planting and the time for pulling up, 3 the time for killing and the time for healing, the time for tearing down and the time for building. 4 He sets the time for sorrow and the time for joy, the time for mourning and the time for dancing, 5 the time for making love and the time for not making love, the time for kissing and the time for not kissing. 6 He sets the time for finding and the time for losing, the time for saving and the time for throwing away, 7 the time for tearing and the time for mending, the time for silence and the time for talk. 8 He sets the time for love and the time for hate, the time for war and the time for peace.

Bunnies shed and birds line their nests and I observe and find pleasure in discovering yet another perfectly timed Everything in our big beautiful fur-lined nest.

Richard Feynman points this out in his book, The Pleasure of Finding Things Out. He remembers a lesson from his father, "We have been looking at how all these things grow; but for each bit of growth, there must be the same amount of decay, otherwise the materials would be consumed forever..."
What Feynman learned from these walks in the woods with his father was to look, to watch, and if you paid attention, you got a great reward from it, the reward of finding something out.

So notice what happens to the little tufts of fluff floating around you and you just may discover that His timing is Perfect...and see some happy birds and find contentment in trusting that Everything is Allright and time is unfolding in His Perfection.

You

2009-05-09T17:32:00.000-07:00

You know Everything.
So I will wait for you.
And I will not be stingy with my affections,
And I will let You love through me.
I will be Your hallow bone,
Everywhere I go,
If You make me so.

1000 eyes

2009-05-09T15:18:00.000-07:00

Oh for a thousand eyes to see...
I have a thousand eyes to see...

I had a dream where I, sort of, spread out, kind of like salt and pepper sprinkled
in a soupy world...that's when I got my extra eyes!

Like my brother saying, "Did you hear the tribble purring in the mining station in the movie?" I hadn't but I could now, "It was on the computer console!" Oh yes, there it was now and I texted another friend who was about to see the movie to watch for it. I gave him my eyes.

Or my friend, Rachel saying, "Music is a gift. Listen to this song now!" My heart-eyes open to her words and I see.

My son, shares with me why Fable 2 is so amazing to play. "It's like part of me goes into that world, like a Horcrux." Now I can see his passion and we're using language that helps me see through the eyes of J.K. Rowling.

Another friend sees right through my words and shows me what I really mean.

Or my heart-eyes see a friend's heart and I ask about his mother on the very day she passed away 25 years ago...

Maybe I have more than 1000 eyes.. maybe my eyes are limitless as salt in the ocean.
Oh so many eyes, your eyes are mine and my eyes are yours.

Rev. 4:6 And before the throne there was a sea of glass like unto crystal: and in the midst of the throne, and round about the throne, were four beasts full of eyes before and behind.

Roses and Honey

2009-05-09T14:28:00.000-07:00

Did you know that wild roses have more intense scent than domesticated ones? I don't know for sure why that is but maybe it's out of necessity. Domesticated roses will get pollinated by a Gardener, they don't need to attract any bees or insects. Wild roses don't have a choice. They need those bugsy suitors.
Maybe that's what made the Shulamite woman in the Song of Solomon so lovely. She wasn't a pampered lady of the tents. She was out in the fields working with her brothers and had darkly tanned skin to prove it.
Perhaps this necessity, this 'suffering' made her lovely inside as well as out. She had a beautiful disposition, a lovely scent of peace.
I want to be like that wild rose. I want to give off an intoxicating scent to my Beloved.
If that means He needs to mold and shape me through the field of suffering, He will help me to endure and flourish.
I will trust Him. I will trust that through His work in me a beautiful Bounty of Honey will be harvested.

Earthworms at Disneyland

2009-05-04T12:29:00.000-07:00

i know Someone who talks to an earthworm everyday.
This little earthworm tries to listen and she can't yet understand
much but she picks up on what's important.
Wormy knows intimately that SomeOne loves her,
that Everything is an amazing miracle,
and that her life is a gift.

She knows that whenever she waits for SomeOne and trusts Him
that He will work Everything together for good.

Sometimes like a long line at Disneyland, Wormy has to wiggle around
in the hot sun or in the rain.
But SomeOne has taught her to bring friends along to wait with and
always be sure there's cookies in her pockets.
SomeOne taught her all these things by becoming an Earthworm Himself.
and while He wiggled in line with the other worms, you could hear the best
earthworm talks ever!
Now He speaks to Wormy through the letters those wormies wrote
and especially He talks to her in her heart when she seeks a quiet wormhole
away from the the lines and popcorn smells and finds Him waiting to sing her
a song by the wishing well on the Bridge to Fantasyland.

Don't forget to find your favorite spot in this Disneyland of ours,
my wormy friends
and spend some quiet time there listening to the music
that SomeOne will speak to your heart.

Home

2009-04-21T07:00:00.000-07:00

Near or far there u r...

& we r Home.

Distance & place cannot erase

Our heart beat of Home.

Bagels broiling,

Coffee boiling,

Laughter to share

with toil & care,

Anytime, Everywhere,

In U, i am Home.

The waves in the bay,

lap softly each day,,

and continue to say,,,

"We" is Home.

My Pen with the Little Cap for John G. and the Nightwatch

2009-04-21T06:24:00.000-07:00

Oh, I have in my pocket a quill and parchment that will serve me in an instant.
This morning I am thinking of all the centuries of poets and artists who had no such servants.
Lost?
No, those poems and lines and paintings that filled their minds and hearts are not lost.
We will experience them,
dance to music sung once
at a sunset in ancient times
and heard by No One
but the artist and the Author of all sunsets.
Oh, we will dance to that song and gaze at that painting,
weep at those words never written down but not lost.
Heaven.

tea

2009-04-16T08:01:00.000-07:00

My friend, Mat, woke up early and started to make himself some tea. But he didn't want to have tea alone. Who would be up this early on a Sunday? ....Cindy!...
I woke up early one Sunday and decided instead of watching the sunrise, I would work, not with a happy heart but with a sense of obligation and resentment.
Just as I began, there was a smiling face in my window, Matt and his 'magical tea pouch.'

Oh miracles happen everyday, just see them.

Sitting for hours, drinking tea from tiny cups (if you had a mug you could get up and walk away, Matt explained,) talking of the special minerals in the mud which comprised the tea pot. Trying to taste the earth, the 'adama' and leaves that were grown in it, in far-away China, where the stars were just coming out. Oh it was heaven on this earth of ours.

Matt explained how the tea effected the soil and the minerals in the soil effected the tea.

Oh I feel that... all these molecules I'm made of, all these bits of vibrating strings so connected such a part of Everything else.
We take a breathe it enters our lungs and blood and dreams. We taste a cookie and it has come from so many places and provides comfort and even a way to show love.
We share an idea or a thought and those become one with the hearer, our hearts touch.
Oh heaven, this beautiful home this One Universe....
in His tiny cup of tea...He never gets up and walks away, Creator sits sipping it with us and through us and in us.

The LORD our God, the LORD is one!" Moshe (Deuteronomy 6:4 )

I gotta ask Claire to make me some tiny cups :).

Less Disdain

2009-04-16T07:01:00.000-07:00

'Less Disdain', treating others with less disdain. This has been a mantra for me the last couple of months. I want to have in my mind and heart a true respect when I speak to others about their ideas, opinions, and beliefs. I want to share mine the way Paul encourages us to:

Eph. 4:15 ....speaking the truth in love

and I want to listen in love as well.

Can people who have different ideas, and beliefs discuss and share these in love?
When I'm learning, growing, and seeking, the cool thing is, that the perfect situations arise and help will appear.

For example, I found by the 'truth in love' being spoken from a friend that sometimes I present my beliefs about cosmology and origins with some disdain.
Then a resource came into my life, an Intelligent Design organization whose stated goal is to
treat people who disagree with gentleness, respect, and love. They provide a forum where ID and evolution can be discussed in peace.

and I got to see how this works in a chat room a couple of days ago. I was writing about irreducible complexity and wanted the opposing viewpoint. I knew just where to go, a chat room where scientists hang out.
I soon had some great counter arguments to my ideas and had fun with people too.
At the end of our discussion, one scientiste said, "Hey, we both have our beliefs. Yours in a creator, ours in evolutionary theory. " Perfect! It was cool....truth in love.

Is there only One truth? Well, yeah, truth is true, but that doesn't mean our Omniscient and Omnipotent Creator can't bring ideas around in a beautiful design and paradox that you and I just can't see yet.
There's no swine only pearls, less disdain, that's the truth in love.

Letting Go

2009-04-15T01:10:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hj4w2tJ6XYM

"Once they turn blue and pass out then they'll start to breathe again," I remembered reading that in my 'how to be a mommy' book.
There was Danny turning blue. I'd just taken a knife, held by the blade, from his 8 month old hands. He was so shocked at the lost of this shiny treasure that he held his breath until he passed out. I was ready to catch him. The tile floors in my Israeli flat were unforgiving.

Sure enough, just like the book had said, he started breathing again.

This scene came flooding into my mind tonight as I listened to Denis speak of a better way. Maybe this 16 year old kid should have written the book.
"If you want to get something from a child, say your car keys or something, you offer him a toy or an apple or something better."
Brilliant. Why hadn't I thought of that? It would have saved me from prying a knife blade out of the determined hands of my Danny.
But Denis went on, "That's what God does for us. He offers us something better, Himself, to hold on to and not only that but He holds on to us."
John, the youth director, tried to throw him off. "Well, sometimes, I hold on to God with one hand and try to hold on the something else with my other hand."

But Tabitha came to the rescue, "The hand holding on to Jesus will find Him so beautiful and fulfilling that the other will release its grasp, the other thing will just fade away."

Phil. 3:12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.

Hold on, let go of those shiny blades and hold on, heart, to the One who never fails.

'indescribable Something'

2009-04-11T09:45:00.000-07:00

"The sense that in the universe we are treated as strangers, the longing to be acknowledged, to meet with some response, to bridge some chasm that yawns between us and reality, is part of our inconsolable secret.”

Oh Jack, Clive Staples Lewis, I feel it. That constant pull to be 'taken into the dance,' to be One with the Creator and join in that indescribable Something. Maybe that's what drives the artist and the scientist.

I draw the sunset and join the colors and warmth, I bridge the chasm and make it part of me and me part of it. Or a sparrow's song brings inspiration for a song from my heart, and we are One.
I discover for myself which stars my friend in Uruguay can see. I think I hear a meteor make sounds and discover that some really do produce vibrations that my ear can detect and I join Creator in the dance.

Let's open ourselves these holy days to the Bridge, to the One who holds the key to the Secret and would joyfully console us and make us strangers no longer.

1 Cor. 2:7 No, we speak of God's secret wisdom, a wisdom that has been hidden and that God destined for our glory before time began. 8 None of the rulers of this age understood it, for if they had, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory. 9 However, as it is written: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him"-- 10 but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God.

by your side

2009-04-10T17:56:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBBOxnnaW74

this song goes with the last post...

Birkat Hachamah surgery

2009-04-09T07:56:00.000-07:00

Birkat Hachamah , The Blessing of the Sun,

it only comes once every 28 years and this time

it came on the morning before Passover...

and on the morning of my surgery.

Oh lovely, lovely, and I had not a prayer shawl but a prayer pillow.

"Can I take this little pillow with me? My son made it."

"Cute, how old is he?'

"19"

"Even cuter! Yes, bring it."

and as the sun rose I got to put myself into His Hands and trust in the One who knows me best of all.

and this Passover I get to rest and let people love me and take care of me and they too are a blessing from Him. Like my little prayer pillow, and the sun, a blessing from God who is always watching over me.

roof song

2009-04-08T04:24:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8EndRfdVoc

Here's the song, Claire picked for us to jam on the star deck. Oh girl's worship band is fun.
New girls show up each time. So many percussionists. and I taught them to play tamborine.
Oh such beautiful girls.

Just to know you and be loved is enough.

discovery

2009-04-07T06:18:00.000-07:00

I've been watching two planets rise every morning this week. Like heralds they come and reflect the approaching sun. Then I see them fade away swallowed up in his glory.

Which planets are they? One must be Venus, but the other not sure yet. Maybe tomorrow I'll take up binoculars and see if there's rings, or moons, or red... Saturn or Jupiter or Mars. I'm thinking probably Jupiter because of where he always is in the summer, I think he should be a morning star now. Oh, tomorrow, I won't see him. I'll be in pre-op.

Yes, I could just google and find out. Oh but this is so much more fun and interesting and will stay with me. Discovery is like food for deep learning. It's saying, "Oh!" a lot.

Be open to discover today, find the 'Oh' place in your heart, surround yourself with the ones who want to do more than just teach you, who want to discover with you. They are the true treasure, the amazing blessing, the gift of the All-Knowing One. and He's one of them. He could just tell us it all, plant all understanding in our little brains... oh, but where's the fun in that?
He created us to question, to seek, to find.

The more I seek, the more I find that I can seek, and the more I trust Him completely. It will be good today, we will listen to the Counselor, and He will give us counselors and it will all be alright.

Thank you for reading, I need you so much; someone to hear my heart-words, someone who reflects back my discoveries, someone who reminds me that SomeOne is listening too.

why I'm proud of my son

2009-04-03T11:17:00.001-07:00

I'm proud of my son...
He dropped a class today. He was disappointed but he realized that it would be better than failing the class and that he could concentrate more on his other classes and his passions.

He has a sane estimate of his capabilities.

I'm proud of my son..
because he's honest with me and asks my advice and he listens, really listens and then he makes his own decision.

I'm proud of my son...
because he values actions over accolades.
He sees that getting 'credit' for doing something isn't the reward, it's in the doing.

I'm proud of my son...
because he loves, really loves his friends, his family, the kids, he ministers to, his band members, even people he doesn't really know. He's a giving leader, he takes his commitments as commitments, and sees people as more important than grades or which college he goes to.
I love the way, he cares for his siblings and me and well, everyone.
He laughs a lot and shares his joy. He blesses my soul.

Thank you, God for my son. Let Him feel Your Love today, deep down and all around. Amen.

only the beginning....

2009-04-01T06:47:00.000-07:00

After church, Danny said he was proud of me. Nice feeling, nice words.
Half way through his sermon, Pastor David said, "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of .....Cindy?" and he dramatically pointed at me. Oh he knew i knew, doesn't everyone know, I guess maybe not... Danny didn't.

"Wisdom," I answered not missing a beat. I think Pastor David likes having me there. I listen with everything I've got. I react, I answer, I invest myself in the moment. Once I stuck my hand out for the apple he was using as an illustration, I hadn't had time for dinner and I knew God meant it for me. I got it too.

That verse of Solomon's... the beginning of wisdom, the beginning, it's a place to start, I guess, fearing God. People try to say that doesn't really mean 'fear' but like 'awe' or 'respect' or something. Well, it feels the same to me. Wisdom begins with the realization of how amazing, powerful, pure and holy God is and I'm not. This is where the 'fear' word works. God is all those things and I am not. I am so far from any of those things. I have no hope of attaining any of those things without Him, there's no more room for pride in ourselves.
Pr 11:2
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.
Pr 15:33
The fear of the Lord teaches a man wisdom, and humility comes before honor.

The fear of God points out our need and God's perfection and our complete inability. Once that humble realization is reached we can go on with knowing God which is really what wisdom is all about.
So if fear is the beginning of wisdom where do we go from there?

One of the homegirls said today, "It's the difference of having to do something and wanting to do something. If I help my mom because I love her and want to, it's different and feels better than having to do it 'cause she's making me."

Yeah, it is! Way different. The whole situation and relationship changes with the heart change.
Wisdom isn't really about 'fear'ing God! It's about being fearful enough of God to get humble enough that we see ourselves clearly in the light of His All-Encompassing Love. And then, oh and then, we can ask Him...just ask Him! Check it!!

James 1:5
If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.

Did you get that? If you really got that you should be choking up a little bit, which reminds me of the time, I just started weeping during P.Diddie's sermon (that's what Danny calls Pastor David:)
but don't call him that he hates it. Don't worry he never reads my blog.

Anyways, 'Without finding fault!' oh baby...God is so not out to get us. He's just waiting for us to let Him love us. Pride and self-satisfaction get in the way of Him giving us wisdom, love, anything, except for maybe physical blessings. I think fear of the Lord can help remove that wall to God's love and the wisdom of knowing Him intimately. But like the homey-g's say, 'it can't stop there at fear.' We need to keep on in our relationship with the Creator.
Here's Paul's take on it: Col.2:
2 My purpose is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ, 3 in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.

Our Messiah, Jesus the One who gave all for us, who holds all the treasure of wisdom, is just waiting for our hearts to be humble enough to seek after Him. Let's find our way to that next step beyond fear, beyond the 'have to's. Let's press on to know Him as Hosea says, 'Press on to know the Lord of heaven and earth, don't ya just 'want to?'

Worship

2009-03-29T07:35:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7z89G8nawyA
Notes for teaching...on Worship

I love where we ended last week...

Hebrews 11:21
By faith Jacob, when he was dying, blessed each of Joseph's sons, and worshiped as he leaned on the top of his staff.

I think this verse is perfect for a study on worship.

What is this thing we call 'worship?' We call our bands, 'Worship' bands... we call our gatherings, 'worship services'... and when we sing together we sing 'worship' songs!

but do we even know what worship is!?
Is it singing? dancing? making sacrifices? making music? Praying? Serving?

I think all of these encompass what 'worship' can look like. But actual worship goes deeper. It's about the heart. It's about what's going on inside the worshiper.

'By faith' this verse says about Jacob. Faith this gift of God given to our hearts. Belief in One unseen, unprovable by fleshly means, without which it is impossible to please God.
This faith is the first element needed in worship that comes from the heart.

and the next part of the verse gives us a hint as to where this faith comes from...
'when he was dying.' True worship comes not of ourselves, no, it comes from dying to ourselves and giving ourselves over to the Spirit.
It's getting our eyes, the eyes of our hearts, off ourselves and onto Spirit.

next Jacob blesses others... Worship is about seeking good for others. Once we have the trust and faith in God, once we have died to ourselves and gotten our eyes on and filled with Spirit; we are free to 'bless' others. Ours hearts can lift them up to this amazing One, who is utterly to be trusted and is so worthy of all praise and glory. Oh it's a beautiful thing!

The verse ends with 'and leaned on top of his staff.' True worship throws us into the arms of the One being worshipped. We trust, bless and give ourselves completely to worship of this Beloved, All Lovely One.

Oh I want to worship like that today! Alone or in the assembly, let's keep this verse about Jacob in our hearts as we seek His face!

Leaning

2009-03-29T04:38:00.000-07:00

My notes for teaching last week:

Who are you leaning on?

Our friend and Patriarch, Jacob spend a long time leaning on and relying on himself.

Jacob had been given promises before his birth. I'm sure he heard them at his mother's knee,

'The younger will serve the older..' His twin, brother Esau undoubtedly heard them too.

But he was older therefore the birthright and blessings of his father, Issac would be his....

But Jacob had no problem tricking Esau. Esau was a hunter, hairy and tough while Jacob was a man who stuck 'close to the tents.' Esau came home from hunting famished and Jacob had some lovely stew a cookin... The smell seized this hairy man of the wilderness, 'Give me some lest I die!'

Let's talk for a minute about Jacob's name.( I asked our Jacob to answer and he did great:) Jacob means heel catcher or trickster, supplanter and this guy knew how to make a deal. Jacob was very good at leaning on his own strengths to make things happen. Instead of waitng to see how God would bring about the promise given to him before birth, he chose to trick his brother.

'Give me your birthright, I'll give you some stew.' He must have really been hungry because Esau took the deal. and Jacob made an enemy.

and he wasn't done yet. Now Jacob wanted the blessing and he wasn't willing to wait and see how God would bring it to him. Jacob had been promised this blessing, he could have chosen to lean on God to bring it about instead, he tricked both his father and his brother. Instead of trusting God, he put on a hairy coat, told his blind father that he was Esau and received Esau's blessing.

This time the strong hunter, Esau wanted one thing; to kill Jacob.

Jacob fled his father's tents. He self-reliance and lack of trust in God cost him everything.

Gen. 32:10 says he 'carried' with only his staff. (Here I held up a staff and kept kind of holding it up till the end, I figure then maybe someone will remember what I taught for a bit :) Did you get that? he 'carried' his staff.

Now Jacob was alone and he spent the night on a mountaintop with a rock for a pillow. I've been to this area of Israel and I'm just sure it was a cloudless night and Jacob fell asleep looking at the uncountable stars. It amazes me that Jacob thoughts didn't turn to God. He knew the prophecy given to his grandfather, Abraham that his descendants would outnumber the stars. God even gave him a dream that echoed this prophecy;

Gen. 28:14 Your descendants will be like the dust of the earth, and you will spread out to the west and to the east, to the north and to the south. All peoples on earth will be blessed through you and your offspring. 15 I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you."

Wow! Despite his lack of leaning on and relying on God, God promises to bless Jacob. "I am with you, I will not leave you, I will do what I have promised" says God to Jacob.

How do I know that Jacob fell asleep feeling far from God? Because what his response to God was:

Gen. 28:16 When Jacob awoke from his sleep, he thought, "Surely the Lord is in this place, and I was not aware of it."

But surely now he would trust God and lean on this amazing promise...nope!

Gen. 28:20 Then Jacob made a vow, saying, "If God will be with me and will watch over me on this journey I am taking and will give me food to eat and clothes to wear 21 so that I return safely to my father's house, then the Lord will be my God 22 and this stone that I have set up as a pillar will be God's house, and of all that you give me I will give you a tenth."

Oh Jacob, still 'carries' the staff, still relying on self, still the 'heel-catcher' who must make deals and make things happen. God had made a promise to Jacob and all God wanted was for Jacob to believe it. That's it. ....'If' Jacob says...oh Jacob 'if?'

Well, Jacob's about to meet his match in deal making. Years before his mother, Rebbecca had been given to Abraham's servant by her brother Laban. Laban had seen the faith and trust of his servant and had given his sister as a bride for Issac.

Gen.24:50 Laban and Bethuel answered, "This is from the Lord; we can say nothing to you one way or the other. 51 Here is Rebekah; take her and go,

Take her and go! That is some deal! Wow!

Jacob surely knew this story but he kept carrying that staff, kept leaning on not on God but on himself and his abilities.

Look at the crazy deal he makes with Laban for his daughter, Rachel...

Gen.29:18
Jacob was in love with Rachel and said, "I'll work for you seven years in return for your younger daughter Rachel."

Oh Ya'acob! Why not lean on God? He ends up being tricked by Laban and continues making deals with Laban until he leaves decades later with yet another deal!

Jacob decides to return to to his father's home and oh! he is so worried about Esau! Esau had promised to kill Jacob after their father's death and both of their parents were gone.

God sees his fear and tries once again to get Jacob to trust and lean on the Creator, the One who had promised so much without demanding anything, this Father of the stars who gave Jacob visions of descendant like the stars. Look what God does for this son of His who is still going 'his way!'

Gen. 32:1 Jacob also went on his way, and the angels of God met him.
Angels met him!
and what's Jacob's reaction: plans to pacify his brother, prayers to remind God of His promise.
No trust, no faith in God's action.
Hey, the prayer is a good idea. I think prayer is for us, to get in our heads that our hands are too small, we can't carry our own staff, we need to rely on the Father of Lights.
But Jacob's prayer doesn't have this result in Jacob's heart. (big surprise, not!)

Gen. 32:11 Save me, I pray, from the hand of my brother Esau, for I am afraid he will come and attack me, and also the mothers with their children. 12 But you have said, 'I will surely make you prosper and will make your descendants like the sand of the sea, which cannot be counted.'"

Jacob remembers God's promise but doesn't trust it...He immediately starts planning gifts to give to Esau... deals, deals, plans, and self-reliance...
Then like that night on the mountain top when all he carried was his staff, Jacob spends the night alone; and again he is not alone!

Gen. 32:24 So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak.

This time,God actually wrestles with his non-trusting child. This not just a 'man' Jacob is fighting against but God, Himself.
Now what about us? How many times does our self-leaning cause us to 'wrestle ' with God instead of trusting Him?
This scene of Jacob's struggle always makes me think of another child of God...a little woman who was probably in her late twenties but maybe not. She had been bleeding for 12 years, which made her a bit of an outcast in Israel. Unlike Jacob, she reaches out to God in faith, she doesn't wrestle with Him, no, she had one thing on her mind 'if I can just touch the edge of Jesus' cloak, I will be healed. '
Which one are we doing today? Reaching out to wrestle with God, relying on our own strengths or reaching out just to touch 'the edge of His cloak?'
Luke 8:48
Then he said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace."

Oh what a contrast to Jacob's struggle...

Gen32:25 When the man saw that he could not overpower him,

(God couldn't overpower Jacob? What is this talking about?)

(Garret, what's the strongest part or muscle in our bodies?) (I was right, he said thigh and gave a description:)
Well, God had to help Jacob, He had not yet 'overpowered' Jacob's self-leaning so...

Gen.32:25b He touched the socket of Jacob's hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man.

Jacob would have to lean upon his staff for the rest of his life but, oh my!..Jacob is still making deals!

26 Then the man said, "Let me go, for it is daybreak." But Jacob replied, "I will not let you go unless you bless me."
Oh Ya'acob!

Gen. 32: 28 Then the man said, "Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with men and have overcome." 29 Jacob said, "Please tell me your name." But he replied, "Why do you ask my name?" Then he blessed him there.
God blesses Jacob and Jacob realizes he has been wrestling with God!
30 So Jacob called the place Peniel, saying, "It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared."
Then at last, Jacob is no longer carrying his staff, he is leaning on it:
31 The sun rose above him as he passed Peniel, and he was limping because of his hip.

Well, Esau doesn't kill Jacob, in fact he doesn't even want Jacob's gifts, he only wanted to see his brother. Jacob has 12 sons who become the 12 tribes of (this new name of his) Israel...
and the prophecies concerning Jacob are fulfilled, not through Jacob struggling and self reliance but through the gift of God.

Paul has some amazing insight into what happens:
Paul is writing a letter to the Galatians. They are believers in the free gift of Life in Messiah, Jesus but they have fallen back to their own strength. They have started relying on keeping the Law for their salvation again.

Gal. 3:1 You foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you? Before your very eyes Jesus Christ was clearly portrayed as crucified. 2 I would like to learn just one thing from you: Did you receive the Spirit by observing the law, or by believing what you heard? 3 Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort? 4 Have you suffered so much for nothing--if it really was for nothing? 5 Does God give you his Spirit and work miracles among you because you observe the law, or because you believe what you heard?
6 Consider Abraham: "He believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness."

Ya gotta love Paul! He tells it like it is!
He reminds them that the promise given to Abraham was given before the Law was given! 430 years before! The promises of God do not depend on the keeping of the Law! He reminds them of that same promise given to Jacob under the stars on the mountain top:

Gal.3:16 The promises were spoken to Abraham and to his seed. The Scripture does not say "and to seeds," meaning many people, but "and to your seed," meaning one person, who is Christ.

Did you get that? The promise is because of this Seed of Abraham, this One Person who is the Messiah, who is the One we can lean on ...the One who like that little woman only requires us to reach out and 'touch the edge of His cloak'... oh just that little bit of faith.

Gal. 3:22 But the Scripture declares that the whole world is a prisoner of sin, so that what was promised, being given through faith in Jesus Christ, might be given to those who believe. 23 Before this faith came, we were held prisoners by the law, locked up until faith should be revealed. 24 So the law was put in charge to lead us to Christ that we might be justified by faith. 25 Now that faith has come, we are no longer under the supervision of the law. 26 You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, 27 for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. 28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. 29 If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham's seed, and heirs according to the promise.

Reach out like the woman or wrestle like Jacob but make Him the One you lean on!
and what happened to Jacob?
Oh the writer of Hebrews (probably Paul) reveals that to us...

Hebrews 11:21
By faith Jacob, when he was dying, blessed each of Joseph's sons, and worshiped as he leaned on the top of his staff.

Oh 'By Faith!' Oh 'worshiped as he leaned' oh i am so happy!

frustration

2009-03-27T07:37:00.000-07:00

http://technorati.com/videos/youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DH3iSiij98VY

Here's some nice music about wheat that will calm us down if we are frustrated :). (Notice the pretty frets, but don't fret...I would show you a thing.)

Can you think of a time when Jesus was Frustrated? (yes, with a capital F.)
Okay picture it: Jesus is going on a nice boat ride with his 12 disciples, his main guys. He mentions to them,"Be on your guard against the the yeast of the Super Religious People."

It so happened on that nice boat ride day, the 12 guys had forgotten to bring bread and they thought Jesus was giving them a big hint about their mistake. They probably started blaming each other and being bummed.

Then Jesus figures out what they are discussing and gets majorly frustrated with them.

I kind of get why. Sometimes I get exasperated when I realize that people have no clue even about the simplest things of the Bible. And man, lots of people have a good reason not to know anything about the Biblical Holidays or the gospels or the things in Hebrews 6 (just read it).

But Jesus' disciples were being silly. They had just seen Jesus feed 5000 people with 5 loaves of bread. Guys! He's not worried about there not being any picnic lunch. Also these disciples grew up celebrating the Passover every year. I'm sure their moms diligently did their Passover cleaning to remove the house of all dust and dirt just in case it might have the tiniest bit of yeast in it. One of the main themes of Passover is removing the yeast which they had to have known is a symbol of sin. (Hey, Gabe knows it, I asked him today while he ate his pancakes.) (Micah found a long red hair in his and said they weren't cooked enough, frustration? no I'm laughing:).

Anyways, at the end of the story in Mat. 16:5-12, Jesus tells them, "Guys, I meant the teaching of the Super Religious People, which is really just a lot of dead works." (That's my translation.)

Those Super Religious People (Pharisees and Sadducees) taught, "Ya gotta be good. Ya gotta keep the Law. Ya gotta know everything about the Torah (that last one was for me:)"

Jesus was teaching something else. You can't be good, you can't keep the Law, you can't even know very much at all about the Word. He was teaching, "You, my friends, need Me."

So let's let all those little frustrations go. Whether they are with ourselves for dropping hair in the pancakes or with others for complaining about the way they are cooked. Let's keep on loving the way Jesus did and you know what? He will help us and love through us and everything will be alright.

Chapter on Passover coming soon so you can start your cleaning. :)

Unconditional Love

2009-03-26T19:25:00.000-07:00

Is there any other kind?
I don't know but probably not.
Ever heard, "Love means never having to say you're sorry?"
I think that means that if you love someone, you still love them even if they don't say, "sorry."
Love really is amazing, love goes beyond the actions or inactions of the beloved one.
Love has to do with trust, utter and complete trust but not necessarily in the one loved but in the One who is Love.

From 1 Cor. 13 Living Translation
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

If you love someone, you will always expect the best from them, always stand your ground in defending them, you'll always believe in them. (That doesn't mean no mistakes will be made. Hey, we are people and guess what? we make mistakes...)

Love hopes all things, endures all things, believes all things.

One day all the special gifts from God will come to an end but these three will remain;
faith, hope, and love, and the greatest of these is love.

Did you get that last part? It's a gift from God. I don't think love, real love happens without God. So when someone loves you, when you love someone with that love, that's a gift from God, there's no stopping it. It doesn't end.
I heard Brain Green say once that there's some formula that holds the secret meaning of the Universe and he said maybe it's Love. Yep, Brian Greene said it and I betcha it's true.
All we need is Love, this all encompassing, ever enduring, completely trustworthy Love.

Aren't you married?

2009-03-23T16:34:00.000-07:00

Prov.5:18 May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. 19 A loving doe, a graceful deer-- may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love.

Captivated? After 25 years of marriage and almost 50 years traveling around our beautiful star? Since I found my breast lump, I've discovered how many people take it for granted that being beautiful and captivating is not required of married people, especially older married people, especially happily married older people.
Even the surgeon today asked a surprised,"Aren't you married?" when I showed concern over how I would look. How big will the scar be? Will I look out of balance?
I don't get it. Why wouldn't I want to look awesome for the man I married no matter how many years ago it was? Not to mention for myself!
Okay so, can I tie this in to a Bible study? No problemos, baby...

Rev.2:4 Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love.
Return to your first Love.
Remember that feeling of falling in love, if you're anywhere from 11 to 111, I'll bet you do!
That's how it felt when we first fell in Love with the Creator of Love, when we first came to know and realize that He loves us and time spent with Him was the highlight of the day.
Have you let that time go for other things, do you prefer the light of your TV to the Light of Life?
Or maybe you've never really understood about God, never really fallen in love with Him.
Well, get this...He sees us as a spouse, as His beloved, as his true love...
Isa 61:10
I delight greatly in the Lord; my soul rejoices in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.
He is captivated with us! and you know what our response is? to be captivating to Him. I think God created marriage as a mirror of His Love for us. Our delight in our spouse and our desire to delight our spouse doesn't end because we've been at it for years! It's a beautiful song, a painting in real life of God's love for us.
So next time someone says to me, "But aren't you married?" I think I'll answer, "Yes, and I want to be captivating for my beloved!"

'The Infinite and Penitent begin to look like Home'

2009-03-21T07:06:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g_Fj7wbc3Zc

As unlikely as a guitar that arrives perfectly in tune
or
looking up and seeing a jet stream cross, covering Everything
or
as friends that live steps away from each other but one didn't know it...
this is our Salvation.

There's nothing to add to this instrument of self-sacrifice and Love.
The music has been executed perfectly and we can do nothing but accept
this gift, rejoicing in the beauty and completeness.

His embrace crosses the heavens and fills us with overflowing Love.
Closer than can be imagined, He's there waiting, loving, utterly patient and kind,
Our Best Friend, our Perfect Song,
ready to include each of us in His dance across the Sky of Infinite Love.

Red Bird

2009-03-20T05:00:00.000-07:00

I close my eyes and she flys and finds her place
A nest, built just so, among the pillars
Made of reeds, bruised and bent but never broken
and one Branch, rejected by the builders but perfect
For her nest, stained and full of almond blossoms,
Red Bird's nest built by Him among the pillars.

I Will Not Be Silent..David Crowder Band

2009-03-15T06:19:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxL06UnPfDE

try this one out in the Throne Room :)

I will not be Silent

2009-03-15T04:48:00.000-07:00

"If God is Omniscient and Omnipotent then He makes everything happen, we have no free choice, no free will therefore the concept of god doesn't make sense."
It was my eight grade English class I think they call it humanities now.
The the teacher went on, "Can anyone tell me why they would still believe in god?"
He was supposed to be teaching us about those words, omniscient and omnipotent but he was giving us more of a lesson than that.
Now I had a choice to make...
Do I speak up or stay quiet?
Did I even have an answer to this very confrontational guy's question?

That's what I want us to think about today. Do we speak up or do we remain silent?

There's a Jewish/biblical holiday that just past called Purim. It's great. We celebrate the bravery of a young beautiful girl who was probably not much older than you, guys.
She had a choice to make.
She was living in luxury in a palace in fact she was the queen ....
no one knew she was also a Jew and in a few days her people would be annihilated.
That's a good SAT word anyone know what it means?
Wiped out and done now...bye,bye!
She could speak up and go to the King and tell him that she too was a Jew and plead for her people or she could stay safe and sound and quiet.
Her uncle Mordecai (the only one who knew her heritage) gave her the choice
Es 4:14
For if thou altogether holdest thy peace at this time, then shall there enlargement and deliverance arise to the Jews from another place; but thou and thy father's house shall be destroyed: and who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this?
Es 4:14
For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?"

The problem was she hadn't even seen the King in over a month and to enter the throne room was dangerous for Esther. If the King raised his scepter to her, she would live, if not immediate death for little Esther.
What would she do? Speak or stay silent?
What's cool is that she had time, she got all her people to pray for her and with her and on the third day is went into the throne room and let's just say there was a happy ending but I guess you guys already know that 'cause if there wasn't and all the Jews had been wiped out we wouldn't have Jesus or an Bible and we wouldn't be sitting here right now!!!
Okay so, girlfriend, took time to pray and had other people pray too. Awesome.
Our next example is a young guy Bar Mitzvah age, he went to the temple with his family for Passover and he did a strange thing that on the surface looks wrong.
He ditched his 'rents!
They headed on home to Nazareth and this guy exactly your age stayed!
He hung out in the temple questioning and answering the questions of the elder's there!

Luke 2:46 After three days they found him in the temple courts, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. 47 Everyone who heard him was amazed at his understanding and his answers. 48 When his parents saw him, they were astonished. His mother said to him, "Son, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for you." 49 "Why were you searching for me?" he asked. "Didn't you know I had to be in my Father's house?" 50 But they did not understand what he was saying to them. 51 Then he went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them. But his mother treasured all these things in her heart. 52 And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.

After 3 days, his parents find Him and they are freaked! He made a choice like Esther to speak up. Why? He had to" be about my Father's business? " (King James version)
He had a purpose for life even at that young age of 12... God!
Did you notice that both happened after three days?

Let's look at another example:

Acts 23:12-35
12 The next morning the Jews formed a conspiracy and bound themselves with an oath not to eat or drink until they had killed Paul. 13 More than forty men were involved in this plot. 14 They went to the chief priests and elders and said, "We have taken a solemn oath not to eat anything until we have killed Paul. 15 Now then, you and the Sanhedrin petition the commander to bring him before you on the pretext of wanting more accurate information about his case. We are ready to kill him before he gets here." 16 But when the son of Paul's sister heard of this plot, he went into the barracks and told Paul. 17 Then Paul called one of the centurions and said, "Take this young man to the commander; he has something to tell him." 18 So he took him to the commander. The centurion said, "Paul, the prisoner, sent for me and asked me to bring this young man to you because he has something to tell you." 19 The commander took the young man by the hand, drew him aside and asked, "What is it you want to tell me?" 20 He said: "The Jews have agreed to ask you to bring Paul before the Sanhedrin tomorrow on the pretext of wanting more accurate information about him. 21 Don't give in to them, because more than forty of them are waiting in ambush for him. They have taken an oath not to eat or drink until they have killed him. They are ready now, waiting for your consent to their request." 22 The commander dismissed the young man and cautioned him, "Don't tell anyone that you have reported this to me." 23 Then he called two of his centurions and ordered them, "Get ready a detachment of two hundred soldiers, seventy horsemen and two hundred spearmen to go to Caesarea at nine tonight. 24 Provide mounts for Paul so that he may be taken safely to Governor Felix." 25 He wrote a letter as follows: 26 Claudius Lysias, 26 To His Excellency, Governor Felix: 26 Greetings. 27 This man was seized by the Jews and they were about to kill him, but I came with my troops and rescued him, for I had learned that he is a Roman citizen. 28 I wanted to know why they were accusing him, so I brought him to their Sanhedrin. 29 I found that the accusation had to do with questions about their law, but there was no charge against him that deserved death or imprisonment. 30 When I was informed of a plot to be carried out against the man, I sent him to you at once. I also ordered his accusers to present to you their case against him. 31 So the soldiers, carrying out their orders, took Paul with them during the night and brought him as far as Antipatris. 32 The next day they let the cavalry go on with him, while they returned to the barracks. 33 When the cavalry arrived in Caesarea, they delivered the letter to the governor and handed Paul over to him..

This young man had sort of a secret spy job to do. He bravely spoke up and then had to act like everything was normal and keep silent.

So sometimes we really got to know whether to speak or not and he did a smart thing, he asked his uncle Paul what to do (can you imagine having Paul be your uncle, whoa! that would be a trip). When a new governor finally arrived guess how many days it took for him to see Paul in the court?
Acts 25:1 Three days after arriving in the province, Festus went up from Caesarea to Jerusalem, 2 where the chief priests and Jewish leaders appeared before him and presented the charges against Paul. 3 They urgently requested Festus, as a favor to them, to have Paul transferred to Jerusalem, for they were preparing an ambush to kill him along the way.

How do we know what to do and when to do it?
Let's turn to Hebrews 4:15-16
15.For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are--yet was without sin.
4:16
Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

This is so cool, like Esther we can approach the throne room of our great King, God, and you know why? but without any fear...
Because of Jesus. He came and as we saw He had to make hard choices, you know what He did after his parents found him in the temple, he went back to Nazareth that little hick town and obeyed them. He could have stayed amazing elders in the center of the Jewish world, the temple, He could have really been the Super Cool Super smart guy, a rock star but he submitted to his parents and did what they said!
Let's read that verse 15 again:

hebrews 4:15
For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are--yet was without sin.

That's talking about Jesus who lived a perfectly sinless life here and he felt just like you feel sometimes but He never slipped up, He was without sin. He faced every temptation and He paid for out sins on the cross and on the third day, He arose, He resurrected, He came alive again.
Because of that we can verse 16

4:16 Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Like Esther we can walk into the courts of the King and our King is God himself and He really gets you! He had to obey his parents and live here on this earth and face the same kinds of challenges you have to face.
So what does that mean for us?
Like that song we were singing this morning by David Crowder Band..
"I will not be silent.."
We ask Him to help us, we ask others to pray for us and help us, we read and study and be ready when we are asked to answer a teacher or even a king and like Jesus said when he was just 12 years old we stay in our Father's house and be about His business!

Okay so what did I do that day in class?
I prayed a quick prayer and I did not keep silent.
I told that old teacher that
because God knows everything (omniscient)
and is all powerful (omnipotent) He can see the beginning and end and He can make sure Everything works out for good but He can also let us make our own choices.
and yes I still believe in God.
I don't know what happened but that guy stopped it. He didn't hit on that subject again.
He didn't argue with me. He just went on to something else and all those kids in that class got to hear a little something about God.
So remember spend time in the throne room with God! He's just waiting for you and He so 'gets' you! and who knows if you will be used like Uncle Mordacai said "for such a time as this!"

the Need to Osculate

2009-03-12T13:48:00.000-07:00

Okay, it's fun being a Creationist. I try not to laugh when the Macro-evolutionist run into trouble but sometimes it's just too fun.

Why do we kiss? Why do we feel the need to swap spit and gum and lock braces?

Anthropologist Helen Fisher (you go girl) estimates that only 10% of humans don't smooch.

Yes, that sucks for them but that also sucks for evolutionists...what's the survival benefit?

Being a Creationist means I get to say, "God made it up 'cause it's super fun!"

and since I totally love the Bible I get to read fun stuff like this:

Song of Solomon 1:2
2 Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth-- for your love is more delightful than wine.

Here's a joke I made up:

Doctor is there some kind of pill I can give my husband so he will want to kiss me?

Well, there's a pill you can take, you may have heard of it...."TicTacs."

Mismatched socks

2009-03-12T06:56:00.000-07:00

Stoning people sucks. It's a really bad way to go, from what I understand. It involves everyone, not just one guy chopping a head or pulling a trap door. Death doesn't come quickly either...it hurts bad, well unless you got some big guy with a giant rock and really good aim or a slingshot. So why does this God of Love, this Person of infinite mercy and forgiveness use capital punishment?
Pushing it aside isn't an option if I believe this Bible, I cherish, is the actual Word of God, the Living and Active Sword of the Spirit. Nopers, got to face it head on.
Let's start with the very first guy who deserved capital punishment, well yeah, I guess, Adam sort of did for taking the bite, 'cause he knew just what he was doing...Eve didn't. She was deceived but that's other lesson.
I'm talking about Cain, Abel's brother. According to a Bar Mitzvah speech I heard once, there are times when death is the deserved punishment or necessary in defense. But God doesn't do that He lets Cain live and walk the earth... But here's the kicker. He puts some kind of mark on him. He lets everyone know this was bad, don't do this.
Gen. 4:13 Cain said to the Lord, "My punishment is more than I can bear. 14 Today you are driving me from the land, and I will be hidden from your presence; I will be a restless wanderer on the earth, and whoever finds me will kill me." 15 But the Lord said to him, "Not so; if anyone kills Cain, he will suffer vengeance seven times over." Then the Lord put a mark on Cain so that no one who found him would kill him.
16 So Cain went out from the Lord's presence and lived in the land of Nod, east of Eden.

Okay so I'm choking up when I read these verses. Baby, it's worse!!! It's worse than getting stoned (ha, ha..yes..I mean with rocks). Cain knew the Lord's Presence, really knew it and was sent out from the Lord's Presence. I know lots of us choose that everyday, but Cain really knew intimate fellowship with the Lord and then he was banished from it. The one thing we were truly created for is taken away from him. Just get a picture of the anguish he felt. I know a little tiny bit of what it means to me in His Presence it's awesome and amazing and everything good.Oh, to be cast out of that All encompassing Love, acceptance, and desire for little me...I can't imagine how horrible it was for Cain.

Gen. 6:5 The Lord saw how great man's wickedness on the earth had become, and that every inclination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil all the time.

So God does it. It carries out the first execution in the Bible. And it's the biggest ever...everyone except Noah and family, everyone and little bunnies too. Was this result of having no capital punishment, no law, allowing people like Cain to have a whole bunch of babies? I don't know. I do know that Cain's great, great grandson kills someone too and keeps on living and having babies.
This post isn't about having all the answers. This post is about not pushing anything in this book aside. Maybe I will raise more questions than I answer, that's good thing!

So God takes out all of these people with hearts that can't do anything but dwell on evil. It's like they are already dead. Living, walking, baby-making zombies of wickedness. What happens to them after they are killed in the flood? I don't know. Is it better to be drowned than to be a living wicked Zombie, we all know the answer to that if we've seen even one Zombie movie.

Genesis 9:6--"Whoso sheddeth man's blood, by man shall his blood be shed: for in the image of God made he man."

So God does make a few rules and later He makes a few more on Mt. Sinai.

Ex. 19:12 Put limits for the people around the mountain and tell them, 'Be careful that you do not go up the mountain or touch the foot of it. Whoever touches the mountain shall surely be put to death. 13 He shall surely be stoned or shot with arrows; not a hand is to be laid on him. Whether man or animal, he shall not be permitted to live.' Only when the ram's horn sounds a long blast may they go up to the mountain."

for touching a mountain? What is going on here?

Okay so it's hard for me to explain what I see and feel when I read these verses. But I love you so I'm gonna try.

Ex. 19:16 On the morning of the third day
This often repeated refrain, 'on the third day' which was first pointed out to me by the kibbutz choir speaks clearly to me of Jesus' resurrection from death. He is alive and that means life for me.

..there was thunder and lightning, with a thick cloud over the mountain, and a very loud trumpet blast. Everyone in the camp trembled.
This all happening on Shavuot, Pentecost, the first one after the first Passover. On Pentecost the Holy Spirit was first given to Peter and a bunch of believers and it changed them. (For more, check out my other blog.)

17 Then Moses led the people out of the camp to meet with God, and they stood at the foot of the mountain. 18 Mount Sinai was covered with smoke, because the Lord descended on it in fire. The smoke billowed up from it like smoke from a furnace, the whole mountain trembled violently, 19 and the sound of the trumpet grew louder and louder. Then Moses spoke and the voice of God answered him. 20 The Lord descended to the top of Mount Sinai and called Moses to the top of the mountain. So Moses went up 21 and the Lord said to him, "Go down and warn the people so they do not force their way through to see the Lord and many of them perish. 22 Even the priests, who approach the Lord, must consecrate themselves, or the Lord will break out against them."

Loud and clear to me like that shofar, we can't do it ourselves, we can't force our way to the Lord. There's this one guy who can go up and this one guy just comes back with more rules.

23 Moses said to the Lord, "The people cannot come up Mount Sinai, because you yourself warned us, 'Put limits around the mountain and set it apart as holy.'" 24 The Lord replied, "Go down and bring Aaron up with you. But the priests and the people must not force their way through to come up to the Lord, or he will break out against them." 25 So Moses went down to the people and told them.

All those rules, all that consecrating and the people just can't keep 'em...more and more rules given:
Ex. 21 and Lev. 20 tell us of capital punishment for murders, cursing at parents, sexual sins, for idolatry and blasphemy and breaking the Shabbat.
really harsh punishment for these offenses.
Let's look at the times when God actually said, "Okay so do it!"

In Lev. 24, the first blasphemer is stoned to death, in Num. 15, the first Shabbat breaker is stoned. In Joshua 7, Achan is stoned to death for taking plunder that God forbid. God makes sure he gets caught.
Josh.7:19 Then Joshua said to Achan, "My son, give glory to the Lord, the God of Israel, and give him the praise. Tell me what you have done; do not hide it from me." 20 Achan replied, "It is true! I have sinned against the Lord, the God of Israel.

Each of these happens once in the Bible. I don't see it as vengeance but as warning.

Now this one...oh this one hurts me, not gonna cry, deep breath...

David is so happy. He's bringing the Ark of the Convanent to the city of David. He got 30,000 guys to come along and a new cart and there is praising and music and dancing and....

2 Samuel 6:6-11
6 When they came to the threshing floor of Nacon, Uzzah reached out and took hold of the ark of God, because the oxen stumbled. 7 The Lord's anger burned against Uzzah because of his irreverent act; therefore God struck him down and he died there beside the ark of God. 8 Then David was angry because the Lord's wrath had broken out against Uzzah, and to this day that place is called Perez Uzzah. 9 David was afraid of the Lord that day and said, "How can the ark of the Lord ever come to me?"

We can't force our way to the mountain. His Holiness is so beyond us that just touching the Ark to keep it from falling caused Uzzah to die. David realizes this is totally beyond him.

Then one of my most favorite stories in the whole Bible happens:

2 Sam. 6:13 When those who were carrying the ark of the Lord had taken six steps, he sacrificed a bull and a fattened calf. 14 David, wearing a linen ephod, danced before the Lord with all his might, 15 while he and the entire house of Israel brought up the ark of the Lord with shouts and the sound of trumpets. 16 As the ark of the Lord was entering the City of David, Michal daughter of Saul watched from a window. And when she saw King David leaping and dancing before the Lord, she despised him in her heart. 17 They brought the ark of the Lord and set it in its place inside the tent that David had pitched for it, and David sacrificed burnt offerings and fellowship offerings before the Lord. 18 After he had finished sacrificing the burnt offerings and fellowship offerings, he blessed the people in the name of the Lord Almighty. 19 Then he gave a loaf of bread, a cake of dates and a cake of raisins to each person in the whole crowd of Israelites, both men and women. And all the people went to their homes.
20 When David returned home to bless his household, Michal daughter of Saul came out to meet him and said, "How the king of Israel has distinguished himself today, disrobing in the sight of the slave girls of his servants as any vulgar fellow would!" 21 David said to Michal, "It was before the Lord, who chose me rather than your father or anyone from his house when he appointed me ruler over the Lord's people Israel--I will celebrate before the Lord. 22 I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes. But by these slave girls you spoke of, I will be held in honor." 23 And Michal daughter of Saul had no children to the day of her death.

David now understood his own unworthiness, he calls himself undignified and humiliated in his own eyes. That is the reason for this harshness of God. We have to get it. We have to see our need for a Messiah. That's why the Law was given that's why death happens.

But oh thank God, He comes and changes all that. The Pharisees (super religious Jews) are trying to trap Jesus. They catch a girl committing adultery (wonder what happened to the guy?) and bring her to Jesus demanding He uphold the Law of Moses. Jesus does away with capital punishment in one sentence.
John 8:7 So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.
Done. He lifted himself up (cross reference there, no pun intended) and said "whoever is good, go for it!" There was only One there good enough to throw that stone and that was Jesus and He says, John 8:11 "Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more. "

He took death on Himself and gives us eternal life.

But if I'm not gonna shove anything aside, I've got one more...

Ananias and Sapphira... they sell their property then lie to Peter about how much they got so that they can give 'all' of it to the disciples and look all coolio. The Holy Spirit doesn't put up with it. They die on the spot. This again is a first. God is showing the seriousness of their deception. Is anyone else ever stuck dead for deception? Well, I know I haven't been and I have deceived. Once I gave up deception for lent (I thought I'd try that strange tradition that's not in the Bible.) Baby, I failed. But because of Ananias and Sapphira, I really understand that I don't want to do it.

As for mismatched socks, I'm pretty sure that's about the verse in Deut. 22:11 Do not wear clothes of wool and linen woven together.
Shoot,, but that just drips with meaning for me too. I'm such a Bible-nerd! Wool is sheep, baby. Sheep is the lamb of God. The lamb of God is Jesus and His supreme sacrifice. Linen are the garments we get after Jesus blood of the sacrifice covers us, linen is the garments worn by the priests in the temple and Aaron in the tabernacle... the attempts to "force our way to God." Attempts that by His very nature must fail. We cannot approach that mountain without His Holiness breaking out against us. We need the Lamb.

Here's another picture that pops in my mind when I read this rule:

John 19:23 When the soldiers crucified Jesus, they took his clothes, dividing them into four shares, one for each of them, with the undergarment remaining. This garment was seamless, woven in one piece from top to bottom. 24 "Let's not tear it," they said to one another. "Let's decide by lot who will get it." This happened that the scripture might be fulfilled which said, "They divided my garments among them and cast lots for my clothing." 24 So this is what the soldiers did.

We cannot mix our works of righteous in with the Messiah's once and for all, Work on the cross. This Anointed One paid the price He did it all. He was like that garment perfect, seamless, leaven-less, without sin.

and from that same Psalm that John speaks of here...
Ps. 22:31
They will proclaim His Righteousness to a people yet unborn-- for He has done it.

Oh He has done it. All the terror of the Law our school-master has been done away with. He has done it! Death no longer has a sting because we have been returned to His Presence, we have no longer been cast out from our Lord, and will dwell in the House of the Lord forever, Va'ed, Amen.

freewill

2009-03-11T15:05:00.000-07:00

Oh those homeschool girls! They are such unique flowers. We met today and I led the discussion to Hadassah, Queen Esther, in honor of Purim. They knew the story (if you don't, read my other blog.) They swiped down my first question with one flashing scepter.

I asked about Vashti and her refusal to obey her husband, the king.

"Depends on her motive, where her heart was..."

Motives matter.

So I tried something else. "Lots" or "Purim" in Hebrew, Haman cast lots to determine when the slaughter would take place. Proverbs 16:33, “The lot is cast but its every decision is from the Lord.”

and I let them have it... 'do we really have freewill or not?'

and oh those girls! It was beautiful; from 'yes, we have choices..' to 'but God is in control of everything' to an amazing example of how God can see the whole story written out; beginning, middle and end. He can see it all at once, outside of time.

Then she adds that God is the 'paper the story is written on,'...something she got from C.S.Lewis.

They ended the discussion with the 'P. word', paradox.

We can choose but God is sovereign.

Maybe next week I'll ask them about Jesus praying, "Not my will, but thine be done!"

Talk about a paradox :)! I love this!

And Now

2009-03-09T21:02:00.000-07:00

And Now

I said You were my Lord,
I said You were my King,
I said I'd gladly die,*
I'd give you everything.

chorus
And now, You are my Light in the darkness.
And now, You are my sword and my shield.
And now, You are perfected in my weakness.
And now unto You will I yield.

I trusted in my strength,
I trusted in my might.
You said, 'Come pray with me,**
Come, Peter, seek the light.'

There's no good thing in me.
I could not right the wrong.
You had to die for me,
You knew it all along.

And now I want to be
Your servant, brave and true.
I trust in you alone
to make my heart anew.

And now, You are my Light in the darkness.
And now, You are my sword and my shield.
And now, You are perfected in my weakness.
And now unto You will I yield.

Send it to him if you think it will help,
in His Love, Cindy

(for 'Peter' the code name for a pastor of an underground church in China who was enduring some spiritual warfare against his family)
*Mt 26:35 But Peter declared, "Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you."
** Mt. 26:40 Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. "Could you men not keep watch with me for one hour?" he asked Peter. 41 "Watch and pray.."

! Peter 2:9 But ye are .....a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light

Mountain

2009-03-04T16:38:00.000-08:00

"Oh, that word is wrong," I thought. My son, Danny has been trying to fix the spelling on the overhead projections of the worship songs. But this one just had the wrong word, I thought.

'Come Thou Fount,' is an old hymn so I opened the hymnal in the pew to check. "Wow, it is 'Mount.'"
Why would the writer be fixed upon a mountain? I'd rather be fixed upon a 'fount,' a fountain like at the beginning of the hymn. I like that; a 'fountain' overflowing on me. But it was a 'mountain.'
Then I remembered a Psalm that had always kind of confused me too.

Ps.121:1
I look to the mountains; where will my help come from?

I like mountains but they desolate lonely places. Maybe that's it! A place alone with God where I can hear Him like Jesus did a lot. But that verse talks about our help coming from the mountain. Maybe it's the Mt. of Olives. Jesus said he would return there. That's it, our ultimate Hope His return! But the words of this hymn spoke to my heart... "mount of His Redeeming Love." Calvary! Golgotha! Our Lord's willingness to give His all for us, His precious sacrifice for us... So that we could have Love beyond all understanding... Love that fills and fulfills... Love beyond our ability to even begin to understand.

Oh I think it's the 'Mount' that brings us to the 'Fount!'

everywhere

2009-03-04T15:46:00.000-08:00

At the Convalescent home this week, there was a bit of a riff. Irv (not his real name:) is a constant challenge, fun but a challenge. He has both shocked and embarrassed me with his comments in the past but this time was different. He really wanted answers and he was in earnest.

"So where is God then?" he asked.
One resident, Judy spoke up, "He's in heaven."
I added, "Yes, but remember 1Kings 8:27 the heaven of heaven of heavens cannot contain thee.' so I think He's everywhere."

"I've seen life and I've seen death and I've seen battlefields and people shot and people dead and hungry and God isn't anywhere!" said Irv.

That's not the first time I've heard this. I think last time it was from a homeless man.

"You are right. Irv. I haven't seen anything like that and it does seem like God isn't anywhere sometimes. But He is there. He could even remove Himself completely from the scene and then the suffering would end because there really would be nothing without His Presence. He chooses to stay. He is there with those who suffer. I don't know anything about suffering like that but Paul does. He knew whippings and beatings and stoning and the executions of his friends and he knew shipwreck and prison and hunger and loneliness and sickness. Do you know, what he called all these sufferings he saw? He called them 'light afflictions.'
'Light afflictions' compared to the glory that will be revealed to those who love God and trust Him.
2 Cor.4:17 For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; 18 While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.

Rom.8:18 For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.

Paul saw that our time here is short, temporal and even the sufferings here are not eternal, not forever. So when suffering comes we need to keep our eyes on the Eternal One who is Everywhere especially with those who suffer.

"Is He in Hell?" asked Irv.
"You'd better be careful or you'll find out!" said Judy.

Oh, I love the Convalescent Home!

Prayer Cloud Spirit Circle

2009-03-03T10:41:00.000-08:00

Re 8:4
The smoke of the incense, together with the prayers of the saints, went up before God from the angel's hand.
Watching clouds this morning. Little clouds rising slowly up to become One with the water vapor blanket holding the earth and warming me, body and soul.

Prayers are like those little clouds, sweet spirit incense rising up and joining the Shekinah Glory that fills the temple.

A light mist in my face reminds me of His constant Love blessing me back. More real than the water we drink, His Presence fills us and then we give it back again. Like the mist joining those clouds then raining down again the Prayer Cloud Spirit Circle that joins me to Creator nourishes us, pleasing God and spills blessings on those around us.
Prayer and worship are very real life-giving water that our Spirits cannot live without.
Communing with Father through Spirit can never be taken away from us. Friends and family and spouses, we do need.
But without worship and praise in our lives, our lives would be very shallow and dry. We need that constant infilling, that Spirit Rain of blessing that comes when we enter into the Prayer Cloud Spirit Circle.

Faith Gardening

2009-02-28T15:25:00.000-08:00

"It's about faith. You don't fix faith, River. It fixes you." Book, (Firefly)

"Why aren't there faith gardeners?"

Well., heck! Sometimes there are...

Once, walking to Kindergarten, Davy found a dandelion cloud and instead of blowing it, gave it to his 3 year old brother, Danny. He turned and looked all around the unkempt yard for one for himself, but there weren't any.
That afternoon, 5 hours later, we were walking past the same yard, and there they were dozens of dandelion clouds. I don't know do they grow in 5 hours?
Well, it doesn't matter it was Faith fixing me, like Book said.
I wasn't asking for it or even expecting it or imagining such a thing. But there they were; a yard full of dandelions for my sweet 5 year old son to blow and share with his brother.
A smart woman once said, " Just because a dog can't understand algebra doesn't mean it ain't so."
I like that kind of faith. Faith that goes beyond what my little mind can conjure up. Faith that says, "It's Alright," even when facing surgery or when God decides to do some weed growing anti-gardening. I want that kind of faith that fixes me, that is beyond the obvious purposes and goals. Faith that stretches to vision. Vision given by the Giver of All Things, who is capable and willing to bring All Things into knowledge and Oneness with Him. Oh Lord, give me your vision, your Faith, your "It's Alright!"

Col. 1:15 He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. 16 For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. 17 He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. 18 And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. 19 For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, 20 and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.

2009-02-26T11:20:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPytOtBnAk8

Oh this is for me...

I woke up from a deep sleep with one line from this song. I couldn't remember anything else about this song, only.."I'll put a pebble in my shoe.." God bless the internet, yes?

This video has me, like I feel me, singing it. And it includes my favorite psalm at the end.
Ps. 137 talks about how the captives hung their harps up in the branches of the willows so that perhaps, they could return and retrieve them. The captors wanted them to sing joyful songs of Zion, and they could not, not when they were captive in a strange land. So they hung up their harps, resting in the willows, safe for later.

and here's the poem, I wrote while I slept..

God's growing a rose in my heart,
and sometimes I pull the petals off,
and keep the roots from drinking.

Sometimes I trust and wait, and listen and learn
What Love is.

Sometimes a little girl blesses me with
a gift that helps me to see
All the good gifts that my rose
could grow into for so many.
So I'll put a pebble in my shoe and sing
Halelu, halleluya.

"BY MY SIDE"
Music & Lyrics:Stephen Schwartz
Where are you going? Where are you going?
Can you take me with you?
For my hand is cold
And needs warmth
Where are you going?
Far beyond where the horizon lies
Where the horizon lies
And the land sinks into mellow blueness
Oh please, take me with you!
Let me skip the road with you
I can dare myself.
I can dare myself.
I'll put a pebble in my shoe
And watch me walk
I can walk!
I can walk!
I shall call the pebble 'Dare'I shall call the pebble 'Dare'
We will walk, we will talk togetherabout walking
Dare shall be carried.
And when we both have had enough
I will take him from my shoe, singing"Meet your new road!"
Then I'll take your hand
Finally glad
Finally glad
That you are here
That you are here
By my side.
By my side. By my side.
By my side. By my side.
By my side.

As with One Voice

2009-02-24T07:44:00.000-08:00

2 Chron. 5:13 The trumpeters and singers joined in unison, as with one voice, to give praise and thanks to the Lord. Accompanied by trumpets, cymbals and other instruments, they raised their voices in praise to the Lord and sang: "He is good; his love endures forever." Then the temple of the Lord was filled with a cloud, 14 and the priests could not perform their service because of the cloud, for the glory of the Lord filled the temple of God.

I can see it...I can feel it, with other rejoicers, alone on the roof deck (I renamed it the Star Deck this morning:). I can feel that 'becoming One' in the praise of the Lord. Brian put this verse up last time the Seven worship band played and I stuck it in my head. Then I got to watch it happen this morning. The 'little cat feet' clouds came gently in and my tabernacle had clouds for branches, through which I could see more than 3 stars, oh and one meteor! A window in my cloud roof framed the beautiful traveler perfectly.

But the best part of this passage is that amazing occurrence, 'the priests could not perform their services.' That temple was often filled with tons of smoke from burnt offerings and a cloud chases them off? My clouds this morning tasted so sweet and refreshing. I could see glory upon glory right through them. The priests weren't needed. The sacrifice of Praise was being given in Unity with the Spirit in Oneness of heart and our good, Lord whose 'Love endures forever' was glorifying His Name.

John 12:27-3627 ..... for this very reason I came to this hour. 28 Father, glorify your name!" Then a voice came from heaven, "I have glorified it, and will glorify it again."

Jesus came for this very hour...to make the services of the priests unnecessary, to fill our world-wide tabernacle with the glory of the Lord.Let's find time today to raise our voices, our shofars, our lives as instruments of Praise!

Jesus came for this very hour...to make the services of the priests unnecessary, to fill our world-wide tabernacle with the Glory of the Lord. Let's find time today to raise our voices, our shofars, our lives as instruments of Praise!

Moist mayim b'sason

2009-02-23T13:12:00.000-08:00

Jer. 2:13 "My people have committed two sins: They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water.

Are our hearts moist?
Are the roots of our Spirits drinking from His fountain of joy?

Tears are often mentioned in scripture. Women cry for those they have lost. Paul cries 'upon every remembrance' of those far away from him whom he loved.

And Jesus our sweet Messiah, wept. Knowing full well that in moments he would call his friend from the grave, back to His side, yet Jesus wept.
His soul was so moist that He showed it through tears. His sweet friend, Mary, who sat at His feet with an open heart, who would later anoint Him with perfume wiped onto His feet with her hair, Mary was overcome with weeping for her brother.
Jesus' heart, our own Lord's Spirit, was broken with the heartache of His dear little flower. His Love for her brought forth the tears of God.
John 11:35 He was deeply moved in Spirit and was troubled...Jesus wept.

He could have just laughed at her and said, "Honey, I'm gonna raise him from the dead, come watch me!"

This God of ours had no thoughts of Himself or what He would do or say, He felt overcome and was moved. Then He wept. So authentic, so real, so beyond selfishness, He was not self-centered. The Creator of the Universe centered on a sweet, little friend and her tears.

Oh, I desire to be so filled with the 'mayim b'sason', the waters of joy, from my Spring of Living water that I could be as moved to tears with what overcomes my friends as Jesus.
Not thinking, "I know how I can help," or "This will cheer my friend up!!" or any other broken cistern that I try to lead them to in my self-centeredness.
To feel what they feel, to be overcome with what overcomes them, to be deeply moved, to love truly and deeply, overflowing with Love from the Spring of Living Water.
Oh Lord, God let me be moist.

Rock Pillow

2009-02-20T08:05:00.000-08:00

Ya'akov, Ya'akov...Jacob, Jacob! All those stars, a rock for your pillow and you didn't know that God was in this place? But you had just left all you knew behind, alone on a 'certain' mountain.

Jacob, father-deceiver, heel-catcher, running away from your only brother's wrath.

Sleeping alone, dreaming beneath countless stars. Did you remember just before sleep what your Father, Issac had surely told you? The story of God promising your Grandfather, Abraham, descendants to match those stars. Then your dreams come...angels, and the Lord speaking, promising to bless you, Israel ( your name to come), promising to bless all the Gentiles (nations) through your seed!

Jacob, Jacob you fallible father, you dreamer, you ancestor of the Line of David from which comes the Messiah in whom all 'the families of the earth shall be blessed!'

We learn from you...
even when we are running away, even when we have no thoughts of God in our hearts, when we lie down to sleep...
He is there, 'Even Israel', Rock of Israel never slumbers or sleeps.

Genesis 28:16-22
16 When Jacob awoke from his sleep, he thought, "Surely the Lord is in this place, and I was not aware of it." 17 He was afraid and said, "How awesome is this place! This is none other than the house of God; this is the gate of heaven." 18 Early the next morning Jacob took the stone he had placed under his head and set it up as a pillar and poured oil on top of it.

The Courts of the Lord

2009-02-18T13:21:00.000-08:00

Psalms 84:2
I long, yes, I faint with longing to enter the courts of the LORD. With my whole being, body and soul, I will shout joyfully to the living God.

Oh I feel that! Yesterday, I entered in for a bit. My 'court' was dancing, singing, and praising and laughing with my sons and their worship band. Some try to tell me that the priests of Baal did that too. They were trying to wake up their god. I think our praise is so different. We dance like David did in the streets with joyous grateful hearts. We ask Him for nothing. He gives us Everything. He fills us with His Holy Spirit, becoming One with us and inhabits the Praise we bring. He only asks us to be consumed with His Love.

Find a place my friend, where you can enter His courts with Praise and bring the sacrifices of thanksgiving, of a contrite heart, a humble Spirit and trusting soul.

Isa 57:15
For thus says the High and Lofty One Who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy: "I dwell in the high and holy place, With him who has a contrite and humble spirit, To revive the spirit of the humble, And to revive the heart of the contrite ones.

Free

2009-02-18T12:38:00.000-08:00

Priceless gifts given freely:

*stars * moon * sun * rain * wild flowers *birds *clouds * blue

We can't pay for these, we can't do anything for them but enjoy them. We can choose not to accept them, sort of, by locking ourselves away in busyness, in the tyranny of the urgent, in video screens, in our own inadequacy, in looking at our own muddy feet...

But let's not do that. Here's these gifts constantly given infinite and Divine.

All these priceless gifts are a picture of that most precious free gift.

You cannot pay for or deserve the stars or the wind or the scent of a wild flower.

Just so is this gift from Messiah, our Anointed King, our Lord, God, our Spirit Comforter.

Jesus said to the thief on the cross next to His, "Today, you will be with me in Paradise."

Nothing that thief could do to deserve it only ...accept.

Today accept His gifts, freely given...and crackling with Life!

Inspired by Micah's Ipod being qued up to 'Rush'....

Invisible airwaves crackle with life

Bright antennae bristle with the energy

Emotional feedback on timeless wavelength

Bearing a gift beyond price, * free !!!

I changed the last line to Sailsmen and took out the 'almost'.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Tq-UsaRchI

Post-Mortem

2009-02-15T12:35:00.000-08:00

'But any experiment, failed or not, can be valuable if it is properly documented. Creating mini post-mortems for your prototypes to archive why something did or didn't work can be valuable when addressing gameplay mechanics down the line. It is not necessary to create an elaborate document for each prototype you do, but a brief write-up on the successes and failures of the test are certainly worth the time.'

Phil. 4:4 Rejoice!... There goes that Paul again saying off the wall amazing things. Rejoice? From prison he writes this! "Rejoice!" Oh I need it this morning, I taught with all my red-headed exuberance and I went a little overboard, okay a lot overboard. One guy said, "she taught about poop for 20 minutes." Another quoted 2 Tim 2:12 at me...
"I do not permit a woman to teach."

But I'm gonna follow Paul's (other) advice and rejoice. Maybe I'm the brunt of jokes, the fool, the jester but I choose to rejoice. I betcha they'll never forget what God taught them this morning, and if nothing else; they got to laugh.

Successes: perfect timing, very memorable message, everybody listened the whole time, lots of laughs, simple and direct.

Failures: don't switch to caffeinated just before teaching even if you did get up at 3:00am, don't talk about poop, constipation, vomiting, cud chewing, and getting people sticky all in the same message. Cut down on the jokes, not everything has to be funny, you are not a stand-up comedian, don't point out the guy flirting with the girl in the back, especially if he really is flirting with the girl. One mention of wild sword dancing is quite enough.

Rejoicing is so easy when you read your list of failures and they make you laugh till you cry.
Sometimes this world is A-o'Freaking K.

Wisemen

2009-02-13T08:06:00.000-08:00

Got up late this morning so there were no stars or meteors except our big Mama Star. She slowly peeped in warming the world and painting the clouds pink and making the palm branches of my horizon-sized succah shine.
Had words from the wise king, Solomon in my head, as I enjoyed Mama Star's work.

Ecclesiastes 10:2
A wise man's heart is at his right hand; but a fool's heart at his left.

Sorry lefties, like my Micah, but most of us wave our swords with our right hands and brush our teeth with them too, (although my New Year's Resolution was to switch...i have failed:)

What Solomon means is probably best explained by another wise philosopher who 'just happened' to be cued up in Micah's Ipod which I 'just happened' to stick in my pocket as I climbed my roof top steps. Oh I do love these very well connected coincidences.

'Don't live another day unless you make it count...
Enjoy yourself do the things that matter...
'cause there isn't time and space to do it all...'

Be passionate about what you do and make what you do something worthwhile.
Whatever you do, don't do it with your left hand, like half way,
do it with your right hand and all of your heart.

'Swing out by your feet above the circus ring'
Mat 5:16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.
'Love the things you try,
show a little grace if you should fall.'
We all fall short of the glory of God (Rom. 3:23) but keep trusting Him to do it in you.

'Love your friends and miss them when they go...'

and cover it all with Love like warm Mama Star turning everything pink and shiny.
Thanks, Jonathan Coulton and Glen, for turning us on to him :)!

being 'Good'

2009-02-12T07:51:00.000-08:00

Gal. 3:11 Now, it is clear that no one is put right with God by means of the Law, because the scripture says, "Only the person who is put right with God through faith shall live."(Hab. 2:4 ).

Oh you, Paul! The things you say! Such an amazingly radical guy. He took this vision of Habakkuk's and ran with it.
We can't be 'put right' by keeping the Law, by being 'good?'
I have a friend who really hates this.
She sees this as a license to act badly.
I can see where she got that idea...
It does sort of sound like that and then you've got people (like me) who screw-up and are so thankful there's this big tub of forgiveness just waiting to be dumped down upon my head.
And I guess there's even Christians who say, "it's okay, I'll just go 'confess' tomorrow."

I have another friend who says we can only judge people by their actions.
I can see his logic too.
But my friend, Paul (can I call him my friend?), he just doesn't worry about the consequences and says a crazy thing like ;
Cor. 13:3 3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor,
and though I give my body to be burned, and have not love,
it profiteth me nothing.

What a trip! What is this crazy thing called Love that matters more than good actions.
There's this whole reality here that goes beyond what we see people doing or saying or what actions we take... there's this heart attitude that Paul says matters more.

You know who else said that our heart attitude matters more? That being humble and contrite is more important than doing good deeds?...yeah you guessed...Yeshua HaMashiach
Jesus the Messiah...
Luke 18:9-14
9 To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everybody else, Jesus told this parable: 10 "Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men--robbers, evildoers, adulterers--or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.'
13 "But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, 'God, have mercy on me, a sinner.'
14 "I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted."

"But Jesus that Pharasee was 'gooood!' He gave money, he fasted, he didn't rob or 'do evil' or lust..what a guy! And that other guy, Jesus, look he even admitted that he was a sinner!" Can't you just hear the people in the crowd whispering in disbelief. The one asking for mercy, begging for mercy got it. The one working hard to 'be good' ended up exalting himself and did not go 'home justified.'

Now, look what Peter says..
1 Peter 4:8
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

and John...
1Jo 4:18
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

Seems like those guys spent too much time hanging out with Jesus! We need to humble ourselves, knowing we are not 'good' but instead relying on love, the Love that is poured out on us from Jesus' sacrifice. He gave Himself for us, to bring us back to the Love of God. We need to rely solely on the cross, on that perfect Love.
Let's say we are motivated by fear, or by wanting to be admired, or by selfishness, or by wanting to appear 'good.'

It's like painting a picture with something that smells bad...or , or..

Oh I know, my son's beautiful girlfriend made us these lovely bowls. They are so light and unique and so perfect for Capt. Crunch. But she put in some little specks of shiny metallic paint. She's taking those bowls out of the kiln all fired and ready for cereal and her instructor says, "You know, you can't eat out of those..."
Those pretty specks are poisonous.
No matter how good my actions look, so pretty and shiny, if they have those specks of poison they aren't safe.
And I constantly need more time in the kiln with my Creator to keep those specks out. Being motivated by fear, or selfishness or anything but Love will end up being just a pretty show.

My faith needs to be in Love Himself, motivated by His Love in me.
Without faith it is impossible to please God and I want to have faith (not in myself or my actions) but in His Mercy, Grace, and Love ...
which are constantly pouring down on my head anointing me for His Mitzvah.

PS I made the bowls into candle holders, they are so shiny!

I know who I wanna take me home...

2009-02-12T07:14:00.000-08:00

Home

Feels like Home

Here in Your Heart

In the palm of Your Hand.

Ps.125:2
As the mountains are round about Jerusalem,

so the LORD is round about his people

from henceforth even for ever.

Big Loser

2009-02-09T08:33:00.000-08:00

Oh Father, I feel like a big loser...

Child, I want you to be a big loser;
in self justification,
in redeeming yourself,
in feeling more important than others,
of thinking yourself holier than others,
of thinking that you can do any good thing from good motives without Me.

I want you to be a big winner;
in trusting my work in you,
in thinking of others as more important and holier,
in giving yourself over to my Spirit,
so that when you do good deeds you and others
will glorify Me, your Father in heaven
and your heart will be like my Heart
and your spirit will be One with
My Holy Spirit and you,
My own little poem will
bless my Heart
like you are blessing Me right now.

I love you, my beloved.

Serving Creator?

2009-02-05T16:26:00.000-08:00

God is by abundant clarity, invisible. George MacDonald

John 6:28-59
28 Then said they unto him, What shall we do, that we might work the works of God? 29 Jesus answered and said unto them, This is the work of God, that ye believe on him whom he hath sent.

And they said, "Wait a minute that's not work! What are You talking about?"

But they didn't really ask that. Really they just tried to get Jesus to 'Harry Potter' some more bread for them. It was really good bread and it was cool that it just appeared and it was free! But Jesus didn't make them more bread. He wanted them to get His point.

John 6:51 I am the living bread which came down from heaven: if any man eat of this bread, he shall live for ever: and the bread that I will give is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world.

What Jesus gives is Himself. God loved the world so dang much that the Father gave His only son, His only son that whoever believes in Him might have Life.

The truth here is so simple that it's almost hard to see. God has one purpose, Love and He has one method, Love and He has one ultimate goal, Love.

I think that probably fathers and sons and even bread were all created to show this amazing truth about God. That all of creation and history and just every little thing shows His Love. But Love doesn't force itself on anyone.

I started this post thinking about works, what does God want me to do?

How can I be sure that what I am doing is for Creator?

What am I doing for man & not for God?

The answer came pouring over me while I was napping...

anything not motivated by Love.

get Sticky

2009-02-05T07:01:00.000-08:00

Notes for teaching Youth this Sunday :)
Who doesn't like honey? I guess there might be a few of you.
Danny loves it, in fact last year when we camped in Yellowstone (Danny's favorite place, not!)
he got his girlfriend one present, honey.
It was pollinated by bees that had been playing in huckleberry flowers or something.
(Maybe tell Kibbutz 'the honeys' story)
Are you getting sticky?

Psalms 119: 103 How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!

In some Jewish communities, when a child first begins to study the Torah (the word of God), the child is given honey to eat. I love this! I used to do that with ice cream. I'd read to my sons everyday while they had their dessert. It's a great way to reinforce that this book we are reading is something special. It's true sweetness. It's true food for our souls.

So my question for you is: Are you getting sticky?
Are you just 'reading' the Word of God or are you 'eating' it?
Are you digesting it and getting it all inside you?

For example:
Are you using God's word for 'defence against the dark arts?'

That's what Jesus used it for; (Luke 4:1-13)
Jesus hadn't eatin anything but God's Word for 40 days, He was in the wilderness, hangin out with His Father, then the Devil came and tried to tempt Him. You know what Jesus used?
Not a wand or spells just honey from the Bible. He spoke the things that God said and that was the end of the dual. That's better than a potion and you've got it available to you at anytime.
and it worked for Jesus everytime, He never sinned even once!
In fact, Paul actually calls the Word of God, the Sword of the Spirit!
Eph 6:17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
Maybe I'll paint a picture of that, a sword dripping with honey...
Now that doesn't mean that we never will fail but 'eating' a bunch of this 'honey' will really help!

Here's another example from Jesus;

Remember when He asks God to 'give us our daily bread?' Welpers, I do believe He's talkin about actual bread there but it goes further. We need to get food everyday and we even more need to get the food of the Spirit everyday. How can we do that? Eat some of this book everyday, don't just 'read' it ..eat it ...chew it up,,, the word 'meditate' is actually the same word used to describe a cow chewing her cud. She swallows it then brings it up again later and chews on it for awhile. Let's do that, let's chew up this Word like a cow. (Maybe I'll write something later called 'Be the Cow:)'...

There's something that the Catholic church does that I think is pretty neat.. they take communion everyday. Communion is the part of the Last Seder, a Passover dinner where Jesus took some bread and wine and blessed it and gave to His friends. Jesus said that He Himself is the Bread of Life Joh 6:35... Jesus declared, "I am the bread of life.
and John calls Him the Word of God.
John 1:14 The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us.
When we take in God's word and really make it nourish us and feed us spiritually it's like having dinner with Jesus. He sets us free from the power of sin.
Reading this book fills me up with that Truth everyday.

and remember what Jesus said, "I am the bread of life." That goes beyond just helping us in our day by day struggles, He gave Himself so that we could have eternal life.

One more example from Jesus. There's a proverb that says:
Pr 25:16
If you find honey, eat just enough-- too much of it, and you will vomit.

If we are eating God's word and getting all filled up and chewing our cud, and using it to defeat the Dark Side that's good but there's something else that's important

We can become big, fat word eaters if we don't give it out..
Here's what Jesus said,
John 4:34 "My food," said Jesus, "is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work. 35 Do you not say, 'Four months more and then the harvest'? I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest.

His food was to give this sweet honey to others.
We got to share it with people! Can you imagine eating and never pooping?

Not that sharing the word of God is pooping but you get what I mean ...
Don't just nourish yourself give it to others in words, in deeds, in Love.

(Anybody wanna go with me to the Convalescent Home today???)

Okay so get sticky, people!
Spend time in the Word daily and not just reading it but really getting it all over you
so that it will become your Sword of the Spirit, your Bread of Life to give to others,
and sweeter than the honey in the honey comb to your taste.

honeyhood

2009-02-04T09:02:00.000-08:00

Thank you Lord!
Thank you for this man who You told me to hang around with.
I am so grateful that we fell in love almost by accident but there's no accidents with You.
What a beautiful unity You have created between us...
of purpose
of joy
of eternal delights...
Thank you for our incredible differences that seems to knit us as two strands of yarn form a beautiful scarf.
We may be the scarf but You are the warmth and the color and You hold us together as One.
Amen
You know what's cool?
That after 25 years, Eric and I still call each other 'honey'.
We spent our first year of marriage on a kibbutz in Galilee.
As volunteers, we lived in close quarters with many other young people, most from Europe. Some started calling us 'the Honeys' because they heard us use this word so often.
Many also complained about our smiling and singing and general happy countenances but that has more to do with Jesus than with marriage.
Marriage is tough in the beginning. Two people becoming one isn't really as easy as mixing honey with apples and getting Charoset.
Ya gotta grate those apples, maybe add some nuts, and then for sure put in some wine.
The apple grating happens all the time; giving over to another,
considering the other's wishes before your own.
The nuts happen constantly too, from pet names to crazy situations, it's a lot of fun. (My pet name right now is 'silly b...female dog! Maybe I'll tell you the story sometime.)
By the wine, I don't mean you need alcohol to make it through!
I'm talking about God's Presence in our lives and relationship.
Ec. 4:12 says; A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
I think that is the secret to a truly lovely marriage that's both an adventure and a blessing.
Our scarf is made through and through with God's Love.
Thank you Lord!

Scent

2009-02-01T06:20:00.000-08:00

My friend sent me flowers. He lives far away so he had to call a shop here on my little island to order them. One of my youth group girls took the order and she got to write 'Happy Birthday' in Hebrew and she even corrected him on the date of my solar revolution day.
And when they arrived I danced with joy.
But there with the roses and other happy faces were tiger lilies. I tend to go overboard when I really like something and once I had done that with tiger lilies...I breathed in their scent so much that I made myself allergic to them .
So I put them outside on my patio looking happily in and just giving me a bit of scent when I walk by.
There's a woman from Bethany who tended to go a bit overboard too. Jesus was at her home and she got an idea. Mary got the most precious thing she owned and didn't just give it to Jesus, she opened it up and covered Him with it. The scent of that perfume must have just filled that house. In fact, I bet it clung to her hair (she was wiping His feet with it) for days. It probably still surrounded Jesus with fragrance when He sang at the Passover dinner with his disciples and accompanied Him when He prayed in the olive grove and when He suffered on the cross.
She was not serving anyone with that perfume but Jesus.
This morning on my roof deck, watching for meteors with my Best Friend I could smell those lilies. Oh that my life could be like that, serving God with a sweet fragrance that goes overboard for Him.

Truth

2009-01-30T18:03:00.000-08:00

"Truth is a beautiful and terrible thing, and should therefore be treated with great caution."
Albus Dumbledore

Thanks, Professor. I'm learning, I trust.

Jesus is a bit more intense when He talks about truth.

Mat. 7:6 Give not that which is holy unto the dogs,
neither cast ye your pearls before swine,
lest they trample them under their feet,
and turn again and rend you.

"Love on 'em"

2009-01-26T10:45:00.000-08:00

Gosh, I guess he was only 26 when I started bugging him...
"I want to teach!" "If you ever need me to teach.."
"Can I start a girl's small group?"
What I didn't know was, I needed teaching. Lots of teaching... by example and word from this young, red-bearded man.
He was always supportive and quickly gave me leave to try and start a Bible study with some seventh grade girls.
So I go up to them after church and start a conversation...
"Heard you had a party last night and that you girls were 'freaking' let's get together and study the Bible and I'll tell you why that is a really stupid thing for girls to do."
Well, I wasn't quite that lousy but really close!

But soon I was in a small group with Jamie teaching us 'wanna be' leaders.
I learned that relationships are way more important than preaching;
and spending time with kids is way more important than teaching:
and that our main goal, the real reason we do this at all is to
Love on 'em.
and how do we do that ???
We use a NET, right!
N-know and use their NAME!
E- make Eye contact
T- appropriate Touch (high five, baby or big hug, girl-friend)
We learned to share our lives with these kids and to love; to really love
and that has made all the difference in my life.
I'm scared for Jamie to go because I have learned and grown so much from just being around him. Now my home and heart are continually full of teens!
My ministry, my home, and my life have been changed forever my this young man and I am so thankful for his wonderful, laid-back loving style that has meant all the difference for my boys and me.
Chuck Smith has this saying, "Smooth and of the Spirit" I think that perfectly describes Jamie Nelson. He's been this calm sea where youth have learned and been encouraged to develop and use their gifts and talents to grow in wisdom, faith, and most especially love....
and not just them he's done the same for me.
I really get that verse in Mark 10, where Jesus promises us a whole bunch of brothers, sisters, mothers, and children. Jamie has show me the truth of that kind of abundance and simple faith in Jesus that makes life a beautiful celebration.
Thank you, Jamie Nelson.
We love you, Jamie and we thank God upon every remembrance of you!

Mark 10:29 "I tell you the truth," Jesus replied, "no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel 30 will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age (homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields--and with them, persecutions) and in the age to come, eternal life. 31 But many who are first will be last, and the last first."

The Ultimate Scientiste

2009-01-24T05:33:00.000-08:00

They're building a sea wall down by the bay. Eric and I walk or ride by it everyday. Most days it looks like there's just nothing getting done. It's a mess of cement and stone and workers and machines. Then one day, sure enough it actually looked like a sea wall. But they weren't finished. It was being made into art.
For weeks there's been a confusing mosaic of flat stones spread out over the street. The workers were cutting them and sanding them and trying to see how they would fit together.
Then yesterday...boom! There's this tapestry of close fitting stones completely covering the wall. It's beautiful and so pleasing. It actually competes with the view of the bay.
I think this world, our lives, our relationships are like that wall. Sometimes, we look like a confusing mess, forgotten and kicked around in the street. But one day, we will all come together and the beauty of our tapestry will teach the torches to burn bright.

Eph. 2:21 In whom all the building fitly framed together groweth unto an holy temple in the Lord: 22 In whom ye also are builded together for an habitation of God through the Spirit...

'Fitly framed together' sounds so fulfilling and so comfy.

and the mortar is Love...

Eph 4:15 But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into Him in all things, which is the head, even Christ: 16 From whom the whole body fitly joined together and compacted by that which every joint supplieth, according to the effectual working in the measure of every part, maketh increase of the body unto the edifying of itself in love.

Even the guy at the Bible study who I run away from and Eric endures with patience and grace, is being chiseled into a piece of our wall. Okay, so I hope my piece isn't right next to his...that's something God's gotta sand out of my heart. Maybe I'll make him some cookies :)

aeolian harp

2009-01-23T03:54:00.000-08:00

John 3: 6 That which is born of the flesh is flesh; and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. 7 Marvel not that I said unto thee, Ye must be born again. 8 The wind bloweth where it listeth, and thou hearest the sound thereof, but canst not tell whence it cometh, and whither it goeth: so is every one that is born of the Spirit.

'Make sure you have carrots in your pockets!' We were going on another walk. The wind was rising so I was taking my sons to what looked to me like a barren moor but was actually a grassy hill in Galilee.
On the way, we passed a fenced in yard with horses. White, spirited horses. They would dance when they saw us. They knew we had carrots in our pockets and sometimes an apple core.
When our pockets were empty and muzzles were petted, we'd refill them with stones as we walked on.
I can still see the valley below and feel my heart fly out with those stones as my toddlers threw them but I was holding their hands tight.
Oh and if the wind picked up, we could follow them for many heartbeats...
But that wasn't the goal. We kept on and maybe I'd give them a cookie from my backpack or maybe some Bomba...(peanut butter Cheetos, it's the best!)
Oh keep blowing wind, across this abandoned hilltop that looked like it was being used for a dump. But that was good, because that was where the treasure was, in the trash.
Now we could hear it low and warming, a good feeling in your core.
My wind flute... a discarded twenty foot, 10 inch wide pipe. The mouthpiece was made by rust or maybe it had some forgotten purpose but now the wind played it for me and my sons made it their playground.
The sound filled me up.
I want to try and make a wind flute on my roof. Made of old pipe but 'born of the Spirit.'

Romans 5:3 But not only that, let us also boast in our troubles; because we know that trouble produces endurance, 4 endurance produces character, and character produces hope; 5 and this hope does not let us down, because God's love for us has already been poured out in our hearts through the Ruach HaKodesh who has been given to us.

Here's a passage about a wind harp, I think I was reading this book when I found my flute. Maybe you can make one of these?

"I wonder," said lady Arctura, "what that curious opening in the side of the chimney-stack means! It can't be for smoke to come out at!"
"No," said Donal; "there is not a mark of smoke about it. If it had been meant for that, it would hardly have been put half-way from the top! I can't make it out! A hole like that in any chimney must surely interfere with the draught! I must get a ladder!"
"Let me climb on your shoulders, Mr. Grant," said Davie.
"Come then; up you go!" said Donal.
And up went Davie, and peeped into the horizontal slit.
"It looks very like a chimney," he said, turning his head and thrusting it in sideways. "It goes right down to somewhere," he added, bringing his head out again, "but there is something across it a little way down--to prevent the jackdaws from tumbling in, I suppose."
"What is it?" asked Donal.
"Something like a grating," answered Davie; "--no, not a grating exactly; it is what you might call a grating, but it seems made of wires. I don't think it would keep a strong bird out if he wanted to get in."
"Aha!" said Donal to himself; "what if those wires be tuned! Did you ever see an aeolian harp, my lady?" he asked: "I never did."
"Yes," answered lady Arctura, "--once, when I was a little girl. And now you suggest it, I think the sounds we hear are not unlike those of an aeolian harp! The strings are all the same length, if I remember. But I do not understand the principle. They seem all to play together, and make the strangest, wildest harmonies, when the wind blows across them in a particular way."
"I fancy then we have found the nest of our music-bird!" said Donal. "The wires Davie speaks of may be the strings of an aeolian harp! I wonder if there could be a draught across them! I must get up and see! I must go and get a ladder!"
"But how could there be an aeolian harp up here?" said Arctura.
"It will be time enough to answer that question," replied Donal, "when it changes to, 'How did an aeolian harp get up here?' Something is here that wants accounting for: it may be an aeolian harp!"
"But in a chimney! The soot would spoil the strings!"
"Then perhaps it is not a chimney: is there any sign of soot about, Davie?"
"No, sir; there is nothing but clean stone and lime."
"You see, my lady! We do not even know that it is a chimney!"
"What else can it be, standing with the rest?"
"It may have been built for one; but if it had ever been used for one, the marks of smoke would remain, had it been disused ever so long. .....

He turned to his ladder, set it right, mounted, and peered into the opening. At the length of his arm he could reach the wires Davie had described: they were taut, and free of rust--were therefore not iron or steel. He saw also that a little down the shaft a faint light came in from the opposite side: there was another opening somewhere! Next he saw that each following string--for strings he already counted them--was placed a little lower than that before it, so that their succession was inclined to the other side of the shaft--apparently in a plane between the two openings, that a draught might pass along their plane: this must surely be the instrument whence the music flowed! He descended.
"Do you know, my lady," he asked Arctura, "how the aeolian harp is placed for the wind to wake it?"
"The only one I have seen," she answered, "was made to fit into a window; the lower sash was opened just wide enough to let it in, so that the wind entering must pass across the strings."
Then Donal was all but certain.
"Of course," he said, after describing what he had seen, "we cannot be absolutely sure without having been here with the music, and having experimented by covering and uncovering the opening; and for that we must wait a south-easterly wind."
» George MacDonald » Donal Grant » Chapter XLI. The Music-Nest.

pleasing God

2009-01-22T13:30:00.000-08:00

Romans 5:6-21
8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. ..........11 And not only so, but we also joy in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom we have now received the atonement.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJOzdLwvTHA

It must have been May...that's when the Jacaranda trees are covered with multitudes of purple flowers. I'd run up stairs in our 'Jacaranda Tree' house (I name all the places we've lived in) through myself on the big, puffy chaise lounge and lost myself in the branches of purple filling up the floor to ceiling, wall to wall picture window.
Yup, crying again. I'd made a lousy dinner, or lost my temper, or done something and expected some praise, I don't know...something that sparked my feelings of not measuring up, of not pleasing my children or my husband or someOne.
"I just can't please them," broke through my tears as my heart got filled up with the bouquet of purple.
Sometimes we can hear things and they don't really sink in. Maybe that's why God speaks in a still small voice straight to our open spirit-ears.
"It's not your job to 'please' them. It's your job to please Me and I am very pleased with you because of Jesus."
This time I really 'heard' that message. It went into my spirit-ears and filled me up like the window's purple glow. God is pleased with me. It is finished. God is pleased with me.
That unconditional promise of Love and acceptance changes Everything. Done, settled...
Now I was free to grow and produce a multitude of flowers because His Love covered me and filled me up. Now my roots could sink deep and my branches reach up and even when my flowers sometimes turn into and spongy mess (like that dinner) tracked carelessly onto some white carpet, He is pleased with me. He is 'very' pleased with me, because of Jesus. :)

It's like a perfect, grande, nonfat, decaf, no whip, extra hot mocha....and a bear claw.
And a long chat with my friend.
Trusting and giving and loving and laughing and knowing...
He gets me and I trust him completely.

'do Over'

2009-01-21T06:47:00.000-08:00

Last night was Jamie's second to the last week, which hurts my heart. Oh I will miss this laid back youth director who has taught me how to love teens. I get to hear his messages twice on Tues. nights and last night, he talked about 'Do Overs.'

The kids were amazed as he listed all the Bible Greats who got 'do overs.' They had to live with the consequences but God forgives and embraces and even says they have hearts 'after His own heart!'
AND I got to be in Jamie's small group, where we went around the circle answering the question, "If you had just one 'do over' in your life where you could actually go back and change what you did, would you have used it yet."
I said, "no"...
George MacDonald wrote a short story called 'The Wise Woman' that's about that...maybe I'll go reread it today, 'cause I'm not really sure why I said, "no."
Something about learning stuff, and being content where I am, and trusting You, God totally (someone pointed out to me that God reads my blog:)...

Hebrews 12:1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2 Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

It's cool that all those 'witnesses' listed in Hebrews 11 got 'Do Overs' and thinking of them puts joy in my steps and trust in the Author and Perfecter.
Like one wise 16 year old said, "Everything that's of God is good and I wouldn't want to change anything He's doing."
She stopped by this morning to take me out for my birthday and explained to me that God's always teaching her stuff and she doesn't want to miss any of it.
Thanks wise woman!

Science in Starbucks

2009-01-16T06:43:00.000-08:00

Mocha and seven teen age girls listening to me?
What a trip, they want to listen to me..
Got a bunch of funny looks from newpaper readers when I started sharing all the surprises in space in 2008. Orion's nebula, ancient galaxies that are shining like bright, active youngsters, comet tails, and pulsars that just shouldn't be according to current theories... oh I love this stuff.
Theories, even set in stone theories, are still just theories.

Then I gave them a theory to test out, to make it a fact in their lives...

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you."

Seven girls, getting up early to pray and seek God in Starbucks and listen to an old gal who likes to act like a bright, active teen...not just a theory.

His Work of Art

2009-01-16T06:17:00.000-08:00

Jesus died for me
Beyond all understanding
Love has set me free

You're Lion and Lamb
Melech, Ozair, Mashiach
Reigning in my heart

Being Your art work
created mitzvot in You
Living sacrifice

Pressing to know You
Your words of Eternal Life
Where else can we go?

art and science

2009-01-15T20:13:00.000-08:00

"Art is different than science'
if your song is off key or your painting is a bit shaky or your poem doesn't really rhyme
quite right... it doesn't matter.
It's the feeling behind the art.
The laughter, the love, the expression of some amazing heartfelt truth that matters.

I think we are works of art, not science.

Love is trembling happiness. Kahlil Gibran

Feeling the Healing

2009-01-15T13:44:00.000-08:00

Oh yeah, I'm feeling the healing. Trying to trust and bide my time and just take a baby step out onto the water....can't just dive in. It'll come.

All things work together for good for those who Love the Lord and are called according to His Purposes. Romans 8:28

I had that verse on a cast on my leg. He heals. I've still got the scar but He heals. I skied again but I was alot more cautious and careful...no head-spinning runs down a slope beyond my ability to remain on my path.

Jamie our youth minister, my pastor for years is leaving at the end of this month. Oh I just want to fix it and make it so he can stay. But instead I'm just gonna trust and watch what cool thing God will show me. He would show me a thing:)

The youth room got cleaned out and my little lamb is gone. You know the one who watched over my glasses in an earlier post. You know what else is gone? All the blueness of my thumb got ripped off yesterday. I knew it would come with my heart healing.

Moment

2009-01-14T08:37:00.000-08:00

A Moment

Capturing a moment when all the furry fuzz of my hair moves to the edge of my perception and I can see. When I was 10, I wanted to paint a scene with my red locks framing the view so that others could really see just what I saw in that moment.
Eric's working on robots with the Coronado team this year and posed a question to me about 'moment' being applied to a surface in space. Would it rotate around the center or around the point where the moment was applied? Funny thing to talk about all curled up in bed :)..

I finally got the answer this morning. Away from the pressures and gravity of the world, the force of that 'moment' will send the touched one rotating around the 'center.' But with the weight of the earthly the rotation will be all around that one moment.

I want to capture moments and be in such an eternal place that each will send me circling more and more closely about the Center.

Language of a Place

2009-01-11T13:31:00.000-08:00

What's Mine's Mine by George MacDonald

"There is nothing like this anywhere!" said Ian.

"Do you mean nothing so beautiful?" asked Alister.

"No; I mean just what I say: there is nothing like it. I do not care a straw whether one scene be more or less beautiful than another; what I do care for is--its individual speech to my soul. I feel towards visions of nature as towards writers. If a book or a prospect produces in my mind a mood that no other produces, then I feel it individual, original, real, therefore precious. If a scene or a song play upon the organ of my heart as no other scene or song could, why should I ask at all whether it be beautiful? A bare hill may be more to me than a garden of Damascus, but I love them both.The first question as to any work of art is whether it puts the willing soul into any mood at all peculiar; the second, what that mood is. It matters to me little by whom our Ossian was composed, and it matters nothing whoever may in his ignorance declare that there never was an Ossian any more than a Homer: here is a something that has power over my heart and soul, works upon them as not anything else does. I do not ask whether its power be great or small; it is enough that it is a peculiar power, one by itself; that it puts my spiritual consciousness in a certain individual condition, such in character as nothing else can occasion. Either a man or a nation must have felt to make me so feel."

Psalms 19:1-6
1 The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. 2 Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge. 3 There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard. 4 Their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world.

Wolf Moon

2009-01-10T16:08:00.000-08:00

Biggest full moon of 2009 tonight!
Don't miss the beautiful

'Wolf Moon' as the Native Americans

call January's full moon.

Just read that on Space.com.

But I shoulda knowed it before.

Went to sleep last night needing comfort and found a quote from George about

the language of a place.

The way a landscape will have a voice unlike any other.

This reminded me of my last night in Yellowstone

and waking up crying with the wolves.
Oh yeah, I get what you are saying, G. MacD.

Oh and then this morning, Eric thinks I need a walk through the zoo. He's brilliant.

We see a llama just snorting and crying and running about...
A few minutes later I see someone walking up with a dog...must be a seeing eye dog, I think.
Nope it's a wolf. Llama knew it was coming, I should have too:)
It's a snow white Arctic wolf...
guess what the other name of tonight's moon is?
The Snow MOON...
Listen, shema at moon rise tonight XOXO

thanks for the picture, DancingWolf.

wide excision

2009-01-10T06:38:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I'm convinced that unlike Posh-spice, PASH will just keep on growing. Those two words make me cry...'wide excision.' I know I should be braver and not so vain but I'm not. I like my nice, little breast that lives right over my heart and I don't want it to be widely excised.

I was thinking about 'duck diving' and 'Max facing the Wild Things' this morning on the roof but I am still crying. Watching the moon set helped. It's so big when it's right next to the horizon. When looked at in relation to the trees and buildings, it looks huge. But an hour before with a background of stars, she was small and lovely. My PASH is the same. When I look at it from the eternal background of my Father's beautiful will, it's small and I can trust Him to use this for good in my life.

I'm still crying but that's okay, He's got me.

Here's a quote from my other blog that I found this morning:

'And my goal is to get less of me and more and more of Him. But I'm still His little poem, not Him. I like being His little song that He's working on and added a riff here and there, taking out a chord that doesn't work. He can use me too. Oh, gotta go dance:)'

Pseudoangiomatous stromal hyperplasia

2009-01-07T20:31:00.000-08:00

Pseudoangiomatous stromal hyperplasia or PASH for short, but I'm calling it POSH...
(I like the Spice girls.)

What is it? a rare harmless type of breast tumor that I got!

Yeah, thanks for praying and caring and blessing me so much my friends.

Isaiah 38
13 I waited patiently till dawn, .....
I looked to the heavens.
I am troubled; O Lord, come to my aid!"
15 But what can I say? He has spoken to me, and He himself has done this.
I will walk humbly all my years because of this.....
16 Lord, by such things men live; and my spirit finds life in them too.
You restored me to health and let me live.
17 Surely it was for my benefit......
In your love you kept me .....
you have put all my sins behind your back. ......
20 The Lord will save me,
and we will sing with stringed instruments
all the days of our lives in the temple of the Lord.

Ziggy Zig Ahhh :)

Let's get Used

2009-01-06T07:46:00.000-08:00

“Be thy heart a well of love, my child,
Flowing, and free, and sure.
For a cistern of love, though undefiled,
Keeps not the spirit pure.”

~George MacDonald, Phantases

What good is love if it sits in a lovely challis ''undefiled'...?
Sometimes my sister and I joke about running away to her cabin and escaping all
the messiness of living mixed up with so many souls. But we don't really mean it.
In a recent letter I used the word, 'perfect' twice. I want to change that.
Being 'perfect' isn't my job.
My job is loving.
Even when Jesus tells us to be perfect it's in the context of overflowing with Love.
Check it!
Mat. 5:44 But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

Be perfect by flowing 'free' and 'sure' a river of Love that just might get a bit muddy but will be gloriously used by Him !

Best day after New Years Day ever

2009-01-02T13:05:00.000-08:00

You know it's the best day after New Years ever when you;
have a house full of 7, no 8 teens and
visits, texts, and phone calls, from so many guests that you forget to
change out of your PJ's...
cooked pancakes, brownies, mac n cheese and mochas...
had to make a second pot of coffee...
and now we're ready to go out for sushi!
yeah!
oh and I watched Muppet Christmas Carol again and the 'flying snowman' video
while I swept up pine needles and drank my Peppermint Mocha.
yeah!

Resolution song

2009-01-02T08:28:00.000-08:00

I got the perfect resolution for us. And it's sung by muppets and Scrooge transformed!
Here's the link:)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1arHlfbdy8A
A Thankful Heart

With a thankful heart, with an endless joy,
with a growing family, every girl and boy,
will be nephew and niece to me,
Will bring love, hope and peace to me
Yes, and every night will end
And every day will start
With a grateful prayer
And a thankful heart.

With an open smile
And with open doors
I will bid you welcome
What is mine is yours
With a glass raised to toast your health
And a promise to share the wealth,
I will sail a friendly course
File a friendly chart
On a sea of love
And a thankful heart.

Life is like a journey
Who knows when it ends,
Yes, and if you need to know
The measure of a man
You simply count his friends.

Stop and look around you
The glory that you see
Is born again each day
don't let it slip away
How precious life can be.

With a thankful heart
That is wide awake
I do make this promise
Every breath I take
Will be used now to sing your praise
And to beg you to share my days,
With a loving guarantee
That even if we part
I will hold you close
In a thankful heart.

I will hold you close
With my thankful heart

Connections

2009-01-02T07:00:00.000-08:00

How does He do it? How does God connect me with so much and so many in this amazingly beautiful life? I just want to reach out and hug Everything.

Oh I hope you are experiencing the jolly walk He takes with us everyday.

Follow His footprints. Sometimes they take us to hospitals, sometimes to Hanukkah parties but always He's there and always He cares.

Found a book I HAVE to read this year. Yes, it's by George MacDonald. Yes, I know my New Years resolution is to do something I've never done before each month. But I just have to read this book. It's a book I've had floating around in my brain for years, like, since college. Not that I've wanted to read it since college, I didn't know it existed,. I've wanted to write it since my Shakespeare class at Redlands.

But now I found my favorite author, my soul-echo has already written it. Well, maybe I'll try doing an update of it or something. So amazingly Jolly!

Nes Gadol Hiya Sham

2008-12-26T20:01:00.000-08:00

Miracle...Life

Let us in all the troubles of life remember that our one lack is life, that what we need is more life--more of the life-making presence in us making us more, and more largely, alive.

George MacDonaldUnspoken Sermons, Second Series

I do live expecting great things in the life that is ripening for me and all mine—when we shall have all the universe for our own, and be good merry helpful children in the great house of our father. Then, darling, you and I and all will have the grand liberty wherewith Christ makes free—opening his hand to send us out like white doves to range the universe.

'But at risk of seeming like I take miracles for granted

(which I don't--I've just never seen anything that wasn't one),

I'm not at all surprised.'

wild thing kaddesh

2008-12-26T06:52:00.000-08:00

My friend, Jamie named his baby, Max.
I know a really good story about a 'Max.'
This Max doesn't let time, or difficulties or regrets hamper him in any way.
He doesn't spend any time wondering why, or how, or what if.
Max just goes for it.
I want to be like Max.

Time:
'and he sailed off through night and day
and in and out of weeks and almost over a year'

'Y'hey sh'mey rabbah m'varach l'alam u'l'almey almahyah.'
May His great Name be blessed forever and to all eternity,
through night and day and in and out of weeks and almost over a year...,

Time is ....wow, I can't finish that statement! I don't really know what Time is.
But I know this; it's something God created and He has complete control of time and He has a limitless supply of time.
Max can spend one evening in his room and travel through a day and a night and almost a year. I just want to use whatever time I have to bless His Name. And I think I can do that best by utterly trusting Him to all eternity through night and day and in and out of weeks, 'Beyond all the blessings and songs, praises and consolations that are uttered in the world.'

Difficulties:
'And when he came to the place where the wild things are they roared their terrible roars and gnashed their terrible teeth
and rolled their terrible eyes and showed their terrible claws
till Max said "BE STILL!"and tamed them with the magic trick'

Throughout the world which He has created according to His will.
When Max encounters the wild things, he doesn't bemoan their presence or try to reason why they are about...he looks them square in the face and accepts them and tames them!
When wild things come I want to stare into their eyes know that God is in control and trust Him.

Regrets:
'And Max the king of all wild things was lonely and wanted to be where someone loved him best of all.
Then all around from far away across the world he smelled good things to eat so he gave up being king of where the wild things are.'

'May He establish His kingship, give blossom to His redemption and hasten His Messiah. '
Sometimes, like Max, I end up in a place full of my own wild things.

I need to give up my rule, I don't want to be (and really can't be) king. I need Him to be king. Him, who? Him who loves me 'best of all'. I want His Messiah to establish His Kingship and blossom with His redemption in my life and heart.

I want to let the unsurrendered 'wild thing', "know it's been a part of me for the time being, and part of God's plan for now, but it's not really needed any longer, it's done, and it can go about it's business elsewhere, thank you very much."

Yup, and my supper is still hot.

Blue is the Kaddesh..
Lilac is 'Where the Wild Things Are,' by Maurice Sendek

Come in

2008-12-25T05:58:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pR_8kmOmxyk

Here's Hagrid again...only now he looks like me and there's dancing and I don't think there's
a moose but it's hard to tell!

Carry Me Away...

2008-12-24T10:14:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kov4nUt0Fwo

This has been my favorite Christmas song for a couple of years now!

Oh, I love this Blues Traveler guy's voice, oh my yes!

...and this video has what looks like Hagrid's back stomping through

the Forbidden Forest getting a tree...but then you realize it's a nice lady with a

big coat and great hair. Oh and it ends with dancing and a Bullwinkle:)

Here's some bunny pics...

Band-aid

2008-12-23T21:52:00.000-08:00

"It is by loving, and not by being loved, that one can come nearest the soul of another; yea, that, where two love, it is the loving of each other, that originates and perfects and assures their blessedness. I knew that love gives to him that loveth, power over mny soul be loved, even if that soul know him not, bringing him inwardly close to that spirit; a power that cannot be but for good; for in proportion as selfishness intrudes, the love ceases, and the power which springs therefrom dies.

Yet all love will, one day, meet with its return. "

— George MacDonald (Phantastes)

About 3 months ago, I slammed my thumb in the door. The cool thing is that a few minutes before doing it, I was standing by the door watching my husband leave for work and I started sucking my thumb like I had already hurt it. Very cool.

I'd say I've got about another month to go before it stops looking purple. Sometimes it takes a long time to heal.

I'm glad I've got this band-aid of Love that is always ready to help me heal.

1John 4:7 -
Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God.

Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.

He's coming to Town :)

2008-12-21T07:34:00.000-08:00

Sharing at the Convalescent Home today..'cause Eric's sick :) gotta hurry !

'Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow...'

Anyone know the rest of that line?
Tell story about Eric opening up all the presents one year while his mom slept on the couch...
Anyone here find it hard to sleep at night?

I guess for us it's usually not because we're waiting for a special visit, especially a special visit from Santa but the Bible encourages us to have that same kind of expectation and delight in waiting for the Lord to appear.

(Should I try the 'Silly Virgin' story again????)
Yes, yes I will!
mAT. 25
1 "At that time the Kingdom of heaven will be like this. Once there were ten young women who took their oil lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. 2 Five of them were foolish, and the other five were wise. 3 The foolish ones took their lamps but did not take any extra oil with them, 4 while the wise ones took containers full of oil for their lamps. 5 The bridegroom was late in coming, so they began to nod and fall asleep. 6 "It was already midnight when the cry rang out, "Here is the bridegroom! Come and meet him!' 7 The ten young women woke up and trimmed their lamps. 8 Then the foolish ones said to the wise ones, "Let us have some of your oil, because our lamps are going out.' 9 "No, indeed,' the wise ones answered, "there is not enough for you and for us. Go to the store and buy some for yourselves.' 10 So the foolish ones went off to buy some oil; and while they were gone, the bridegroom arrived. The five who were ready went in with him to the wedding feast, and the door was closed. 11 "Later the others arrived. "Sir, sir! Let us in!' they cried out. 12 "Certainly not! I don't know you,' the bridegroom answered." 13 And Jesus concluded, "Watch out, then, because you do not know the day or the hour.

These girls were waiting expectantly....
How can we have our lamps lit bright like the 5 wise virgins?
Right... be like a little kid waiting for Santa...
leave out milk and cookies for Him,
write Him letters,
talk about Him
think about Him,
watch for HIM!

Maybe some of you have seen the movie, "ELF"...
There's this cool man who was raised by Santa's elf's and when he hears
that Santa is coming, he just starts whooping and cheering and clapping.
It's like he can't contain himself.
I want to be like that about Jesus coming back, as excited as Buddy the elf.
I want to be as excited as the shepherds and wise men.
I want to be that little kid waiting and watching like the wise virgins who had
plenty of oil for their lamps.

Luke 21:27 And then shall they see the Son of man coming in a cloud with power and great glory. 28 And when these things begin to come to pass, then look up, and lift up your heads; for your redemption draweth nigh.

(I think I'll wear my elf/Link/ robin hood costume!)

Moon Song

2008-12-21T07:31:00.000-08:00

There You are
Speaking to me in the moon and the clouds and the stars. *
Here You are whispering to me in the wind,
telling me that you're my closest friend. **

Because You love me
Just as I am. ***
Because you love me
Just as I am.

My closet is the roof top ****
My ceiling is the sky
I feel your arms around me
with You I don't have to try

Because You love me
just as I am
because You love me
just as I am

Like the moon I'm changing
I'm filled up with your love
Your Spirit works within me *****
My strength comes from above

Because You Love me
make me like You
Because You love
me make me brand new ******

because You Love me
because you love me
because you love me...

*Psalms 19:1-6
1 The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament sheweth his handywork. 2 Day unto day uttereth speech, and night unto night sheweth knowledge.

**John 15:13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. 14 Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you. 15 Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends

***Rom. 5:8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

****Mat. 6:6 But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.

*****Ephes. 3:16b ..to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man; 17 That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; 19 And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God.

******2 Cor. 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

Duck Dive

2008-12-20T06:49:00.000-08:00

Ever watched a surfer 'duck dive' under a big wave? This massive foaming wall of water is pounding towards the frizzy headed guy paddling on his board and it's just about to hit. Then he pushes the nose of his board underwater and the wave just roars on by over his curls. Sometimes if your hair is long enough you can feel the wave pulling your hair back but you're in this safe channel of peace beneath the turmoil. It's amazing to experience and breath taking to watch.
Yesterday, I found out that my breast lump has grown so I've gotta face the wave. It was really bugging me all afternoon and then we went to the surf movie, watched those guys duck diving those enormous waves. You know, I can't surf but I can act like a duck, take a deep breath, and dive.
God is so faithful. He's always there even when there's this confusing mass of water heading for you.
So come on! Let's take a deep breath of the Spirit and act like a duck.

beach towel cape

2008-12-16T12:57:00.000-08:00

Well, I guess to some I come across 'like a kid with a beach towel for a cape who thinks she's
Superman.' But that's okay... I know I can fly and I want these kids to find out that they can too.
So if that means saying "yes" to the Spirit's musings and being misunderstood by some for a time, as long as the lightening flashes and a few see it and grow in Love and learn to let Him speak to their lives, that's cool.
When you get told by one person, 'You make no sense,' it sucks. But then you just scarcely turn around and another tells you how glad her son is that he bothered to wake up early on a Sunday, that I really inspired him...then well I'll take all the 'you make no sense' comments available.

Like my friend, Breeze reminded me; my whole point was not to spell it out. I want them to find out for themselves, to seek, to search, to ask, and to listen.
So let's get out those towels and fly around the room again.

silly rabbi

2008-12-14T12:36:00.000-08:00

Okay, that was totally fun. I love teaching those teens. And there was a ton of them today because so many college students were home for break. The parable about the ten virgins led to me saying 'don't be a silly virgin' which led to me saying, 'Tricks are for kids' which I quickly down-played by heading straight to a joke I learned in my youth.

There was once a city of Trids. The Trids were sad because everyday a giant would come and kick them!

Oneday a wise Rabbi came to town. The Trids explained their problem to him and he promised to try to help.

When the giant came and started kicking the Trids, the Rabbi asked him, "Why are you kicking only the Trids? Why don't you kick me??"

And the giant answered..." Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Trids!"

I am so thankful that I have that joke stuck in my redhead forever and ever, vaed! Don't forget to watch for meteors tonight. Blessings.

Holy Oil

2008-12-14T06:41:00.000-08:00

Saw 12 meteors this morning and thought and prayed about my teaching today...
Wish I could just mind meld with the youth...just let them see what I'm trying to communicate along with all the reason and feeling and history and love and faith and hope behind it. But I can't and it's probably a good thing 'cause then they'd also get all the yuckiness that's in my head too. The motives that I have but I don't want and maybe I'm not even really aware of yet.
But you know what...?
That's what the Holy Spirit is all about ...communicating all that good stuff that I can't . Here I am asking them to be Oily Sheep and I'm trying to be the Oil.
Holy Spirit ,
I trust You. I dance in You. I give You full reign this morning. My plans are for You to get all over and into these kids however You desire. In the worship music, in the Word, in your Presence, oh may You reign.
and thanks for all the cool meteors...Tons of Love, Back at cha! Cindy red.

Oily Sheep

2008-12-13T11:56:00.000-08:00

Notes for teaching tomorrow..

Imagine if there was a pill you could take and all the tough things in your life would just be gone.
I woke up from a dream with that thought in my head this morning. In my dream, the pill was huge, like a horse pill and very dull looking and kind of mushy.
I decided against it.
The guy offering it kind of looked like a car salesman with a horsey smile and plastic features. I bet you wouldn't take it either. I bet George Washington or Judah Maccabeus wouldn't either. You all know who G. W is and probably most of you have heard me teach about the Maccabees before.
The thing that's really cool to me is that they both fought for the freedom of their country and that Washington lived about 200 years before our time and Judah Mac. lived about 200 years before Jesus' time. They both succeeded with God's help and a tiny band of rebels
to defeat the Empire! Yup, now I'm thinking of Luke Skywalker.
Without their tough times and their victories, we wouldn't have the US or Judaism, Hanukkah or Christmas..(or wookies dancing with those little creatures from Endor.)

Let's turn to John 10 and check out how Jesus celebrated Hanukkah one year.
Feast of 'Dedication' in hebrew that's Hanukkah.
It's called that because the temple was a mess. The evil empire had desecrated the most holy sacred place for Jews. The perpetually burning menorah was out and pigs had been sacrificed on the altar, the Emperor had set up worship of himself instead of for God.
John 10
22 Then came the Feast of Dedication at Jerusalem. It was winter, 23 and Jesus was in the temple area walking in Solomon's Colonnade.

As Jesus walked along, he was probably thinking about the courage of the Macabee brothers and their father, Matthias in rebelling against the Emperor and fighting against the Empire's trained soldiers. A Great Miracle happened There'Nes Gadol Hiya Sham' in Hebrew and then another miracle happened when the perpetual menorah lamp was lit. There was only enough holy oil for 1 day but it stayed lit for 8; the time it would take to produce more Holy Oil! I'm sure Jesus was thinking of these things, chilling with the Father and just having a Happy Hanukkah. Then in comes trouble ...

24 The Jews gathered around him, saying, "How long will you keep us in suspense? If you are the Christ, tell us plainly."
The religious leader of the day came in and started questioning him.
Are you the Messiah, the Anointed One, the King?If so tell us plainly.
Welpers, Jesus answered them in the spirit of Hanukkah
and referred to the miracles (He called them good works or mitzvoth) He had done.

25 Jesus answered, "I did tell you, but you do not believe. The miracles I do in my Father's name speak for me,
Now the thing that really blows my mind is that they don't deny that Jesus did miracles,.. check out verse 33...
we aren't stoning you because of the miracles you do but because of what you say.
Jesus claimed to be the Messiah, the King, One with the Father or as they put it 'you a mere man, claim to be God."

33 "We are not stoning you for any of these(miracles)," replied the Jews, "but for blasphemy, because you, a mere man, claim to be God."
Miracles, magic trouble relieving pills, do not convince people to believe God. Those religious guys, knew Jesus had power to heal and raise from the dead and multiply fish and loaves but these things don't convince people to follow God.
The most amazing miracles is in verse 28...
28 I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand.

He gives his sheep eternal life and no matter what ;we are safe in His hand. No matter what!then the other super amazing miracle is in verse 30 where He says I and the Father are One.

30 I and the Father are one."

Jesus never said the words, "I am God" for a very good reason...He didn't want us worshiping three different Gods.
God is One. Get that? Not three God's, one God. That's why it's so cool here that He says, I and the Father are One. It's absolutely brilliant, but what did I expect from God :)
Anyways, so miracles and magic pills don't make us His sheep... and that really is the goal of our lives here...to be His sheep.
You might think it's to be successful or to do good or help people but the real goal;
the real reason we have life at all ;is to be His sheep.
In verse 27, we see what that means to be His sheep...
listen to His voice and follow Him..

27 My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.

and the test to see if you are His sheep is simple too.
'I know them...'does He know you?
Do you listen to his voice and follow him?
Even a bunny can do it, (you knew I had to mention bunny!) She watches my every move and I see her watching me, twitching her little nose and I give her some petting or play with her or give her some nibbles.
Are you watching for Him? Here's an example..a parable of Jesus'..
Mat. 25:1 "God's kingdom is like ten young virgins who took oil lamps and went out to greet the bridegroom. 2 Five were silly and five were smart. 3 The silly virgins took lamps, but no extra oil. 4 The smart virgins took jars of oil to feed their lamps. 5 The bridegroom didn't show up when they expected him, and they all fell asleep. 6 "In the middle of the night someone yelled out, 'He's here! The bridegroom's here! Go out and greet him!' 7 "The ten virgins got up and got their lamps ready. 8 The silly virgins said to the smart ones, 'Our lamps are going out; lend us some of your oil.' 9 "They answered, 'There might not be enough to go around; go buy your own.' 10 "They did, but while they were out buying oil, the bridegroom arrived. When everyone who was there to greet him had gone into the wedding feast, the door was locked. 11 "Much later, the other virgins, the silly ones, showed up and knocked on the door, saying, 'Master, we're here. Let us in.' 12 "He answered, 'Do I know you? I don't think I know you.' 13 "So stay alert. You have no idea when he might arrive.

You know what?? that's so like H.
They needed their lamps to shine... they needed Holy oil and
oil is a symbol of the Holy spirit and you know where they got it from?
Same place it came from in the day of Judah M...from God!
Watch for Him, be ready to respond to Him...How? read this thing(Bible),
hide it in your heart and mind and soul and spirit.
Get alone with Him and listen... spend time praying, with others and studying this with them.
Let Him fill up your lamps with Holy Oil. Then He will know you and you will be
His sheep, the sheep of His hands.

Is. 40:11 He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.
Let's end with verse 14 and 15 from the same chapter.
John 10:14 "I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me-- 15 just as the Father knows me and I know the Father--and I lay down my life for the sheep.
Jesus laid down His life so that we can know the Father.

If you don't have one of these you can actually carry around and read ask for one for Christmas or Hannukah or ask Jamie and he'll give you one. Be the bunny, you're God's favorite, be an oily sheep.
If you don't know what I mean by 'Oily Sheep' go read Ps. 23 until you do.
Also read all of John 10, it is awesome for sheep...and answers so many tough questions, we all ask.

Gemini Rising

2008-12-12T15:36:00.000-08:00

Oh Happy Sunday!

I get to teach the youth about Hanukkah...

and if that's not fun enough, it's like the

best meteor shower of the year.

Only problem is that once the moon rises at about 7:00pm

it'll be difficult to see many of the beauties.

So we just gotta watch for those shooting stars between

6:00 and 7:00.

Gemini will rise in the east and the twins will bring with them

the bits of dust that light up the night.

Then that big daddy moon will rise and shine speaking of truths

both old and new.

Oh my heart will rejoice as great miracles happen all about us and in us

and with us and through us.

deer and bunny

2008-12-12T08:13:00.000-08:00

Pslam 84

Psalms 84:1-7 1 How lovely is your dwelling place, O Lord Almighty! 2 My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the Lord; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God. 3 Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may have her young-- a place near your altar, O Lord Almighty, my King and my God.

Psalms 42:1-5
1 As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. 2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?

I need to find your altar today...a beach walk, at a stop light, in my heart.

Happy Birthday George MacDonald!

2008-12-10T12:33:00.000-08:00

"Now Phantastes ... had about it a sort of cool, morning innocence ... What it actually did to me was to convert, even to baptise ... my imagination." C. S. Lewis

When I read what C S Lewis said about George MacDonald, I had to try him out for myself. Immediately, my goal for that year of reading all I could of Lewis was vanquished.
I'd found my mentor, my soul-echo, and without the smell of a pub. I still love that Irishman who led me to MacDonald but Lewis is such a manly man. He's such a guy's guy. He couldn't begin to speak to my heart from the tavern bench or his academic desk the way my Scotsman sang from the moors. 'Baptise', immerse, set free indeed. George MacDonald allowed me to believe that God and His world are as wonderful and lovely as I'd hoped in my deepest desires.
He has taught me to think and notice; love and trust.

From Diary of an Old Soul by George MacDonald
Dec. 11 ....then shall I live such an essential life
That a mere flower will then to me unfold
More bliss than now grandest orchestral strife-
By love made and obedience humble-bold.
I shall straight through its window God behold;
God, I shall feed on thee, thy creature blest
With very being-work at one with sweetest rest.

Happy Birthday, George, soul-echo!

hannukah is coming!

2008-12-09T15:27:00.000-08:00

Hannukah is almost here and I love God so much. He had so much fun today reminding me to edit my chapter on Hannukah. I all could think about lately when it comes to blogging is George MacDonald's birthday but not today. Micah asked for Hannukah CD's to give to his girlfriend's mom. One of my gal pals brought over a present and it's a super neat Menorah window light! Then a kid at youth group's mom made me a Hannukah handtowel. It's so fun to be blessed.

Saw eight (I think it was eight:) meteors this morning and that's definately a reminder of this Feast of Lights and Miracles. Anyways, miracles and light are constantly surrounding us, connecting us, and filling us with His Presence. Watch for 'em!

an E-mail conversation

2008-12-06T10:37:00.000-08:00

Tons of Love, Cindy

May your 'tons' always weigh heavy upon me to squeeze out the earthy bits that are sprinkled through my soul:) -yj

Hi yj,

I used to sign letters, 'In His Love' but switched when someone pointed out that, 'love, (it's all His)!'

Thinking about your reply on the roof this AM. Wow! His Love is like this wonderful
weight; like a great heavy blanket or sheepskin wrapping us up and
pressing out 'the bits' that don't belong!
There's so much joy in the pressure.
2 Cor. 5:14 For the Messiah's love has hold of us...
Luke 13:34 Yerushalayim!..How often I wanted to gather your children,
just as a hen gathers her chickens under her wings...(quote from Jesus.)

from The Complete Jewish Bible

Can't you just picture Him with a big feather cape like the Indians use?
Wouldn't it feel great wrapped up under His arms?

I researched it and those capes represent power or royality and the Great Spirit.
Awesome! Sounds like Messiah, Jesus to me!

Here's a pic of bunny all wrapped up... Tons of Love, Cindy

a facebook conversation

2008-12-02T12:53:00.000-08:00

Cindy wrote...
hi H!
6:57pm H wrote
hayyy
have you had to deal with death?
8:46pmCindy
no I haven't
loss and pain yes,,, but not death
8:46pmH
do you know what the bible says?
8:46pmCindy
about death?
8:48pmH
people around you
dieing
8:48pmCindy
The thing I always think of is that...God loves the person who died more than we do and so we can totally trust Him with them
8:50pmH
but how should i deal with pain
8:51pmCindy
that involves trust too. Just have to keep on giving it to Him. Keep on saying "I don't understand but I trust You"
8:53pmH
what if you dont tho...
im so scared
8:54pmCindy
then ask Him for that trust, that faith to see Him as He really is...totally in control
and I will pray for you and go to sleep praying for you tonite
8:55pmCindy
and listen to the song. ' blessed be the name'
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mZH9T9XNVU
8:56pmH
i always sing it and i dont remember the words....
hahah
wow
8:58pmCindy
He gives and takes away, my heart will choose to say , "blessed be the name"
8:58pmH
yea that parts about to come up
8:59pmCindy
He will use these hard things for good in your life and in others' lives too
8:59pmH
i just dont see good...
9:01pmCindy
Oh yup, it's gonna be a while maybe you'll never get to see the good until you go to heaven but there is good ...He's promised
Romans 8 talks about it
9:02pmH
awesome thats what i needed
brb
wait what part
9:03pmCindy
It also talks about how to pray when its too hard to pray...
rom. 8:26-28
9:04pmH
it seems i fell off because if it tho...
9:06pmCindy
that's why you can pray with the Spirit, words unutterable
9:06pmH
whats the last word meen?
9:06pmCindy
not words but groans
9:07pmH
huh?
9:07pmCindy
it's like music of your heart
9:07pmH
aww
9:07pmCindy
you don't know what to say so the spirit takes over
9:08pmH
how do you personaly pray
9:10pmCindy
I pray lots. On the roof in the morning singing with the stars and while I'm in bed for family and friends and I listen when I need too like right now
9:11pmCindy
and I thank pray all the time for lots of little things
9:11pmH
i wish i was that into god
9:12pmCindy
ask Him
9:12pmH
i get scared
9:12pmCindy
of what?
9:13pmCindy
He looks at you and He sees His sons blood covering you and making you pleasing to Him
He loves you
turn off the ipod, tv or whatever and spend time with Him. He loves you
9:15pmH
i get scared cause i cant show him i love him as much as he can
9:16pmCindy
yUP AND you will fail Him a bunch ..I know I do
9:17pmCindy
but I trust that He is using everything in my life to shape me and others for eternity
9:18pmH
you really help
9:18pmCindy
just go say 'hi, i love you' and wait for what He tells you or what comes next in your gut. He's waiting
9:19pmH
have you heard the song all i need is you
9:20pmCindy
Maybe, but God did say it's not good that a man be alone... we do need each other too!
9:20pmH
yea
http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DMV63_Vmf-74%26NR%3D1
9:21pmCindy
okay so let's go pray and I'll listen to that song!
9:22pmH
ok well im goin to take your advice
and get off line

tiny dancer

2008-11-30T06:03:00.000-08:00

Known. Completely, utterly, joyously, known.
One little dancer in His hand and He knows me.
The great Composer finds the perfect venue and I dance.
I will trust Him to use my little dance in His great composition.

My heart cries out with joy as I dance in the living God.

In this ballet, where each smile, word, slip, each step can be used by Him;
My soul sings for joy to the living God.

I went to sleep and woke up with that 'tiny dancer' song in my head. I'm so glad I'm a girl.
I feel so completely adored and loved and cherished by God and I think maybe it's easier for girls to feel that because we don't mind being vulnerable and dependant and carried.

You know, I was told again that my posts don't really make sense and that I should explain more. But the One who adores me put this quote in my path without me even looking for it.

It has been ambitious and plucky of me to attempt to describe what is indescribable, and I have failed, as I knew I would. But I have discharged my duty to my society; and besides, a writer, like an acrobat, must occasionally try a stunt that is too much for him. At any rate, it is worth reporting that long before the circus comes to town, its most notable performances have already been given. Under the bright lights of the finished show, a performer need only reflect the electric candle power that is directed upon him; but in the dark and dirty old training rings and in the makeshift cages, whatever light is generated, whatever excitement, whatever beauty, must come from original sources—from internal fires of professional hunger and delight, from the exuberance and gravity of youth. It is the difference between planetary light and the combustion of stars. From The Ring of Time by E. B. White

I dance a star dance.

a conversation between brothers

2008-11-29T07:29:00.000-08:00

Here comes George MacDonald's birthday. Sometimes I read his words and I just wonder at how someone so far removed from me, so different than me, can feel just the way I do. I wonder that he can explain to me what I know deep down in my heart.
George MacDonald died the same year that my grandfather was born 1905. I like that. It's like a little connection between us.
Here's an excerpt from 'What's Mine's Mine,' a wonderful romance novel by my favorite author.

"But I want to know what you mean by her having her revenge on you?"said Alister.
"Whether I loved her then or not, and I believe I did, beyond a doubt I love her now. It needed only to be out of sight of her, and see other women beside the memory of her, to know that I loved her.--Alister, I LOVE HER!" repeated Ian with a strange exaltation.
"Oh, Ian!" groaned Alister; "how terrible for you!"
"Alister, you dear fellow!" returned Ian, "can you understand no better than that? Do you not see I am happy now? My trouble was that I did not love her--not that she loved me, but that I did not love her! Now we shall love each other for ever!"
"How do you know that, Ian?"
"By knowing that I love her. If I had not come to know that, I could not have said to myself I would love her for ever."
"But you can't marry her, Ian! The Lord said there would be no marrying there!"
"Did he say there would be no loving there, Alister? Most people seem to fancy he did, for how else could they forget the dead as they do, and look so little for their resurrection? Few can be said really to believe in any hereafter worth believing in. How many go against the liking of the dead the moment they are gone-behave as if they were nowhere, and could never call them to account! Their plans do not recognize their existence; the life beyond is no factor in their life here. If God has given me a hope altogether beyond anything I could have generated for myself, beyond all the likelihoods and fulfilments around me, what can I do but give him room to verify it--what but look onward! Some people's bodies get so tired that they long for the rest of the grave; it is my soul that gets tired, and I know the grave can give that no rest; I look for the rest of more life, more strength, more love. But God is not shut up in heaven, neither is there one law of life there and another here; I desire more life here, and shall have it, for what is needful for this world is to be had in this world. In proportion as I become one with God, I shall have it. This world never did seem my home; I have never felt quite comfortable in it; I have yet to find, and shall find the perfect home I have not felt this world, even my mother's bosom to be. Nature herself is not lovely enough to satisfy me. Nor can it be that I am beside myself, seeing I care only for the will of God, not for my own. For what is madness but two or more wills in one body? Does not the 'Bible itself tell us that we are pilgrims and strangers in the world, that here we have no abiding city? It is but a place to which we come to be made ready for another. Yet I am sure those who regard it as their home, are not half so well pleased with it as I. They are always grumbling at it.
'What wretched weather!' they say. 'What a cursed misfortune!'they cry. 'What abominable luck!' they protest. Health is the first thing, they say, and cannot find it. They complain that their plans are thwarted, and when they succeed, that they do not yield the satisfaction they expected. Yet they mock at him who says he seeks a better country!--But I am keeping you awake, Alister! I will talk no more. You must go to sleep!"

"It is better than any sleep to hear you talk, Ian," returned Alister. "What a way you are ahead of me! I do love this world! When I come to die, it will tear my heart to think that this cave which you and I have dug out together, must pass into other hands! I love every foot of the earth that remains to us--every foot that has been taken from us. When I stand on the top of this rock, and breathe the air of this mountain, I bless God we have still a spot to call our own. It is quite a different thing from the love of mere land; I could not feel the same toward any, however beautiful, that I had but bought. This, our own old land, I feel as if I loved in something the same way as I love my mother. Often in the hot summer-days, lying on my face in the grass, I have kissed the earth as if it were a live creature that could return my caresses! The long grass is a passion to me, and next to the grass I love the heather, not the growing corn. I am a fair farmer, I think, but I would rather see the land grow what it pleased, than pass into the hands of another. Place is to me sacred almost as body. There is at least something akin between the love we bear to the bodies of our friends, and that we bear to the place in which we were born and brought up."
"That is all very true, Alister. I understand your feeling perfectly; I have it myself. But we must be weaned, I say only weaned, from that kind of thing; we must not love the outside as if it were the inside! Everything comes that' we may know the sender-of whom it is a symbol, that is, a far-off likeness of something in him; and to him it must lead us-the self-existent, true, original love, the making love. But I have felt all you say. I used to lie in bed and imagine the earth alive and carrying me on her back, till I fell asleep longing to see the face of my nurse. Once, the fancy turned into a dream. I will try to recall a sonnet I made the same night, before the dream came: it will help you to understand it. I was then about nineteen, I believe. I did not care for it enough to repeat it to you, and I fear we shall find it very bad."
Stopping often to recall and rearrange words and lines, Ian completed at last the following sonnet:--
"She set me on my feet with steady hand,
Among the crowding marvels on her face,
Bidding me rise, and run a strong man's race;
Swathed mo in circumstance's swaddling band;
Fed me with her own self; then bade me stand
Myself entire,--while she was but a place
Hewn for my dwelling from the midst of space,
A something better than HER sea or land.
Nay, Earth! thou bearest me upon thy back,
Like a rough nurse,and I can almost feel
A touch of kindness in thy bands of steel,
Although I cannot see thy face, and track
An onward purpose shining through its black,
Instinct with prophecy of future weal.

"There! It is not much, is it?"
"It is beautiful!" protested Alister.
"It is worth nothing," said Ian, "except between you and me-and that it will make you understand my dream. That I shall never forget. When a dream does us good we don't forget it.
"I thought I was home on the back of something great and strong-I could not tell what; it might be an elephant or a great eagle or a lion. It went sweeping swiftly along, the wind of its flight roaring past me in a tempest. I began to grow frightened. Where could this creature of such awful speed be carrying me? I prayed to God to take care of me. The head of the creature turned to me, and I saw the face of a woman, grand and beautiful. Never with my open eyes have I seen such a face! And I knew it was the face of this earth, and that I had never seen it before because she carries us upon her back. When I woke, I knew that all the strangest things in life and history must one day come together in a beautiful face of loving purpose, one of the faces of the living God. The very mother of the Lord did not for a long time understand him, and only through sorrow came to see true glory. Alister, if we were right with God, we could see the earth vanish and never heave a sigh; God, of whom it was but a shimmering revelation, would still be ours!"
In the morning they fell asleep, and it was daylight, late in the winter, when Alister rose. He roused the fire, asleep all through the night, and prepared their breakfast of porridge and butter, tea, oat-cake, and mutton-ham. When it was nearly ready, he woke Ian,and when they had eaten, they read together a portion of the Bible,that they might not forget, and start the life of the day without trust in the life-causing God.
"All that is not rooted in him," Ian would say, "all hope or joy that does not turn its face upward, is an idolatry. Our prayers must rise that our thoughts may follow them."
The portion they read contained the saying of the Lord that we must forsake all and follow him if we would be his disciples.
"I am sometimes almost terrified," said Ian, "at the scope of the demands made upon me, at the perfection of the self-abandonment required of me; yet outside of such absoluteness can be no salvation. In God we live every commonplace as well as most exalted moment of our being. To trust in him when no need is pressing, when things seem going right of themselves, may be harder than when things seem going wrong. At no time is there any danger except in ourselves, and the only danger is of trusting in something else than the living God, and so getting, as it were, outside of God. Oh Alister, take care you do not love the land more than the will of God! Take care you do not love even your people more than the will of God."